[video]

[sharpes]

[Brandon looks, for all intents and purposes, bored as hell.]

You know what this place really needs?

[Bit of a pause. Purely for dramatic effect, you understand. He is an actor.]

Twitter.

And if you have to ask me what that is, you're seriously dead to me. Like. Don't even try.

Comments

[controlledvariable]

I'm sorry. [About the dad thing. For all that she hates hers, at least she knows who he is.

She hopes her daughter never feels like she's missing something by not knowing who she is. That's not something she wants to think about.

She'll just focus on the fact that Brandon's mom sounds awful]

Is it okay if I say I don't think I'd like her, either?

[Not even gonna lie, she'd probably yell at her for being a shit mom]

[sharpes]

Naw, don't be.

[His expression is a little dry.]

She's... sort of an acquired taste.

[controlledvariable]

You don't wish you knew? [there's something in her tone that suggests he's welcome not to answer.]

Sounds like it. I've never been a huge fan of parents who push their kids into things.

[sharpes]

I don't really care. Either way it's just somebody else in my life who doesn't give a shit about me.

[... he pauses.]

Sorry, that's--

[grimace.]

[controlledvariable]

Don't apologize. [she waves a hand as if to brush it away, there's not reason he needs to apologize for that]

I'm starting to come to the conclusion that parents were invented just to screw us up. [It's a joke that's not a joke]

video;

[allbend]

What the heck's a "Twitter" and why do we need it?

action

[crotcharrow]

Yeah, exactly. She's mad at me. So I'm giving her space. I'm not about to poke the fucking bear.

[he huffs. Because yes, he had been a dick toward Brandon not her, why is this so hard to figure out.]

I already apologised, what the hell else d'you want me to do?

action

[sharpes]

I can pretty much guarantee she doesn't want space. Steph-- doesn't like it when people are angry at each other. Just go talk to her, okay? If you 'give her space' she's going to think she did something wrong.

[God, why is he even doing this he doesn't even like Tommy except for the part where he's hot.]

[ audio ]

[sharpes]

... right. So I'm dealing with an idiot. Well that tells me everything I need to know.

[R U D E.]

video;

[sharpes]

Name one.

[hello nurse.]

audio

[sharpes]

... Yeah. Bingo. Right on the money. It's like Swiss Family Robinson. As acted out by birds.

[He is so sarcastic, man...]

[sharpes]

I'd drink to that.

[No, really. He would.]

video;

[sharpes]

[... okay, well, she's hot, so he won't be a total douchebag--]

It's a microblogging platform. Sort of like what we're doing right now, except you're limited to a certain number of, you know, characters.

[controlledvariable]

I didn't bring any liquor.

[the sad face she makes is slightly overdramatic]

[sharpes]

We should fix that.

[Delinquency is only a bottle of tequila away, okay.]

[controlledvariable]

I dunno, I tend to make interesting life choices when I've been drinking... [The way she says it makes interesting sound like something between a threat and a promise]

[sharpes]

Oh yeah? Interesting how?

[He hops up on the countertop to listen.]

[controlledvariable]

[She looks at him with a raised eyebrow]

You might not want to hear, I find boys tend to get jealous hearing about past exploits.

[Exploits, yes]

[sharpes]

Try me.

[Yep he'll take that challenge.]

[controlledvariable]

Well, for starters, if anyone tries to convince you that sex on a balance beam won't end in tears and broken bones, they're lying,

[sharpes]

I could've told you that one.

[eyeroll.]

[controlledvariable]

Then where were you when I'd had twice as much vodka as necessary and a boy was trying to convince me it was a great idea?

[Yeah]

[sharpes]

Probably relaxing on a beach with the entire Russian gymnastics team.

[You think he's kidding...]

[controlledvariable]

You're not even joking, are you? You're gonna give me a complex.

[It's mostly a joke, but also how can she compete with the entire Russian gymnastics team!!!]

[sharpes]

[He shrugs after a moment, and polishes off that last bit of ice cream. Yeah maybe he's paying more attention to that spoon than he strictly should.]

Yeah, but they were a publicity stunt. I... picked you.

[Well they sort of picked each other but. Semantics.]