tushanshu | oo2 ; [ video ]

[It has almost been a month, and already Eponine looks far better than she had when she made her first appearance on the Network. Gone are her bloody rags, replaced by clothing that, while perhaps not her preferred style, actually fit her small frame and kept her covered. There's a light in her eyes that hasn't been there before.]

I had been wandering about the other night, keeping to myself- an old habit that I cannot drop, I do love to venture out at night, to see what there is, to experience a world that no one else sees because they are asleep- and I had a thought.

I have been here near a month. A month since I could feel my life leave my body. Such a long time! But already- already here I have been happier than I can recall in nine years! Only one other time can eclipse this!

Here, I have a home, clothing, a bed. There is food and I am warm. I have my beautiful brother- and mark me, I shall not leave him again, I have promised him and I will not go back on this promise. Not again- and I have friends.

I do not suppose I have ever had a true friend until I came here.

Death is by far one of the more grand things that has ever happened to me! To think-- no. I shall tell you, if you are listening, that I am happy here. Happier than I have ever deserved!

[She pauses for a moment, looking off to the side of the screen, and frowning.] Perhaps Enjolras is right. It is stupid to do these things so late at night. Forgive me. I have made a fool of myself yet again.

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To some of us, to me, the injury is permanent. It's a scar across my heart, over my soul. I do not believe it shall ever go away, and if it does? Then what is it that I should do? How to live without such a thing when I have never done so before? It would be too easy to fall back on to old habits. To take further relish in them.

[She sighs, pursing her lips slightly as she regards Enjolras.] I do not believe I can be healed, Enjolras. Deep down, I am not sure I want to be. [If only for Marius, would she want to wash herself clean of everything that came before.]

What is it that I have shown you? I appreciate your gratitude, but I do not believe I am worthy of such praise.

How to live without that is the thing. When there is something which defines us so much as that did you, being without it feels uncertain and what ground that we are left to stand on is shaky at best and there is little of it. What I thought then...I have no idea. I was stupid when we were getting started, and I still had much to learn when I came here.

Perhaps not healed, no. [Too much has happened for that. For Eponine to have escaped that life unscathed, it would have needed to happen a very long time ago, when they were both too young to have done it themselves. The thought of it is painful, perhaps more than it would have been once because she is now a friend.] But perhaps helped enough that it must not harm you any more than it has, or even enough that it does not take your future.

You have shown me greater realities than those I knew. That when I think something has reached its worst, the path can still continue downward, but in spite of that, one can survive, that there is still an ember and it glows at least, if it does not burn. As long as it glows, and one goes on, there is still something in this world, in people themselves. It is something to keep in mind, I think.

[To escape unscathed, one must have been Cosette. How she had done it... That ugly scrap of a thing who'd hidden under stairs, who'd played the whipping boy at Eponine's every whim. She was the lucky one. Always had been.]

I have no future outside this city, m'sieur. At home, like you, I am dead.

[She smiles faintly at his words, something inside of her coming to life.] And I burn. [That was what Loki had said. Darling Loki. But he said she burned. And he was not the only one who saw it.]

[It is still odd to think of that, that the people he speaks to here are dead. For Enjolras, it is not so strange as all of that to BE dead, as he remembers the moment well, and he suspects it may be that way for everyone else who has died, though he he has not asked either, but at the moment, he nods.]

So you do. Burn brightly then, for so long as you can.

I shall do so as best as I can, Enjolras.

[She gives him a sad smile.]

I should go. I wish to bring Gavroche dinner. I shall speak with you soon.

Never forget.

[And he is returning that smile with a firm, confident nod. He damned well knows she will burn, at any rate.]

Of course. Do tell him I said hello. I know he has been busy lately so we've not been so much in touch.

Of course. I shall see you soon, Enjolras.

[She disconnects.]

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