oo1 / radio;

[insertdadjoke]

[ The line opens to dead air for a good ten seconds or so before there's a sigh, more amused than anything, and the soft sound of civilization around. Cain has made his way to the Welcome Center after being tossed down in an unfamiliar area of the Turtle and is just letting it all sink in for now. ]

So, what have I missed?

By which I mean: hello, Keeliai. This is Jacob Kane speaking. I was here once before, but apparently that was a while back. Can anyone fill me in or otherwise point me in the direction of someone who can? Losing so much time out of the blue like this isn't exactly the best way to get a welcome home, but somehow I doubt anyone's established a complaints department in my absence.

Comments

radio --> action?

[skeletonenigma]

If it was as simple as choosing whether to be alive or dead, then yes.

I'll be right behind you.

[He actually gets there first, since he was only a block away and being alive thankfully doesn't prevent him from flying. In fact, flying is one of the few things which can keep Skulduggery's thoughts sharp and focused for long periods of time. Like a child, Zelgadis had said, and he was right. Something about an organic brain made paying attention more of a chore than an afterthought.]

[insertdadjoke]

[ Cain isn't too far behind. Despite not knowing how Skulduggery looks when he's alive, a quick scan of the room and he's walking over to the man anyway. Those golden numbers resting at zero, peeking out from behind the folded collar of a suit, tells him what he needs to know. This is an actual return to life, but one Skulduggery doesn't qualify for or deserve. ]

Well. Skin does look pretty good on you, I'll admit.

[skeletonenigma]

[Not many people recognise Skulduggery before hearing his voice, but it makes sense to him that Cain would. Deathsight. Even alive, Skulduggery's time of death must have been markedly different from everyone else in the Hotel's lobby.]

You're not the first person to say that. [He smiles.] You are, however, the first male person to say that. Am I what you expected?

[insertdadjoke]

[ It's almost some kind of comfortable. Someone who knows about him, what he is and what he can do, and the easy banter. Despite the fact that everything about this encounter is wrong, Cain has more than enough self-control not to take it into his hands immediately. This place is odd, its rules bendy at best, and he knows better than to try asserting his own rights and wrongs without understanding that that means first. ]

Not at all. The fact that you're not a stereotypical Irish redhead has dashed my hopes.

[ As he speaks, Cain reaches up for the collar of Skulduggery's shirt — the knot of his tie, specifically — to begin undoing it in the effort of getting a clearer look at those numbers. It's bothering him more than he wants to outright admit. Thankfully, he does pause momentarily before actually starting just in case Skul wants to have a violent reaction to the presumptive motion first. He's considerate like that. ]

[skeletonenigma]

I'm so sorry to disappoint.

[... Except that apparently he isn't disappointing. In the slightest. Quite the opposite from having a violent reaction, Skulduggery lets a few quiet moments go by, still and silent, acutely aware of some bystanders doubletaking and others outright staring.

Cain, what are you doing?]

Are you sure you don't want to go somewhere private?

[... What can he say. He's alive. He's not in control of what he says. It's a fluke.]

[insertdadjoke]

[ Cain rolls his eyes up only briefly to the comment, now working at the top few buttons. Once that's done, he pulls the collar away and slips the tie down to press a finger lightly against one of the string of zeroes lining the front of Skulduggery's neck. ]

It isn't the same anymore.

[ His finger tap-taps on Skul's neck before he pulls his hand away. ]

That's all.

[skeletonenigma]

[The moment Cain's hand is free, Skulduggery buttons back up and straightens his tie. He hasn't let being alive impinge upon his fashion sense. If anything, without needing a collapsible frame to give the suit some shape, being alive has only enhanced Skulduggery's fashion sense.]

What isn't the same?

[insertdadjoke]

[ Sure, if that's what it is. He quirks a brow to the quick fix, but doesn't comment on it. There's a few points in the positive for not swatting Cain away or not reacting poorly in the first place, too. ]

Your clock. It's wrong. [ His head tilts, a quick bob to the side. ] It has been, but it's different now. Remember what I told you?

[skeletonenigma]

About deathsight? Yes. You didn't explain very much then, though. Nothing about a clock.

[Although, in retrospect, a clock makes sense.]

What does it say now?

[insertdadjoke]

That you've run out of time.

[ Cain doesn't shift, doesn't give it away, but it's not a good thing for it to say that. He isn't happy about it, but he won't give off any hostility, discomfort or dislike at the thought. Just a fact. ]

And you've probably been out of time for a very long time.

[skeletonenigma]

[He nods.] Probably in the neighbourhood of three hundred years.

[Skulduggery won't put an exact date on it. He stopped doing that even when he was dead; he's hardly going to start now that he's apparently alive. Most sorcerers stopped keeping track somewhere around the 250 mark anyway.]

What would someone with deathsight see if they looked at your neck?

[insertdadjoke]

Right. That's what I usually see.

[ His brow raises, almost in challenge. Then he pauses, tilts his head and shakes it after a moment of thought. ]

Generally speaking, you never tell someone their own time. Once it was described to me as... as many days as there are grains of sand in the world.

[skeletonenigma]

So you're slated to live forever. You have my sympathies.

[Really. Skulduggery may not be three thousand years old, but he knows what it feels like to stare down the centuries and realise you'll probably live long past everyone you know.

... Or, well. He used to know what it feels like. Now, he'll probably age at the same rate as other sorcerers. Does that mean he's physically less than two hundred years old?]

You can't tell if this is permanent, can you?

[insertdadjoke]

More or less. It's pretty easy to live in the moment even knowing that, so it isn't so bad.

[ Which is the truth. However, that doesn't make it inescapable and the gigantic chasm of time stretching in front of him is enough to force anyone into a mental breakdown every now and then. ]

Not by your numbers. If this were anything like my world, someone would be on their way to kill you and enforce the balance. Since you're not used to being alive, you'll want to take extra care in daily activities if you want to keep surviving. It's easier than you'd think to get complacent.

[skeletonenigma]

I've already gotten complacent. I didn't realise I was thirsty until a friend of mine pointed out I wasn't drinking anything. If it wasn't for constant reminders, I'd already be dead.

[And showers. Showers. Showers didn't exist before Skulduggery died. He's at once repulsed and fascinated by them.]

I have to say, I'm glad I don't live in your world.

[insertdadjoke]

Have you forgotten to breathe or blink yet?

[ By the tone of his voice, it's something Cain has done and finds particularly amusing. Oh, those silly bodies recovering from major violent trauma. ]

So am I: people would freak out at the skeleton thing.

[ Among other problems a sorcerer's existence would cause. Even if Skulduggery wasn't magic in Cain's world... his personality was probably enough, really. ]

[skeletonenigma]

Yes.

[At least breathing is fairly automatic, and Skulduggery's body jumpstarts it if Skulduggery forgets. But blinking is a different beast, and more than once Skulduggery has been driven to the point of tears before he realises his eyes are much too dry.]

People always freak out at the skeleton thing. Most people get over it. Everyone else...

[... well, either dies, or stops being a problem. Never through any fault of Skulduggery's.]

... most people get over it.

[insertdadjoke]

Good. Then you're aware to keep from forgetting in the future.

[ Cain shifts, makes himself more comfortable in the Hotel. They're just having a casual conversation here, after all. ]

Suppose it's not much different from deathsight where the public's concerned. Well, the getting over it thing. Did you ever have any of those "I'm a skeleton but if I weren't, I'd really love to—" moments? I'd probably have those.

[skeletonenigma]

[Skulduggery follows suit. It's strange, all these little things; he's never benefited from making himself comfortable before.]

Not really. Every now and then a new type of food comes along people go out of their way to recommend, or something new gets invented - like showers. But otherwise, no. I can still drive a car. I can still talk. I can still go to the cinema. I can still wear fine clothes.

[He pauses.]

I could, I mean. I could still do all of those things.

[insertdadjoke]

[ Which is all well and good for a skeleton, but trying to stay standing however you want in the same position when you have skin just looks awkward. ]

Mm, showers. [ He grins indulgently. That was a good invention. He appreciates that one. ]

So... what, being a skeleton didn't inhibit your daily life at all? Or you were just so used to it by the time any new curiosities came around?

[skeletonenigma]

We were in the middle of a war. At the time, we were lucky I was conscious at all, and not needing to sleep or eat weren't really considered inhibitions with time and supplies running out. By the time the war was over, I barely remembered being alive.

[So much of being a skeleton came down to convenience. Magic was easier to use. Thoughts and conclusions came faster. Fighting was unimpaired. The only problem Skulduggery had was disguising himself from the general public, and even that was easier than it sounded. No one questioned the quirks of strangers.]

[insertdadjoke]

Right, a war. How long was that war?

[ Not that it was impossible for a human-length war to drive some men to such extremes, but somehow Cain imagined men with longer lifespans had longer to fight and longer lives to look forward to once they had their way. It changed a lot of things that he was no longer quite so ready to take for granted. Damn these alternate universes, forcing him to be flexible at nearly twenty-eight hundred. ]

Or... I remember something about a war. When we were dreaming?

[skeletonenigma]

Nearly three hundred years.

[No one kept track. And even if someone had, they would have argued over what precisely started the war (which Skulduggery could have told them, since he was there), and what precisely ended the war. It wasn't the treaty, in Skulduggery's opinion. It wasn't even Mevolent's death, or Vengeous's arrest.]

You know, I'd forgotten about that. I didn't think you were cognizant enough to remember any of it.

[insertdadjoke]

[ Cain pauses, eyes drifting down to Skulduggery's clock. He remembers what it was before this whole thing happened. Chances are, there hadn't been that large of a reprieve between the end of the war and now. Relatively speaking, of course. ]

Guess we should all be glad regular wars don't last that long. Not like that, anyway.

[ At the mention of cognizance, Cain ducks his head and shakes it. ]

Not at the time. I was definitely out of it. But Abel... wait, that's right. You met Abel, too. [ He glances up to Skulduggery, considering. ] You're the only one who's met anything like my brother at all here.

[ That terrible version of Abel in the fight against Malicant only half counts. What Skulduggery saw was the most honest representation of his brother that he could muster. ]

[skeletonenigma]

Very probably. Personally, I choose not to be glad until we've put an end to war entirely, but I've always been an incurable optimist.

[If by 'incurable optimist' you mean 'brutal and pessimistic pragmatist'.]

Should I be flattered?