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[The look she gives Yelena is something of understanding.]

I know. Nobody even really likes to talk about the bad. I offered. I'll still listen. I've got some experience in bad stories.

[She's heard the stories of so many kids who came to Camp Half-Blood, and very few of those were happy stories, either. Yelena's might not be on the same level - and she has her suspicions - but Annabeth will help, as she always tries to do.]

[Yelena goes quiet for a long while, considering what she'd want to say, where she'd even start...]

I think I told you once that I grew up in an orphanage?

[Yelena's fairly certain...]

Well. I did. It was run by General Brazell, the man in charge of MI-5. To everyone he seemed kind. The other generals would make jokes about it, as if he'd gone soft or something. It wasn't bad at the orphanage for the most part. There were lots of us there, but he made sure we were all well educated and taken care of.

When I was sixteen Brazell approached me and asked if I'd help with his experiments and of course I said yes. Why wouldn't I? I was grateful for everything he'd done for me...

[And this wouldn't be the first time she'd trust someone she shouldn't have.]

The experiments weren't all they were cracked up to be. They separated me from the rest of the orphans and--

[Yelena stopped, taking a breath. This was the hard part, and getting the words out was incredibly difficult. No one in Ixia would have believed her, and while Annabeth had no reason to not believe her it didn't make it any easier to say what had happened.]

[An impassive, attentive audience is Annabeth's first goal when Yelena starts talking, but as she goes on, her lips curl into a frown. She thinks back on what Yelena's said before, connects it to what she's saying now, but she stops. Holds back in trying to preemptively calculate. This is something Yelena needs to share for herself.]

Your trust was broken.

[An understatement, but something of a transition, a gentle nudge that she can take her time and keep talking as long as she needs to. Given how Yelena is, and what Annabeth is coming to learn, it's an easy conclusion to make.]

[She gives a harsh laugh and looks away.]

That's one way to put it. They experimented on me.

[The words come out in a rush because she doesn't want to linger on them, doesn't want to make it seem the big fuss that, well, the big fuss that it honestly is.]

They kept me from the others. And they did things. I remember one time they tied me up and held a torch near my face. Told me to put it out or they'd set me on fire. I kept blowing on it, didn't understand what more he wanted of me... [Yelena swallowed.] It was like this for months until the Fire Festival. I'm an acrobat, you know.

[She looks up then, offers Annabeth a wan smile.]

Brazell fostered our talents. Let us practice and get better, let us compete during the festival. I kept ranking higher year after year and...I wanted to compete. So stupid, I wanted to compete even when they told me I couldn't. I sneaked out for the festival anyway and I competed, I even won. Best of everyone there and it should have been the best moment of my life. I thought I'd get away with it but Reyad was there. Brazell's son? He saw.

Reyad, he--he was always there during the experiments. There was always something in his eyes, something he kept restrained. Sometimes he'd oversee the experiments. He and Mogkan, without Brazell. He...he'd make me strip down and chain me up. Tell me to do flip after flip and if I did, he'd just watch. He'd watch and he'd make me do flips for hours but he wouldn't do anything else. I think he wanted to, waited for me to slip up so he could have the excuse but he didn't.

Brazell had purpose but Reyad, he just wanted to enjoy himself. And when he saw me at the festival, he smiled. When I got back, Brazell decided he was done with me. That whatever he wanted, I couldn't give it to him. So Brazell gave me to Reyad.

[Yelena stops and takes a deep, shuddering breath. She looks at Annabeth, pale, haunted.]

I can stop now if you want. You don't have to listen to this. It just gets worse from here.

[As the story goes on, Annabeth's frown deepens and she gets angrier and angrier. Her hands ball into tight fists, but she doesn't interrupt. Letting Yelena speak feels important. She knows it's important.]

No. You don't have to. It's okay. Only stop when you want to.

[She'll hear it all out.]

Edited 2012-11-13 05:46 (UTC)

[She doesn't want to talk about this, doesn't want to voice it aloud, but now that she's gotten started she can't really stop. She won't let herself stop now.]

The short of it is that Reyad didnt have any reason to hold back. He had this journal, a list of "slights" I'd made against him. Looking at him defiantly. Imagined disrespect. And he said he was going to punish me for every one and he did. He hurt me, and then he...

[Yelena hesitates over this word. Her lips curl with distaste as she struggles with it. It's an awful word, one that is both accurate and fails to encompass everything that happened to her. Her tone gets clipped as she continues.]

He raped me. And when he said that he was going to start with one of the girls who I considered sisters, I snapped. I grabbed the knife I'd been keeping under my pillow and I killed him.

[She looks up then, expression showing how haunted she is by all of this, and then offers Annabeth a wry smile.]

In Ixia the punishment for killing another person, on purpose, by accident, or in self-defense, is execution. I killed the son of a general and even if I tried to tell everyone why I did it or what really happened, not only would no one believe me over Brazell, but it wouldn't make a difference.

They threw me in a dungeon for almost a year until the Commander needed a new poison taster. Valek, his right-hand man, followed the laws and offered the position to the next prisoner in line due for execution, someone whose life was already forfeit.

[This part is easier to talk about, and it shows, honestly. Yelena runs a hand through her hair.]

So I learned from Valek, the Commander's chief assassin. Learned by seeing, smelling, and trying every poison, and all of the antidotes. And the only reason they didn't keep me in chains the whole time is because Valek poisoned me with something called Butterfly's Dust. I'd be fine as long as I got the daily antidote. It was how they kept me in line.

[Her lips form a thin line, and Yelena looks up at Annabeth again.]

That's why I was in the palace for a few days. They didn't have the antidote here, just something that worked sort of. It was the Emperor's people that came up with a permanent cure, thank god, or I wouldn't be here now.

[Annabeth is really bad at physical affection with people who are not Percy. Hugs are hard. Despite that, she wants to hug Yelena now, and she starts moving to do just that, but she's not sure how the other girl would take the physical contact at the moment. Or ever, really. So she pauses, one hand slightly raised, and decides to gently rest it on her friend's lower arm.]

I don't blame you. For killing him. [And she can say it because she means it. She's never killed a person - only monsters and the stuff of myths. But with Yelena's story, she absolutely cannot disagree or think it was the wrong choice to make. She considers that she'd probably do the same. The harsh punishments remind her of some of the things she's learned about antiquity, when the gods were young.]

[But she listens to it all, carefully and attentively, taking everything in. Poison tasting. Annabeth's memory pulls up all the images of Yelena eating her food, things that she noted but never really addressed before, and it fits right in, makes more sense.]

I remember that. I'm glad you got it cured.

[An apology? For what? Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't seem fitting right now. Annabeth's pretty sure the best thing she can do right now is just be an ear. Support Yelena. And that she can do.]

Edited 2012-11-21 03:58 (UTC)

[Yelena doesn't flinch at the touch to her arm. Rather, she almost leans into it. She'd take a hug if offered but she and Annabeth are not particularly physically affectionate in general.

As it is, it means so much more to hear Annabeth say she doesn't blame her for killing Reyad. No judgment, no persecution. With a deep breath, she reaches her free hand over and sets it over her friend's.]

Me too. The effects of Butterfly's Dust are supposed to be...excruciating.

[She takes a deep breath and offers Annabeth a wry smile.]

And now you know most everything I've been keeping to myself.

[There's still the magic thing to bring up, life as a poison taster, the First Magician Irys...Rand and Margg, but they don't affect her directly here.]

Enough that if you have questions you've been holding back [like Yelena does for her sometimes] you can ask them now.

[Annabeth's glad the gesture isn't unwelcome, glad Yelena didn't flinch away. She rests her other hand atop Yelena's lightly.]

[She has several questions, she always does, but she doesn't want to bombard her friend with them, not right now. Not when she's still angered herself by the story, that all of this happened to Yelena.]

I always have questions. [Though true, it's said a little lightly, a callback to the fact that she really does, in hopes of not letting Yelena simmer forever in the dark emotional place she undoubtedly is in.]

How long were you a poison tester? [It's an easy start, she hopes.]

[It's an easier thing to talk about. Yelena can manage some level of detachment when thinking about her work with Valek.]

Months? Nearly a year but not quite.

[She smiles a bit.]

I spent some weeks training before Valek had me taste any of the Commander's meals, but once I did I was there to check everything before he ate.

[She draws in a deep breath, silently.]

A few months is still a bit of time. [Especially in a dangerous job like poison testing. Especially since Yelena didn't deserve that, didn't deserve any of it.]

Though I guess the job fits in with the Commander's paranoia. [From all Annabeth has heard about said Commander before.]

It does indeed. Valek was the Commander's head poisoner, so it stands to reason they'd be worried about someone turning the same tool against him.

[She sighs, rubs a hand over her eyes.]

So now you know. More or less the whole of everything.

[There's an implied "Why I am the way I am" to her tone.]

[The more she hears about Yelena's world, the more she hears about Yelena's past, the more it really does explain how Yelena came to be the person she is. Environment always has an impact.]

I'm glad you were able to tell me. [Because she knows how hard it must have been for her friend to reveal all that she had. Beyond just having a secretive nature. And she could say "gee thanks for sharing!" but it feels cheap, somehow. Annabeth just wants Yelena to know she'll be there if she needs her.]

[Yelena just nods and takes a deep breath.]

At least, now that you know, I don't have to hide anything more and...well, if you want I can teach you some of what I know. We've been teaching each other our different fighting techniques and...poison tasting is dangerous but I can teach you as much as you might want, with as much or little risk as you're willing to take.

I... I would like that. [Because it's Annabeth, and if she can learn something, she will. She's been poisoned before, admittedly via stab wound rather than edible substances, and though she's ill likely to die from ingesting something compared to in battle, it's still potentially... useful.] But only if you're definitely willing.

[Yelena manages a smile at Annabeth, the first real one, the first warm one all day.]

You're my friend, and it's better you know than not. I can't teach you about the poisons native to Ixia, but I can gather the poisons here and the antidotes. I can teach you how to detect them and...make sure you don't inadvertently kill yourself.

[She wouldn't take the risks with Annabeth that they sometimes had with Yelena. Hopefully they didn't have anything as awful as My Love in Keeliai, however.]

[Yelena's smile makes Annabeth crack a tiny one of her own. She's glad to see it on her friend's face.]

Accidentally killing myself is something I'd definitely rather avoid, ability to come back here or otherwise. I'd appreciate all that, really.

[Her smile widens a bit more, even if it's a tired, weary thing.]

Don't worry, I've got your back with this. Plus there's the bonus that the training really improves your sensitivity to taste and smell. Food tastes better that way.

[It's something she hadn't thought about, but it makes sense. And she can't help but think of Percy, and maybe a little diversion will be good for Yelena.]

That's a bonus I'm pretty sure Percy would enjoy more than any other bit.

[Because really, that boy with food. But Annabeth smiles a little wider herself.]

Though I guess it would be the same in reverse, too? With foods you don't like tasting worse?

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TRIGGERS FOR EXPERIMENTATION, TORTURE, AND SEXUAL ASSAULT START HERE

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SORRY THIS IS SO LATE KSHDSDKJH ;;

NO WORRIES BB <333

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