tushanshu | fifteen : carry on my wayward son [video]

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fifteen : carry on my wayward son [video]

[Hayley folds her hands in her lap and offers a smile that's obviously fake and disjointed at best.]

So Clark Kent is gone.

I, uh, paid some kedan to help me move the radio stuff into my suite? I didn't want it to get taken away. I mean, I'm not really the radio type. So like, I can show someone how it works or whatever, but I don't want to be in charge of it.

[She lifts a hand to wrap around the back of her neck, awkward.] If you didn't know, there's a radio system that people can use to transmit messages. He left a bunch of extras to hand out if people need them, so you can listen. But anyone can come transmit a message if they need to - if it's important, you know? Allegedly It can't hear the radio. The big bad wolf, I mean. I don't know if that's true though.

[encrypted 60% to Tony Stark]
Before you even ask, no, you can't butcher it for your project. If you want to come study it or whatever, I can.. figure out a time and someone to watch you.

[encrypted 60% to Aya]
Hey. I think you were friends with the Kents, right? I don't really know how to repair any of this stuff if it breaks.. Maybe you could help? I mean, you're already basically my boss at both Stark and Wayne, so I don't want you to be my boss here too, but I might need help if you're willing to.

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No, they're Clark's radios. Sort of like how this place belongs to the other Tony Stark and you being here doesn't automatically make it yours just because he's not around anymore. [Cracks appear in her facade by the end as frustration leaks through. Her feelings for Tony are complicated right now and mostly negative, with little he's said or done to make up for it.]

And I don't care what you're doing to them as long as you're not out to kill more people, but you do realize we have limited resources here, right? The only reason Clark and Lois were even able to make these radios is because of that satellite crash and most of everything else has come from what people have found when we go visit other markets or auctions or whatever.

But, please, by all means.. You're the genius, right? You know what you're doing. Why would anyone listen to me when you can just take over and act like everything you're doing now has never been done before and those of us that have been here for years don't know anything at all?

[She huffs at the end. Realizing how carried away she's become by the end, her rant as much directed at others as at Tony specifically, Hayley drops her glare down to her coffee.]

[Wh aa... ? ?? Oh shit. Oh shit, he is in so deep over his head.]

I— Look, I know I'm not the first person to try this, okay? That's why I've been asking people for help! [His tone is bewildered and upset. Iron Man's confidence has abandoned him, and he sounds exactly like what he really is: a hurt teenager.]

That's why I wanted to get together with everybody who'd worked on the network before - so I wouldn't be doing everything from scratch when a lot of the work's already been done! You're mad at me for not knowing how everything works and not knowing everything that happened before I even got here, and then you're mad at me for trying to figure it out! I'm doing my best to do whatever I can to help out, here, and if that's not good enough for you, well... I'm sorry.

[His voice turns bitter.] I'm sorry I'm just a shitty knock-off version of a guy you actually liked. And I'm sorry I'm not the kind of hero who can solve every single problem without anyone ever getting hurt, and talk all the villains into feeling bad and going home to rethink their lives. Maybe the other Tonys were that kind of hero. Maybe they had everything together and knew what the hell was going on. So, sorry I'm not them, I guess.

[He's just so frustrated - he doesn't know what she wants from him. He doesn't understand why she always seems to be pissed off at him. He'd thought she was angry about what happened with Solomon, about him killing the Makluans, but now she's brought up all this other stuff, and he's right back to square one of being totally fucking lost.

He puts the radio down, sighs, and runs a hand through his hair. There's no anger in his next words; mostly, he sounds resigned.] We got brought here to do a job. That's what I'm trying to do. You don't have to like me. I'm just asking for your help.

[The girl takes a sip of her coffee as she listens to him. Hayley shakes her head, anger fading as she sighs. When she speaks again, her voice is more level, quieter even.]

Don't you get it? They're gone. Everyone who worked on things before and made them better are gone- Except Annabeth, I guess. And me, sort of.

[She pauses, finally looking up at him again.] Tony saved me. I mean, not exactly.. But- After Hannibal murdered me, I woke up scared and alone and- he'd killed Tony too, with Superman's powers. Tony helped me get home. He gave me a place to stay before the lanterns tied us to our rooms. He built me a weapon. He.. protected me.

[Hayley hasn't realized that fact so concisely before this moment. It's why she's so angry about this Tony coming in and replacing him, about this Tony taking over Stark Industries by default instead of anyone who knew the other Tony and what he was like. Who knew that the other Tony didn't even consider Stark Industries his, because the Tony before him had been the one to build this place. Tony had protected her. He'd seen that she got the justice she needed afterward too.]

So much has happened that none of you even know about and you don't bother to ask. [She sets the coffee on the counter and slides off the stool.] I'm going to go home. Just bring me the radio when it's done, okay?

[Hayley doesn't wait for an answer before she begins to leave.]

[Whoah, wait, what?] You... died? [he asks, rather stupidly. His surprise at that revelation wipes his brain totally clean of anything else he might said to any of the rest of her statements.

Not that he would have had a lot to say, anyway. Other than "sorry I'm not the better Tony," which he already covered.

As she gets up and starts walking to the door, Tony scrambles for the box that holds the self-defense devices he'd built. He grabs one of each, turns back around, and holds them out.] Wait, Hayley— will you take one of these?

[He can't be Other Tony, and he can't build her a weapon, and he can't bring back the people who have disappeared. This is all he's got.]

[Hayley tenses when she hears him moving around behind her, half expecting him to attack her. When he approaches her, holding out the devices, she turns to look at him. He seems sincere. It seems stupid for her not to take them, but there's part of her that feels like accepting them is a sign of forgiveness, and she's not willing to give that to him. Not while he's still failing to ask questions and running Stark Industries and being a genocidal maniac without explanation.]

Quid pro quo. [She replies instead, looking up at him without making any move to accept the devices.] Why did you kill all those people?

[Tony's shoulders slump. He wishes she'd stop saying it like that. "Saved the planet from alien invasion" sounds like the right thing to do. It sounds heroic. Being reminded of the fact that he'd killed thousands of people, aliens or not, to do it, makes it feel a lot less like a victory. It doesn't feel heroic anymore - just ugly and brutal.

Slowly, reluctantly, he starts to speak.]

The day I got pulled here, back home, an alien ship appeared over New York. The aliens called themselves the Makluans. And they were all the worst cliches about evil alien invaders. They'd spent thousands of years flying around the galaxy, taking over any planet that they didn't destroy, but we weren't interesting or useful enough to enslave, so they just put Earth on their obliteration list. Me and my friends and my dad and the director of SHIELD - if you knew the other Tonys, you probably know all about SHIELD - we came up with a way to overload the ship's engine power core and destroy it. So that's what we did. We destroyed them before they could destroy us.

[His words take on a defiant edge, like he's challenging her to judge him, or to say she could have done better.]

We didn't have a choice. They Makluan overlord had his finger on the big red button, and we had minutes to come up with a plan and pull it off. It's not like we could call up the Galactic Geneva Convention to come negotiate for us.

[For a second, he's all righteous assurance. He did the right thing. He knows he did the right thing.

But he also knows that he hasn't told Hayley the whole story.

His confidence falters, and then, even more reluctantly than before, he continues.]

It... started before that, though. [He sounds like he's pulling his own teeth.] They came to get back these... weapons that they'd created, that had been hidden on Earth. My dad had one, before he went missing. Nobody had any idea what it was; we all thought it was just some weird ancient artifact. And after the plane crash, I wanted to carry on his work, so I tried to learn more about it. I found out there were more, and me and my friends went looking for them. But somebody else was looking for them too. He tricked us into working with him to find them all, and when we had, he stole them. And he activated them. And that's when the Makluans showed up. He didn't know that would happen, either. None of us did.

[He meets Hayley's eyes, and his expression is unhappy but determined.]

So. That's what happened. It was an accident, but I was part of the reason the Makluans found us. And I was the one who figured out how to blow up their ship, and we did it with my bombs. It was my responsibility. I accept that, but I won't apologize for it. I'd have done a lot of things differently if I'd known better, but the way things went down - I did what I had to.

[Hayley listens to him, watches him. She's more concerned with how he tells the story - his expressions and what he chooses to focus on - than the actual words he's using. It must be nice for everything to be so black and white. Being on a heroic quest, a Loki stealing items, and the evil hordes descending. No room for doubt.

She's quiet and, other than muttering a correction about Sharon talking about SHIELD, not Tony, she lets him finish. Then she stares at him for a short silence beyond, as if waiting for him to add more. Finally, she shifts her weight and replies.] How do you know? [A beat.] I mean, that they were evil and about to kill you. How do you know? And how do you know the guy who stole and activated your weapons wasn't calling them?

[Tony blinks. That wasn't... really the part he was expecting her to focus on? But then, he doesn't expect pretty much anything Hayley ever says, so that shouldn't be a surprise.]

Because they told us? They toyed with us for a little while, sending drone ships down to bomb the city and making me and my friends fight in their stupid alien gladiator arena, but as soon as the Overlord got bored of us, he sent out a global announcement that he was blowing up the whole planet. You know, the standard "you're a pathetic and inferior species and only worthy of extermination" routine. He was pretty clear on the whole "disintegrating the planet" thing.

[He winces at her last question, though.] I know he didn't call them because... well, let's just say, he wasn't any happier to see the Makluans than we were. He's... it's complicated. [You have no idea how complicated, Hayley.] He's not a bad guy, he's just... kind of messed up.

[Tony shrugs helplessly.] He didn't know, and he fucked up. We all did. [He stands up a little straighter and squares his shoulders.] If you're going to blame someone for what happened, blame me. He wouldn't have found the... artifacts without my help, and he wasn't the one who destroyed the Makluans.

Wait, are you seriously defending the guy who betrayed you? [Because clearly that's the most important thing to focus on. Or because Hayley needs time to think about the rest and is a bit overwhelmed with all of it.] And I am blaming you, so no need to go all knight in shining armor about it.

[Again, focusing on the weirdest things. Followed up, of course, with a taunt that hits with the accuracy of a laser-scoped sniper shot.

Hayley's ability to undermine him and throw him off-balance is almost uncanny. It would be impressive, if it weren't so infuriating.]

Yeah, I am. [He almost can't believe it, but so help him, he is actually defending Gene Khan. Wonders never cease.] Because he was a kid who'd had the shit kicked out of him his whole life [- metaphorically and literally! -] who was just trying to do the right thing.

[Now, to be fair, he was so, so, so incredibly, spectacularly wrong about what the "right thing" was, but... points for effort?]

But if it makes you feel better, when this war here is over and we all get to go home, there's a decent chance that I'm dead and he'll spend the rest of his life in a maximum-security SHIELD cell. [He laughs, and there's no humor in it at all, just bitterness and pain.] So, there you go. Everybody gets what they deserve.

[It's only the words he uses, the way he says it that stops Hayley. Whoever the person is that Tony's defending sounds a little too much like herself; what he says sounds like what Kon might say to someone attacking her for attacking Superman. She doesn't really believe him and still thinks the whole thing needs much more consideration, but she can't argue the defense someone would use on her behalf.]

I have to go. [She says suddenly, as if he's just asked her on a date or told her her house was on fire. It's met with the same sudden and great need to flee from his presence. Hayley jabs a thumb over her shoulder to emphasize her point, then turns to leave again, not even considering that Tony might stop her.]

I— [Tony starts to hold out the devices again, but she's already turned around and started walking away. His hands drop. He looks down.]

Yeah. Okay. [He says, in a voice so quiet she may not even be able to hear it.

He's pretty sure he's screwed things up irreparably this time. And if she's that desperate to get away, he's not going to stop her.]

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fifteen : carry on my wayward son [video]

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warning: spoilers for literally the entire show

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wow learning to take RESPONSIBILITY for his ACTIONS. amazing. lil nerd growing up

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