[video]

[sharpes]

[Brandon looks, for all intents and purposes, bored as hell.]

You know what this place really needs?

[Bit of a pause. Purely for dramatic effect, you understand. He is an actor.]

Twitter.

And if you have to ask me what that is, you're seriously dead to me. Like. Don't even try.

Comments

[controlledvariable]

Don't apologize. [she waves a hand as if to brush it away, there's not reason he needs to apologize for that]

I'm starting to come to the conclusion that parents were invented just to screw us up. [It's a joke that's not a joke]

[sharpes]

I'd drink to that.

[No, really. He would.]

[controlledvariable]

I didn't bring any liquor.

[the sad face she makes is slightly overdramatic]

[sharpes]

We should fix that.

[Delinquency is only a bottle of tequila away, okay.]

[controlledvariable]

I dunno, I tend to make interesting life choices when I've been drinking... [The way she says it makes interesting sound like something between a threat and a promise]

[sharpes]

Oh yeah? Interesting how?

[He hops up on the countertop to listen.]

[controlledvariable]

[She looks at him with a raised eyebrow]

You might not want to hear, I find boys tend to get jealous hearing about past exploits.

[Exploits, yes]

[sharpes]

Try me.

[Yep he'll take that challenge.]

[controlledvariable]

Well, for starters, if anyone tries to convince you that sex on a balance beam won't end in tears and broken bones, they're lying,

[sharpes]

I could've told you that one.

[eyeroll.]

[controlledvariable]

Then where were you when I'd had twice as much vodka as necessary and a boy was trying to convince me it was a great idea?

[Yeah]

[sharpes]

Probably relaxing on a beach with the entire Russian gymnastics team.

[You think he's kidding...]

[controlledvariable]

You're not even joking, are you? You're gonna give me a complex.

[It's mostly a joke, but also how can she compete with the entire Russian gymnastics team!!!]

[sharpes]

[He shrugs after a moment, and polishes off that last bit of ice cream. Yeah maybe he's paying more attention to that spoon than he strictly should.]

Yeah, but they were a publicity stunt. I... picked you.

[Well they sort of picked each other but. Semantics.]

[controlledvariable]

Oh. [help what do]

Well, I'd make a terrible publicity stunt anyway. [Yes, she's aware that's not what he meant. She's just going to that whole 'flippant instead of feelings' thing that she does]

[sharpes]

Oh, I don't know. I think you'd do okay.

[So mild.]

[controlledvariable]

What is that supposed to mean, mister? [Is it a compliment or a teasing insult she can't tell]

[sharpes]

It means I wouldn't care. About the-- you know. Fame thing.

[yes it's a compliment, gosh.]

[controlledvariable]

The fame thing. [That's still kind of weird, for the record. She'd kind of stopped dating Tim by the time he was a Wayne.] Would you at least take me to a fancy premiere?

[She's just going to tease him gently]

[sharpes]

Only if I'd starred in it.

[yep.]

[controlledvariable]

Fair. [she sort of - actually thinks about it for a moment. It seems like it might be fun?? If only because it'd be with Brandon.

What the heck.] I think my mom'd kill me if I ended up in the tabloids.

[sharpes]

It's not as bad as you think. Any publicity is good publicity, you know?

[controlledvariable]

I've heard that, not entirely inclined to believe it.

[a beat, and she puts down her bowl so she can rub the back of her neck] I was in the news a little. After.

[She's just going to say "after" and I hope he knows that she means "after I got tortured in a gang war"]

[sharpes]

... Oh. Well.

... Yeah, that's probably bad publicity.

[whoops.]

[controlledvariable]

Sorry. [More awkward-apologetic than anything.] They used one of my crappy school pictures, it was terrible.

[jo...ke...s...]