AUDIO; from a cafe; post-bottle

[nerdylilspidey]

 [Peter's not quite in the right place, mentally, to put up a video post. And he definitely isn't sure he should put it up from his own suite. So he's found his way to the nearest cafe, with an oversized hoodie pulled up over his head, and is starting up only an audio feed.]

Never a boring moment around here, is there? One minute we're normal-ish, celebrating Valentine's Day, and the next we're battling evil miasma inside a magic bottle.

Does anyone ever wonder what happened to the idea of rest and relaxation?


[FILTERED to the Spider-family]

...Sorry. About what happened back there. You-- You guys know that that-- That wasn't me. You know that, right...?

Oh, God... [There's a sigh, and then a beat of silence before he continues.] Anyway, just- I'm sorry.

Comments

[spideyfanone]

The magical people who live on a turtle were feeling overwhelmed by the presence of not-voldemort and snatched a totally random assortment of weirdos out of all corners of the multiverse to solve their problems for them. That doesn't make sense to you?

[nerdylilspidey]

Well, when you put it that way...

[spideyfanone]

I take comfort in the fact that so far, cause and effect and the laws of physics seem to be the default.

[nerdylilspidey]

That seems to be the only things that still work universally.

[spideyfanone]

Enough magic and physics gets wobbly. Really wish I'd had time to get a sense of how that was actually working...

[nerdylilspidey]

You don't have time now?

[spideyfanone]

Oh, there was this thing in one world where we didn't spend much time and most of that time was getting attacked by orcs, but the witch-king had this deal where technology didn't work, but only, like, complex technology? Simple machines were still doing their thing, and gravity, so I really wanted to know what the cutoff was. Here is probably interesting too, though.

[nerdylilspidey]

[There's a beat of silence while Peter lets all this sink in.]

You've clearly led a much more interesting life than I have.

[spideyfanone]

Eh, probably not worth it, but the stories are really cool. Like disguising some of the team as orcs. Probably the funniest thing that's ever happened in any universe.

[nerdylilspidey]

Wait wait-- I need to let that mental image really sink in.

[spideyfanone]

We used the huge hairy guys, so it wasn't that big a stretch. Which itself is one of about seven million layers of funny.

[nerdylilspidey]

If only you had pictures.

[spideyfanone]

No tech, no camera sophisticated enough to actually record anything. I'll just have to always treasure the memory of the son of Zeus and a short Canadian in smelly leather that we stole.

[nerdylilspidey]

I'll just have to try to imagine...

Wait- Son of Zeus?

[spideyfanone]

Yeah, Hercules. Is he weird? I've met more than one of him so I just figured people were probably used to him in most worlds.

[nerdylilspidey]

I... wouldn't know. I've only ever read about him before.

[spideyfanone]

It seems significantly less weird than Thor. I mean, at least Herc was half human.

[Was. Oops. Redirect.]

And, y'know, superstrength is a pretty easy one to get your head around.

[nerdylilspidey]

Oh... Yeah, I guess that's true. The flying and the lightning and stuff, that's- yeah, a little more complicated, huh?

[spideyfanone]

Well, yeah, that, but Greek mythology is all about the human condition and junk like that and Norse stuff always seems like it's just personifying the weather, so it feels weirder that that one's real?

[nerdylilspidey]

Which is weird when you think about it. I mean, there are mutants that can do similar stuff. So really we should be calling you guys gods, too.

[spideyfanone]

Maybe it's the immortal thing? After we got the gods in that one world de-brain-controlled they offered to godify us, and one of the team took them up on it. ...Which was really kind of uncomfortable, but does indicate there's a process.

[nerdylilspidey]

... Huh. I guess so.

Crazy.

[spideyfanone]

Thought so at the time, but relatively speaking... Meh. Miz Frost-Summers is probably really good at being a goddess.

[nerdylilspidey]

Who?

--Not that it's any of my business, just... Just wondering.

[spideyfanone]

Um... she has a double around here somewhere that just goes by Emma Frost? Which is weird to get used to. Spooky, intimidating, kind of... evil British schoolmarm but with an S&M-inspired wardrobe? Mutant, psychic and can grow diamond armor.