tushanshu | 001 ♋ VIDEO

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[The post begins with a shot of Karkat's grey, frowning face. This is not actually unusual, but lest it be dismissed as no more than his usual expression, there is the tone of his words to follow.]

Guess what! Apparently it's not enough for a guy to to learn one of the friends he hasn't seen in literal years is brainwashed and crazy. Apparently it's not enough to be informed that his Empress--not this "Emperor" here, the actual one from my world--expects him to just bow and scrape and go yes, your Condescension, I'd be happy to serve as your brand spanking new slave. It is not even enough, believe it or not, to be brutally murdered by giant fork by an even crazier broad than your brainwashed friend! Wow, who knew, right?

[He makes an exaggerated roll of his eyes.]

Instead of getting off that easy, nevermind the brief stint of amnesia and all the other chaos going on, I get brought here. Some giant fucking turtle in the middle of whatever planet this is, I don't care, don't even try to tell me because I am fresh out of shits to give. And for some kind of war against this M--

[He throws up his hands.]

Whoops! Can't say the M-name because magic is real and he might come get us. Wow, I am quaking so hard I might just barf up my organs in fear.

But let's stop being retarded for a while, shall we?

[His expression turns more serious, and his arms fold against the desk as he leans in closer.]

Who's here that knows me? Anyone? On my team or not, I want to know, and I want to know promptly. Beyond that, who here has any clue about getting out of this place? I didn't ask those keddy whatevers because obviously I wouldn't have been brought here if the point was just to let me waltz back to where I was. And yeah, yeah, I heard time is stopped there, but do you think I'd be asking this if I cared about that? I have big, important, leaderly business to do, and I cannot summon the electrical impulse to fire the neurons that would make me care about this mandatory break in plans. If you have info, I want to hear it, the end.

[And with that, he ends the video.]

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[She nods, taking what he says about the sylladex at face value. She doesn't ask how he manages to store things on cards because, well, she's from a world of magic so she assumes it's just that. Storage onto cards. genius really, considering they can be slipped anywhere with ease and are light-weight.]

There's a clinic three blocks from where you are, actually. You don't live all that far from me. Here. [Another pinged location.] Do you see? It's right near ah...a noodle restaurant I believe? And an apothecary shop opposite it.

[She pauses a beat.]

Where is it you're from, by the way? Just out of curiosity.

[Technology over magic, actually. Depending on the fetch modus things can be heavy - Karkat's put a hole through his floor thanks to that - but a swap in modus with his friend fixed that problem. It doesn't matter here, though, so he doesn't bring it up.]

It's a good thing I've learned what 'block' means here. Why do humans always call things weird? Blocks are rooms where we come from.

Which, since you asked, is a planet called Alternia. It's in a universe separate from Earth's, for all that didn't stop our Empress from finding one of them. That said, I haven't actually been on Alternia in over three years.

[Different terminology is to be expected, she supposes. Every culture has their own phrases, their own slang. Hadn't Kon taught her that much?]

So this isn't entirely new to you, is it? Being in a world not your own? Where were you before you came here then? Was it like this place? Or that Alternia of yours?

[He waves a hand, dismissive.]

Neither. The whole story is long and ridiculously complicated and more than you probably care about. The short version is that me and a team of eleven others played a game together that put us in a part of reality separate from our universe, with its own planets and other junk. Things went haywire and we wound up stuck in a lab-type facility on a meteor. Things went more haywire, and those of us left wound up sailing through the void on the edges of reality, past tentacled horrorterrors and passing through the mixed dream bullshit-slash-afterlife also contained in that space.

This is nothing next to that. Not even the whole living on the back of a giant turtle means anything; back in that game, we bred a frog that was literally a universe.

Edited 2013-12-05 06:17 (UTC)

[The more she meets people, the more she gets to know them and what they've been through before her, the more she realizes that she is far more out of her depth with this world than they are. Deities know why the Emperor saw fit to bring her to Keeliai to be anything other than cannon fodder when push comes to shove.

Don't mind that her jaw drops a little bit.]

You're serious? That's incredible--I mean really, what kind of game plays with such high stakes? Did you know that when you started it?

That game, apparently, for reasons I don't know. But yes, I am serious, and no I didn't know that when I started. Hardly any of us did, and by the time we realized it was too late to stop. Even if we had, the only thing that would have happened is a doomed timeline where we all wound up dying anyway.

[Timeline mechanics. So much fun. He sighs.]

Tell me about your world instead. Is it saner?

[Oh no, Karkat. You've done it now. You've asked Bryn about her world. There is a distinct chance she may talk too much about it. So sorry.]

I think so, but then I'll admit at the outset that I am entirely biased.

[Smiling, she shrugs.]

In a nutshell, I'm from Askoupur. Less technologically advanced. Differently. Magic is commonplace. Our deities live among us, establish bonds with people and in exchange give them gift of power. We've got a few major cultures I can tell you about, places and things but...depends on what sorts of things you want to know about.

[Karkat raises an eyebrow at one particular mention from that explanation.]

Deities? As in actual, real, living gods, physically present and not fake?

Mhmm.

[She grins a bit more broadly now.]

Been with us over five hundred years now. Well, the original twelve. There are others, not as powerful, who have joined over the centuries. The original twelve have been with us from the start though. Mine, Jhirem, is one of them. Excellent dinner guest and makes a hell of a mixed drink at parties.

[Yep. Some of them are like that.]

And you're positive they're gods? Not just long-lived people with fancier powers than you?

[Can you tell he doesn't really buy into the whole god business?]

One hundred percent certain. Deities from our world...they're initially formed by the will of the people. I mean, that's the only way they come into being. They manifest from prayers and errant thoughts and...well, once they're around, the people see them and they grow.

[Bryn shrugs. It's perfectly normal where she's from.]

Okay, your universe is officially weird as shit. And yet, for once, religion makes some amount of sense. At least you know your gods literally exist, instead of some magical sky concepts you throw glitter in your faces about.

[Don't ask.]

You said magic's a thing there too?

[He's not as weirded out by that.]

Absolutely. Can't do any of it myself, at least, not exactly, but it's very much a real thing. The Asarians in particular have certain methods and schools of magic that have been passed down generation to generation, some tied to their clans and others more widespread.

[She smiles, speaking easily of it.]

The deities have their own power of course, and then there's the magic that the Gifted have that's given to them. It's part of our everyday life, basically. Is there magic in your world?

What are Asarians?

[Because he has definitely never heard of them. The other concepts are easier to follow.]

Not natively? It's not a normal thing, but it happens sometimes through other stuff, I guess? One of my douchebag teammates has a wand, and then one of the humans from the universe created also used magic, but magic users aren't an established, extant thing in either of our societies. Trolls do often have psychic abilities of one form or another, though they vary and not everyone has them. Me, I've got nothing.

[She might say she's sorry to hear he doesn't have psychic abilities, but he hasn't indicated whether or not it's a good thing, or more importantly whether or not it matters to him.

So for now, she just nods with understanding.]

I see. Well, Asarians are one of three races we have in our country. Centuries ago our three provinces were kingdoms in themselves. Asaria, Aspurra, and Kouhyar, with of course Asarians, Aspurrans, and Kouhyarans. The Asarians are known most for their magic. There are Kouhyarans and Aspurrans who can do magic but...Kouhyarans learn the magic of Asarians and most Aspurrans tend to disdain it entirely.

[She shrugs, then her brows furrow.]

Is there a country in your world called Douchebag? I don't think I've heard of it before...

[Race is a weird human thing he doesn't much care about. He's heard the concept in movies he's seen, but never cared much for the details, and largely handwaved it away as 'weird culture stuff'. Trolls are trolls, pretty much. They have their geographic associations, but that's a bit different.]

[More importantly.]

What?

[He is now gawking openly with eyes wide.]

How do you not know what a douchebag is?

[Bryn blinks at his reaction.]

Well they don't exist in my world, whoever they are. I mean, you did catch that I'm not from the same world as most people here, right? Everyone seems to be from some...Earth-based world but Askoupur as far as I can tell doesn't have any other Douchebag people like your teammate is.

[Yes, it's getting a capital D because well. She was talking about Asarian magic users. Then he said douchebag teammate and she assumed he was talking about a race of people. Whoops.]

Or I'm sorry, is that the designation for the trolls who have abilities? I assumed you were talking about people of a culture or particular race...

[He just... he cannot even. He has lost his ability to can. His head tips forward as she goes on, his hand comes up to cradle in his face, and by the end he is snickering helplessly into his palm.]

Jegus--

[His tone is rough, jumbled with laughter.]

You really don't know. Oh my god.

[He laughs even harder for a moment. Look at that pinkness welling up by his eyes: he's been brought to freaky troll tears of mirth.]

No, it's--it's not a designation--pfft. It's--

[Okay give him a minute while he gathers himself. This is just so hilarious. He doesn't laugh a whole lot, but it does come out when appropriate, and how could this be anything but?]

It's--okay, okay--it's a word for assholes. For idiotic tools who don't know how stupid they sound, who listen to the crap spewing out their word tunnels and think it sounds like genius. For the jerkasses oblivious to their own encompassing awfulness. There are many of them, so many I wish they had been confined to a specific geologic point of origin, but no. Anyone from anywhere, with or without powers, can and potentially will be a douchebag.

It's an insult. You follow me now?

[For a minute she thinks that perhaps she's sent him into a fit and is genuinely concerned that he's choking on something, right up until she gets that he's actually laughing.

She's sitting there with an eyebrow raised so high that all she can do is wait until he gets hold of himself enough to explain.]

Hard not to with an explanation like that.

Good.

[One more snort, but okay, he's got a hold of himself now. He straightens up a bit more.]

Anyway, about the whole magic thing - what can people do with it in your world? It's a pretty wide topic just to say "magic" and leave it there.

Mm, that's because there's a lot of different kinds of magic we have in our world. The Asarians alone have...countless methods and styles. Magic with chants and rituals, symbols, wands, stones and plants, interpretive dance, tattoos, you name it.

[She grins.]

Then there's those of us with powers granted by the deities. We're called Gifted, and our single ability is called a deity gift. Those vary depending on the deity who gave it, the person who received it, and so forth.

And really that's just a start for Askoupur. Our neighbors, the Iramakat, have an entirely different flavor of magic, by all accounts. Haven't met any of them myself, just have the one gift myself, so really that's all I could tell you.

The only kinds I've seen are the big flashy kind with wands. So that? Entirely foreign to me. Deity gifts aren't a thing, either, considering gods are the fakest thing around, apart from god tiers which are more a game mechanic than literal holy beings made manifest.

What's this gift you have?

Mm, well my deity gift is...really a lot more fun for me to explain by showing. Think you'd be interested in stopping by the BT sometime?

[She enjoys seeing the looks on people's faces when she does it. Most of the time it's pretty entertaining when she does it around people who aren't from Askoupur.]

[He rolls his eyes, a little exasperated at the insistence on a direct demonstration, but not outright annoyed by it.]

Yeah, sure. You already gave me the directions, so I'll stop by sometime and you can do... [A vague hand motion.] ... whatever it is.

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