tushanshu | [video]

[A dark-haired kid who seems to be in his late teens appears on screen. He smiles, but it looks a bit forced.]

Hey. Tony Stark. [He gives a small wave.] I just... got here, I guess, and got the rundown on the whole scary death chaos monster situation. And all the giant magic turtle stuff. Sounds like a good time. [He laughs awkwardly, and rubs the back of his neck.] Better than centipede monster void dimensions, at least, [he mutters. This is not the first time he’s been suddenly yanked into a different dimension, evidently.]

Anyway, uh, if anyone needs some tech stuff or heavy lifting done, hit me up. I haven’t had a chance to take a close look at the tech here yet, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out. [He seems to brighten a little at the prospect of new alien technology to play with.

He looks like he’s about to cut the feed, but then he hesitates. There’s a couple seconds of anxious silence, and he fidgets, his cheerful demeanor faltering even more.] And, um, just out of curiosity... When they send us back home, there’s... There is something to go back to, isn’t there? [He laughs, but it’s nervous, like he’s not sure he wants to know the answer.] Nobody would really give me a straight answer, but... They’re not going to send us back if we’re just about to... Well, you know, get blown up or something. Right? I mean, that would be pretty messed up.

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I'm pretty sure I'd be terrible in the suit? But that doesn't make you right. It just means I don't have any experience where, yeah, I really hope you have some.

I'm not- [She sighs.] I don't mean to say you should never use your suit or that you're going around lighting people on fire. My point was just to.. I don't know, be more careful about what you say. There are a lot of superheroes here and most of them are responsible for good people dying. The last thing we need is more death.

Thanks, Miss Manners, I'll be sure to submit all my jokes for your approval in the future. But while we're at it, maybe you could cool it on the alcoholism cracks. [Hey, he was going to let it go. But if she's gonna call him out, he's going to return the favor.

This conversation took a quick u-turn into pretty heavy territory, though, so he tries to settle his ruffled feathers.] Sorry. I wasn't... I've never been in a real war before. [He shakes his head.] This place is really messed up.

Okay. [She agrees. Because really, he has a point and it doesn't hurt her any to stop. Of course, she's not too fussed about changing her mind later either.]

I would say you get used to it? But you really don't.

[A beat.] And it's Miss Stark, by the way. No relation. Obviously. Although you could call me Hayley if you're feeling less angry and insulting.

More Starks, huh? Maybe this emperor guy just likes the name. Well, Miss Stark, thanks for the heads up. I promise, I'll try really hard not to vaporize any hot dog vendors while I'm here. [His tone is not exactly friendly, but it isn't outright sarcastic, either. He's not conceding the point, but he'll accept an amicable cease-fire for now.]

Thanks, Mr Stark.

[She sighs a little, knowing he's making an effort.] If you want to show up to Stark Industries this afternoon, I'll give you a tour, okay? We can find you a lab and all I ask in return? No experimenting on animals, no experimenting on people without their consent, and try to lighten up.

Holy shit, what kind of mad scientist do I look like?

[Animal and human experimentation?! For fuck's sake, he's an engineer! The only human he experiments on is himself, when he's testing the suits -- which is stupid, but not, you know, unethical.]

Please tell me you're not including that condition because of something one of the other Tonys did. [Because if so, again: what the hell, older alternate universe selves.]

You're the one who was talking about super soldier serums, remember? None of the other Tonys injected anyone with anything that I know about.

Yeah, that I used on myself, once, so I wouldn't die. I wasn't even the one who developed it! But okay. [He raises his hands in surrender.] Terms accepted. Yikes.

Who developed it then?

Like I said, SHIELD did. And in case it wasn't clear, I don't work for them. [He sounds annoyed, but not at Hayley. Iron Man's relationship with SHIELD is... complicated.] The guy who runs it doesn't like me very much.

Then why are you so defensive about it?

Because you're so on my case about it?

Because it's creepy and weird!

Well, sorry I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in a hospital bed? I guess I got used to "creepy and weird" experimental technology since experimental technology was the only thing keeping me alive in the first place.

I'm glad you're not in a hospital bed, but you can't seriously say that some magical shot that made you all better isn't totally weird.

Wouldn't know it from the way you've been acting, [Tony mutters under his breath.]

So what? If creepy and weird is what it takes to keep me alive and in the game, fine. It's not like I'm not used to being the weird one anyway, [he says, scowling.

(Hey, you try being a recently-orphaned homeschooled kid entering high school for the first time ever. That shit's brutal.)]

That whole obsession with survival thing can lead to a lot of dark places, you know? A serum here, some organ theft there.. It's a slippery slope.

[...And here we are back at the freaky mad science stuff again.] Okay, now that is seriously creepy. Where the heck are you from, anyway? Is organ-stealing and human experimentation a popular pastime in your universe or something?

It's not popular, but it happens. Along with sex trafficking and slave rings and a lot of other awful, terrible things that no one should ever have to go through.

[With that, it finally clicks for Tony that this kind of stuff may be something Hayley has personal experience with. That would explain how dogged she's being. That would also make Tony a huge asshole right now. Nice. Nicely done, supergenius.]

I... Sorry. I guess I... don't usually see... that side of things, [he admits, looking properly chastened.] I just fight the guys in power armor. The police are the ones who deal with that kind of stuff. But I swear, I'd never do anything like that. I'd never hurt innocent people to save my own life. My dad always says we should use technology to help people, and that's all I want to do. I took Extremis so I could keep doing that. Not just to save myself.

[It's one of the few times a so-called superhero has backed down and apologized in regards to the larger issues and not being perfect. Hayley doesn't let her surprise show, but the venom in her words disappears.]

I hope you really believe that. [She replies softly.] Maybe you can do some good here.

[(He may be an obnoxious, arrogant teenage boy, but he is used to having Rhodey call him on his bullshit. So this experience isn't entirely unfamiliar.)]

I hope I can, [he says seriously.] I'll do my best.

[Her eyes barely narrow in judgment before she shrugs, then clicks off the feed.]

[video]

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forever late due to hiatus; feel free to drop

I will backtag into infinity

Re: I will backtag into infinity

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Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man

<3

I'm still laughing about that subject line. I'M HILARIOUS

All my lulz are belong to you

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she wrung an honest-to-god apology out of him, it's a Christmas miracle

this is why we can't have nice things

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