tushanshu | AUDIO; from a cafe; post-bottle

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AUDIO; from a cafe; post-bottle

[Peter's not quite in the right place, mentally, to put up a video post. And he definitely isn't sure he should put it up from his own suite. So he's found his way to the nearest cafe, with an oversized hoodie pulled up over his head, and is starting up only an audio feed.]

Never a boring moment around here, is there? One minute we're normal-ish, celebrating Valentine's Day, and the next we're battling evil miasma inside a magic bottle.

Does anyone ever wonder what happened to the idea of rest and relaxation?

[FILTERED to the Spider-family]

...Sorry. About what happened back there. You-- You guys know that that-- That wasn't me. You know that, right...?

Oh, God... [There's a sigh, and then a beat of silence before he continues.] Anyway, just- I'm sorry.

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Maybe when yellow was still a weakness.

[SNERK.]

Aha. You, sir, have made a fatal error in telling me that.

[No you haven't. What would Peter even do with this information?]

Yeah? What're you gonna do, try at drench me with yellow during paintball?

I was thinking more along the lines of always wearing yellow clothes around you.

[...]

[...............]

At least you'll be easy to spot.

Just look for the giant banana?

Your new codename. Mr. Banana.

That's Mr. Giant Banana to you.

Mr. Giant Banana.

See? I'm terrified of you already.

Rightfully so. I'm terrifying.

Oh no whatever shall I do when you actually appear in front of me!

Cowering in fear's a good start.

[Kyle laughs, for a while.]

Oh man, I can't even keep a straight face. Gotta warn you though, GLs are fearless.

[Peter's grinning on his end, and it's audible in his voice.]

Oh. Well, there goes that plan. Do I at least get some cowering?

All right, but only because you asked nicely. How long should I cower, O Giant Banana?

For as long as it takes to say "You have defeated me, O Mr. Giant Banana. Please show me your benevolence and have mercy!"

[More laughter.]

Then I buy you ice cream?

Or pizza. I'm not picky.

Pizza it is.

Any allergies or religious restrictions I should know about?

None. Bring on the cheese and bring on the meat.

Will get it to you after the requisite cowering, sir.

[In his best Mr. Burns impersonation--]

Excellent.

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