bro strider (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
puppetfetish) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tushanshu2013-12-12 11:38 pm
puppetfetish) wrote in tushanshu2013-12-12 11:38 pm
2 ϟ video .
[ While other people are out and about in the snow, this certain Texan is staying indoors as much as possible.
Hey turtle-crew. Here is mysterious text guy that has been bothering you over the past week or so. Looks like he's climbed out of his shell and onto video, though it isn't his preferred method (in actuality, Bro prefers to be the person behind the camera... but that's another story.) The dude is tall, and his flaxen hair is spiked high. It typically is covered by a hat, but this evening, it seems he's going without. He's also wearing a black undershirt with black slacks, sculpted muscles rippling with his movement. ]
Hey.
[ So what could this six-foot-something-tall, beef-cake guy want? The way he was stoically looking at the camera was a bit intimidating, umber colored eyes hidden by a pair of pointed shades. Behind him in his suite there seems to be a mess of all sorts of fabrics and materials he has obtained, along with a stray sewing machine.
He looks off to the side for a moment, lacking any expression, then turns his attention back to the feed. ]
I'm selling handmade cute shit.
Come and get it.
[ .... Okay? Not what you'd expect from a guy with his looks and physique, also not the greatest sales pitch, but maybe you ought to inquire further. ]
Also taking commissions.
Bitches love commissions.
[ /end feed right there. ]
Hey turtle-crew. Here is mysterious text guy that has been bothering you over the past week or so. Looks like he's climbed out of his shell and onto video, though it isn't his preferred method (in actuality, Bro prefers to be the person behind the camera... but that's another story.) The dude is tall, and his flaxen hair is spiked high. It typically is covered by a hat, but this evening, it seems he's going without. He's also wearing a black undershirt with black slacks, sculpted muscles rippling with his movement. ]
Hey.
[ So what could this six-foot-something-tall, beef-cake guy want? The way he was stoically looking at the camera was a bit intimidating, umber colored eyes hidden by a pair of pointed shades. Behind him in his suite there seems to be a mess of all sorts of fabrics and materials he has obtained, along with a stray sewing machine.
He looks off to the side for a moment, lacking any expression, then turns his attention back to the feed. ]
I'm selling handmade cute shit.
Come and get it.
[ .... Okay? Not what you'd expect from a guy with his looks and physique, also not the greatest sales pitch, but maybe you ought to inquire further. ]
Also taking commissions.
Bitches love commissions.
[ /end feed right there. ]
video;
[He's glaring a bit as he replies.]
Is this the misspelled "thing" you were working on? Quote-unquote "cute shit"? Let me guess, you're doing it for the ironies.
[Look at those enclosure talons his hands are making.]
1.2
2.2
no subject
Fuck me with a culling fork!
If this isn't the thing, then what is? And what is this shit? And why cute stuff? Is there any point in asking at all, or am I just flapping my word shutters in the breeze, babbling nonsense to the wind itself as it carries these bundles of sound and fury into the endless void of existence?
1.2
Must be characteristic of knight players to be rambling and adorable as fuck.
2.2
As for cute shit, everybody loves cute shit.
It's so I can make income here, yo.
no subject
Great, and now you have to emasculate me. "Adorable", wow, what a grand compliment to a member of a species that values itself on being fierce, vicious warriors. It's a wonder I survived six sweeps on my planet when I am apparently a bundle of precious wonder and joy.
[He flutters his fingers with the last statement, obviously mocking.]
I defy you: I do not love cute shit. What does cute shit refer to in this scenario, anyway? What is encompassed under the spanning umbrella of what you're willing to make for money? Wait, no, let me guess - the stupider it is, the closer to the central upholding pole.
no subject
[ A pause. ]
Yeah, well. You'd be surprised what some people buy— can literally make people almost anything though.
I started with the most important things.
Like cute shit.
no subject
"Almost anything" my ashy grey ass. Again you fail to impart any true understanding or explanation of what the hell you mean. What cute shit? What apart from my rage-stricken visage does a grown human male categorize under the heading of "cute"?
no subject
[ God, this guy is the easiest thing to harass. ]
no subject
Fine. Where are you?
no subject
Shit, man. I should have straighten out my room and made some goddamn pastries. Dunno if you guys like tea parties or not.
[ Bro, what the fuck.
He gives the instructions to where he's located in the Metal Sector. ]
no subject
[He does like pastries but that's beside the point.]
no subject
Guess this means you'll still have to wait to see the thing.
no subject
You grubfucker.
[Huff.]
I'll be on my way.
[Which is when he disconnects to head over.]
no subject
action;
[Knock knock, Strider. There is a grump at your door.]
perma action.
nobody is there.
There is just something echoing inside of the suite. ]
hee hee hoo hoo.
no subject
[Onto nothing.]
[But not without sound. Karkat's eyes squint dubiously at the echoing laugh, because what kind of douchebag laughs like that? This is some tool thinking he's clever, that he can get the best of him through pseudo-creepy bullshit. He'll have none of it.]
HEY, CAPTAIN BULGEREEK!
[He storms on in, feet stomping as his grey hands curl up into fists, elbows out and shoulders hunched.]
Either haul your oh-so-hilarious ass out here for an honest fucking conversation, or I swear to the gods of your primitive species - that is, my fucking team - that I will demolish your shit until I stand in a heap of rubble. I have a chair in my sylladex, and don't you think for one sweet moment that it is not ready and raring to make the sacrifice I'd require of it for busting your hive!
[It is an empty threat. He would not break his things. But sometimes, sometimes, you just gotta yell a lot to get some jerk to comply with sensible action.]
no subject
[ There's a tap on Karkat's shoulder and there he is— suddenly right behind him, still in all black and missing his hat. He instantly begins to get a good look at Karkat because even though he's talked with Eridan more, he still hasn't seen Eridan in person.
What a funky looking kind of species.
He stuffs the end of his fingers in his pockets. ]
Disappointed I flaked on the promised tea party?
[ Bro's a little disappointed in himself, honestly. ]
no subject
[Oh. It's Bro, who really only just tapped him, and where the heck did he come from, anyway? After returning his sickle to his strife deck - he just kind of pulled it on reflex - he straightens up.]
First off: do not fucking do that. You realize trolls are more violent than humans, right? We don't react well to shit like that. Second: where were you that you could just pop out like that? Because I sure didn't see you when I came in.
Third: choke on your own tongue. I told you I don't do tea parties.
no subject
[ Bro waves his hands in a fluid motion, stoic as usual, then stuffs his hands in his pockets. He rolls back and forth on his heels. ]
So.
You ready to see the thing.
no subject
[He sighs.]
Yes, I am ready to see the thing. What is it?
no subject
However, he opens up a storage closet and reaches up on the shelf to pull out something oh so familiar.
Looks like he's been working on Lil Cal, version 2.
He looks precisely like the other with a wooden marionette head, missing an eye and halfway painted. Two of his fabric limbs are missing, but it's definitely Cal. Maybe not out of the same materials or as bright as the other Cal. ]
Gettin' my juju back.
[ He turns and holds Cal close to him. ]
Not quite the real deal, but a replica.
I know he'll come back one day, but I need a substitute.
[ That's just a little unnerving. ]
no subject
[And he]
[pulls out]
[this]
[thing.]
[He's seen it before, that horrible, godawful doll, and it's even more horrifying incomplete and in person. He actually recoils, taking a step or two back and lifting hands up in front of him, as if ready to fend the thing off.]
What the nauseating bullfuckery is that abomination unto existence? Why? Are you actually hugging that thing against you? Is that what you're doing? Is this some tender union between freaky grown man and even freakier ersatz doll I'm witnessing?