video;

[bacondivination]

[ The screen seems covered in a strange, shimmering green fire before an image within it appears to show a space on a rooftop. Loki, unsurprisingly, has found a way to cheat the restriction that terminals are stationary. He's magically broadcasting what he's doing before the camera so he has plenty of room to work, and everything is faintly distorted. ]

There, that's a good start. Attention witches, sorcerers, warlocks, and others of general magical ability. There are too many of us to be playing fast and loose with our craft.

[ With a gesture, everything focuses on a pentagram of a few feet in diameter. Ancient Norse runes ring around it, and they carry suggestions of protection and power for those that might have an idea about that kind of thing. ]

This is a basic inverted warding circle. Magics inside it have a Hel of a time getting out unless the lines are disturbed, so it's generally quite useless. If you're going to be doing something experimental, use it or something like it. Chalk out the lines, write the runes anti-clockwise, and play to your heart's content.

[ A pause, and he points to one particular marking. ]

Don't get that one backwards. It will turn the nearest equine creature inside out. I've seen it happen, and it's not pretty.

[ Then he claps his hands briskly, looking pleased with himself. ]

If you don't follow this basic magical etiquette, I will set you aflame in your bed while you sleep and won't care a whit as you burn. So let's all be polite to one another, get along just fine, and not be on fire.

[ Whoops, getting a little dark there. Loki smooths out his expression and shrugs. ]

If you've any questions, just ask a professional. I'll be about once I get elsewhere.

[ The fire vanishes, showing Loki's empty home until he pops up on camera briefly to end the video. ]

Comments

[bacondivination]

But where's the fun in that?

[backinakidflash]

It's in people not getting twitchy around you.

[bacondivination]

Perhaps they should be twitchy. If someone endangers the lives of everyone around them, is it not best to stop them?

[backinakidflash]

It was an accident. We don't set people on fire for accidents, mistakes, or bad decisions. Did you even try to help fix it?

[bacondivination]

[ Cue blank confusion. ]

Why ever would you think I have a problem with Zatanna?

[backinakidflash]

Because a couple days after she has a bibbiti-boobiti-boopsy, you give this whole lecture on magic safety like you're talking to child terrorists?

[bacondivination]

Oh, but that's already over with. She fixed it. We are officially cool, as they say.

[backinakidflash]

... I don't understand why this post exists at all.

[bacondivination]

I just didn't want anyone repeating her mistake. [ He shrugs. ] It seemed a good idea at the time.

[backinakidflash]

Yeah, I get that. But there's nice ways to be all "Hey guys! If you use this sidewalk chalk, everything'll be cool." Like that right there's a pretty good one.

[bacondivination]

You know, in hindsight, that might just be a good point. Sometimes, I forget how sensitive you Midgardian folk are.

[backinakidflash]

Midgard? Woah, way to dig deep. Somebody likes their Germano-Norse mythology. Oooh, are we LARPing? Can I be Odin?

[bacondivination]

Why would anyone want to roleplay as that unlovable old man? Please, do try for some standards. Go for someone interesting, at least, like Loki.

[backinakidflash]

Because he's one of the major players? Associated with victory, battle, wisdom, magic? Gets two cool raven sidekicks? And you think I'd rather be Loki?

[Bart snorts at this.]

One of my favorite hobbies is kicking the tail of a guy who calls himself the Trickster. Pass. How about Njörðr? Actually, nah. There's people here who would fight me for him. Oooh, what about Thor? I do love a good lightning bolt.

[bacondivination]

[ Oh, come on! Thinking a Vanir as a better option? One more people would prefer? That's just dumb. ]

Pfff, none are superior to Asgard's Liesmith, I assure you.

[ He considers this. ]

Well, almost none. Thor, well, I grant is very cool and roughly equal in awesomeness. Go forth and LARP as the Thunder-Bringer. Perhaps you may start by sticking a knife into a plug in the wall.

[backinakidflash]

I suck at lying. I'm OK with that. So. What comes after the knife in the socket?

[If the feed is viewed carefully, and the focus doesn't stay on Bart himself, there is now a metal knife sticking out of a socket in the room behind him.]

[bacondivination]

Ideally? You are then promptly electrocuted.

[ Loki has a sense for detail.

And a great deal of confusion, too. ]

[backinakidflash]

Wow, you sure got that one wrong.

[The lights flicker ominously.]

I should probably get that out before I start an electrical fire.

[bacondivination]

Infallibility was never within my purview. But, hey, we're back around full circle to fire.

[ When?

Why? ]

Odin's bones, what is your deal?

[backinakidflash]

We probably should put a 'don't try this at home' disclaimer on all this. Don't play with fire, kids!

[He's gone and back, now holding a set of rubber-handled pliers that are gripping a rather worse-for-wear knife.]

Dude. Awesome. The metal went black. [He looks back up at the screen.] My deal? What's my which deal?

[bacondivination]

Every deal. All of the deals.

[backinakidflash]

I don't understand the question?

[bacondivination]

[ Loki stares, and shakes his head. ]

You are such a strange creature.

[backinakidflash]

Uh...

[Right back atcha?]

Thanks?

[bacondivination]

You're quite welcome.