Text

[aprettyflyboy]

Hello everyone,

Last week sure had been something else. To those who helped me, or at least made a valiant attempt at not stepping on me, I can't thank you enough. To those who has no idea what I am talking about, ...lucky you! Feel free to ignore this message.

It is me or the hell had started pulsing at night? I haven't been in this city long enough to tell if that's normal. I am guessing it might have something to do with the Turtle finally awakening?


[Locked to Rey]

Can we talk? I'd like to know if you are okay.

[/en of the lock]

[Locked to Kylo Ren]

So that was a thing that actually happened, uh?

[/en of the lock to Kyo Ren]

Comments

[no_light]

I wouldn't be hunting him if I didn't think I was ready to defeat him.

I didn't kill the traitor like he deserved, that was more fairness than he deserved.

[aprettyflyboy]

You are aware that he defeated Vader and the Empire right? [Of course Luke didn't do it all alone but that was irrelevant now.]

You didn't because Rey overpowered you.

[no_light]

My grandfather was poisoned by the Light and the pity Luke Skywalker instilled in him. I have proven I won't fall prey to the same mistake.

Rey faltered when she could have finished it. She missed her chance.

[aprettyflyboy]

What you call 'poison' is what mostly people understands as common sense.

Showing mercy is a strength, not a weakness. You wanted her to kill you?

[no_light]

Of course not. But that is what I would have advised her to do if I weren't biased.

[aprettyflyboy]

Understandable bias, though.

Let me get something clear, what exactly aren't your intentions towards her?

[no_light]

[ Oh. You are not. Don't you dare give him the shovel talk, Dameron. He's not even getting laid for his trouble. ]

You mean other than not getting killed at her hands?

It's not a secret I want to teach her. She is gifted.

[aprettyflyboy]

[He can and he will if he has to.]

She is really special, no doubt. Teacher her, is that what you like to call it?

[no_light]

[ AUGH!

WHY.

YOU. ]

Teach her the Force. The Dark Side. Not

You have a dirty mind, Dameron

[ Great, now he is blushing. Since when is talking to Dameron just as bad as talking to Heather. ]

[aprettyflyboy]

[Oh, lovely vengeance.]

I didn't say anything about...anything. What exactly do you think I was talking about?

[See, the blushing isn't helping you, Kylo.]

[no_light]

I refuse to have this conversation with you, Dameron!

[ As in, he's going to sulk and lick his wounds. Stupid pilot! ]

Such mortification. He is not prepared for such conversations!

[aprettyflyboy]

[All that embarrassment only makes Poe more curious, honestly.]

I know Jedis were all about no relationship and attachments but sure someone at some point must have explained those to you, right?

[Aka, did you ever get The Talk™? If not, this might explain Kylo's terrible approach when it came to Rey.]

rude, it's a family legacy, ask EU!Han about that time he kidnapped Leia to impress her

[no_light]

[ What, you mean kidnapping people and menacing them is not how you inspire trust and confidence? Not even if you murder your own family members in front of them? Because that should be sure to wow them. ]

I AM NOT HAVING THE BIRDS AND BEES TALK WITH YOU, DAMERON

[ Why does every one of their conversations spiral into terrible things? It's like Dameron is jinxing him. ]

Alas it doesn't count as family legacy if it happened in a parallel universe, sorry pal!

[aprettyflyboy]

[Shocking news to you Kylo but actually now. Try some classic wooing, like being captured yourself and then have a dashing ex-stormtrooper come to your rescue...wait, no.]

Would you rather ask Han about it?

[It's not his fault if you didn't learn the basics as a kid. he's trying to help.]

you're cramping his style with your prejudice!

[no_light]

[ Look he would try but nobody would rescue him and Hux would just send a manual for his proper care and feeding. ]

The Jedi are not THAT prudish, Dameron.

[ Good going, Dameron, now you have him feeling indignant and defensive on behalf of the New Jedi Order. You know, the one he wiped out. This day just keeps getting better. ]

We did in fact receive proper Republic-standard sex education.

[ And he can't believe he is having this conversation. What. Is. His. Life. ]

Oh yes Poor Kylo is being bullied by logic

[aprettyflyboy]

[No lie, Hux would.]

Ey, I don't know all the details. I haven't exactly talked to many of them.

[This whole conversation is a roller-coaster.]

Thanks the Force. But are your experiences limited to that education?

common sense needed to take a break from bullying him

[no_light]

[ Staring.

Staring.

Some more staring. ]

Are you seriously asking after my sexual experience, Dameron?

[ He really feels you haven't got a right to ask this unless you're planning to give him some. ]

But he's such an easy target...

[aprettyflyboy]

[Stop that, it's unnerving!]

I'm not sure how the conversation turned to this but...yes.

[Is that really your train of thought? Do you have something to tell me?]

[no_light]

[ It is! This is need-to-know information! Idle curiosity is not need to know. ]

Unless this is your idea of propositioning me, I don't see how that's any of your kriffing business, pilot

[ Look what you've done. Now he's cursing. All because of you. ]

[aprettyflyboy]

[For the first time in forever, I am missing your ugly helmet.

Poe's eyebrows' go up, as it he's not quite believing what he's hearing. Then he grins?]

Oh? Would you like me to do that? It his why you keep pestering me?

[Seeing you this troubles is only making it more fun.]

[no_light]

[ Can his discomfort be detected from outer space yet? It should. ]

[ No! Of course not! Hux was delusional.

Look, the last time someone asked for my experience they were propositioning me. ]

[ And it's preferable to you asking for Rey. That would be just plain weird okay.]

[aprettyflyboy]

[One doesn't need to be force-sensitive to feel it now.]

Were they? And how did that go?

[Not well, Poe figures, or Kylo wouldn't be this embarrassed.

Yes that would be even weirder.]

[no_light]

[ Maybe he could power the turtle with his awkwardness, turn that pulsing shell light into a nice steady glow! ]

I wasn't interested.

[ Ugh. Why is he still having this conversation? But it's Poe or his new kin'nal roommates. At least he can get away with murder threats to Poe. ]

[aprettyflyboy]

[Now that is positive thinking!]

Because they were too bold? Or just not your type?

[Do not abuse the poor little refugees, Kylo. Poe is a better target indeed.]

[no_light]

The Dark Side requires your complete focus and dedication. I don't pursue distractions.

[ And there you have your answer, Poe, in a roundabout way. ]