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[Encrypted to castmates.]

[Erica doesn't bother with video or audio for this. She doesn't want to encourage conversation in which she has to actually speak and have people hear how she sounds when she does. It may be obvious that she's hiding behind text but considering circumstances, she doubts that anyone will blame her.]

I know what you were all hiding from me now. I'm not mad. I get why you all did it. But I know now so you can all breathe a sigh of relief or whatever. If you have something to say, say it now, but I'm not interested in having any lengthy discussions after this.

[And hopefully they'll understand if she's a bit withdrawn for a while, because as much as her text says that she's not mad, it doesn't mean she's not emotional. It doesn't mean she's done coping with her now acutely uncomfortable sense of mortality.]

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Erica, I'm sorry.

If you mean for not telling me, it's okay. If you mean that it happened...yeah, well, me too.

We kept stuff from Stiles, too. About his dad.

I know. You told me before. He knows now though, doesn't he? Saw someone let something slip.

Yeah. He does. Allison told him. She didn't know. We kept it from you because we didn't think you needed to know. We were protecting you.

It was nice having these few months with you guys and like I said, I get the motivations but...you wouldn't have kept it from me forever, would you? I mean, the Emperor plans on sending everyone home when this whole mess is over. Would you have waited until you all went home to say "By the way Erica, you're dead back home so we're all leaving you here where you can be alive but alone" or something?

I don't know. I honestly don't know.

Yeah. I guess I wouldn't either.

[And that's really all she can think to say without another topic or expansion of their current topic being introduced.]

I thought about telling you. We all did. But, I didn't want to hurt you. Like, needlessly hurt you. It seemed cruel. How do you tell someone they die? And I'm not making excuses.

Edited 2013-11-15 10:18 (UTC)

I get it. I should probably be glad for the time I had before I found out. If it happens again...I don't know. I'd like to say you should set them down and try to break it as gently as possible, but they weren't kidding when they said ignorance is bliss. There's no good outcome already so I guess the only thing you can hope for is that they don't have it dropped on them in some sort of horrible way.

Was this dropped on you in a horrible way?

No. Derek just...told me. Straightforward. Honest.

Are you mad he told you

I don't know. I was at one point, but I couldn't have been in the dark forever. So I guess not. More mad I'm dead.

I don't think any of us are going to breathe a sigh of relief over this.

I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry.

I'd think you'd all at least be glad you don't have to lie anymore. But fine, thanks I guess. I know you all tried at least.

Oh. Yeah, I'm glad about that. I'm not a very good liar anyway. You probably knew something was up.

Derek feels really bad about what happened to you. I think he blames himself.

I've known something was up from day one, Scott. I showed up, you looked like a deer in the headlights, and then disappeared to do what I assume was ask Stiles how much to tell me. I know how Derek feels about this already, though. He's not to blame, this Kali bitch is.

I guess we acted pretty suspiciously...

If a woman shows up here not wearing shoes with clawed feet, it's probably her.

Seriously? Clawed feet? Is that a thing we didn't know would happen with us or is she just special?

Well she attacks with her feet so I guess it saves time having to take her shoes off if they're off all the time...

It's weird. She's weird.

She sounds psychotic.

[And dangerous. And wow Erica is done talking about her killer. The indignity of being taken out by a bad pedicure is just a world of nope for her.]

Anyway, anything else on your mind or are you good?

I don't think there's anything else. Unless there's anything you want to know or ask me?

No, not now anyway. Maybe later if I think of something. Thanks though.

[She doesn't specify for what, hoping he'll get that it's an all-encompassing but generally vague sort of gesture of appreciation.]

Hey... I know we weren't exactly friends back home, but I'd like to get to know you better here. [ Since he won't have the opportunity to do so back home. ]

And if you need anything, you know where to find me.

Yeah, we can do that. That'd be alright.

[It would be nice, but Erica finds it a hard phrase to get out.]

I'll hit up your inbox if I need to reach you, or knock on your tree.]

Cool.

Take care. I'll see you around.

See ya.

I don't expect you to forgive me. And I know I'm the world's biggest hypocrite re: my own future and my dad. And I know you don't want to hear how we were trying to protect you because it's bullshit. But if you want to scream at me and use me as your incredibly breakable punching bag, I'll accept it.

It's bullshit but it gave me a couple more months of being a werewolf and thinking it wasn't going to get me killed.

[She'd thought it was extreme bullshit, yes, she didn't like being kept in the dark, but there was nothing to be done about that now and honestly simply the fact that she was dead back home eclipsed all else.]

Hurting you isn't going to make me feel better, though. This Kali bitch, maybe.

...If Kali ever shows up here, I give you permission to go postal on her sorry, non-pedicured ass. Erica...I'm sorry. I want you to be alive. I want you to be happy. I want you to survive and be yourself, whatever form that is. Okay?

I'd rather have you help hold her down than have your permission.

[Mainly because she doesn't need it :T]

And it's...it is what it is. It's not fine but it's going to have to be. A bit late for me to survive but I'm still me. That's not changing.

Oh, gladly. I'll give her a wolfsbane enema. Honestly, you can survive here. I've already talked to the Emperor. She says that if you want to stay here when we've defeated Mally the Soi-Distant Big Bad, you can. I mean...if you wanted you. It's a shit choice, but at least you'd be alive...

Yeah, I caught that. We survive the Big Bad and I can either go back to being dead or live on Turtle Island.

[She doesn't know what she'd do. Living seems the obvious answer, but at the same time news of her demise hit her hard enough that she's not discounting just letting it all go out of hand.]

Everyone else will go back even if I decide to stay.

Yeah. I know. Maybe...maybe Boyd will show up? Then you two can stay here together.

Yeah, maybe. If not, then that's that. Anyway, I'm not going to be around much for a while. Just wanted to let everyone know the cat's out of the bag.

[So hopefully, no one will be surprised or press for her company when she's obviously dealing with things.]

Yeah, I get it. Listen, if you need anything, I'm here. Don't be a stranger, okay?

Yeah, I know. Thanks. I'll be in touch when I'm in the mood for company again.

[AKA don't call her, she'll call you.]

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