Second Guitar Solo - [Video] Eddie Riggs

[nogutsnoglory]

I figure this isn't exactly gonna work, but- it's worth a shot. You know, for prosperities sake. Hell it worked in the last place I was at, with mixed results, but whatever.

[He takes a slow centering breath, closing his eyes as silence falls over the feed. The silence lingers for a few moments more before Eddie suddenly claps his hands together, the loud noise probably startling anyone actually watching the video. His eyes staying closed as he begins to speak.]

Oh, holy, mean green and scaly giant turtle carryin' us around. That sounds good, right? You think you could like- send us home or some shit? It'd be appreciated oh, uh mighty turtle guy- or girl. Equal turtle rights, man. No discrimination for turtles, hell no.

Like, we'll solve your problems or whatever. As long as it doesn't involve stupid shit or too much terrible death, I kinda like livin'. Just like give us some fuckin' clue to what is goin' on since everyone is intent on being vague as fuck. You're like, a giant turtle so you can be honest, right?

Yeah?

[There is just silence for a moment, but Eddie doesn't seemed deterred by it as he keeps going.]

Okay, cool. We'll- give you, the fuck do turtles eat, lettuce and carrots. Giant pieces of lettuce and carrots in return and save the day too, cause I guess we're here for that apparently. Just give us a sign. Like, a good one, not that oblique shit like turtle faces on toast. That would be kinda weird.

Uh, am-turtle-men.

[Eddie opens an eye looking around. Letting the silence go on a moment before sighing.] Okay, no earth shatterin' kaboom or sign, so probably didn't work? Damn it. So much for that.

Comments

video;

[wintershepherd]

Do turtles even eat vegetables?

video;

[nogutsnoglory]

They're like- reptiles, some reptiles eat vegetables. I think. Maybe bugs.

Re: video;

[wintershepherd]

If you throw a few more things into that list, you could cover all four food groups.

Video;

[nogutsnoglory]

Worth a shot- maybe it could actually get us some more concrete answers instead vague shit.

[[video]]

[tearsinnajar]

[Elena bites back a chuckle before replying. He couldn't possibly have thought that would really work, right? Well, it took all types.]

At least you gave it the old college try?

[[video]]

[nogutsnoglory]

[Eddie offers Elena a easy smile in turn.]

Yeah, I did. It kinda sorta worked last time, so, ey. Maybe a giant turtle will be more obligin' than a weird walkin' demon prayer thing.

[[video]]

[tearsinnajar]

"Weird walkin' demon prayer thing" wasn't in the welcome wagon spiel. Is that something I should be worried about?

[[video]]

[nogutsnoglory]

Naw, that was somethin' from where I'm from. No demons things here, far as I know anyway.

video;

[crossestheline]

[Appears on the screen with his mask on, shielding his eyes and part of his face.]

You really think the turtle's the one behind all of this?

video;

[nogutsnoglory]

Even if he-she ain't, might as well try and see what the turtle would have to say on the issue.

video;

[crossestheline]

The turtle has been doing this for a long time, from what I've gathered. I'm pretty sure the turtle's response comes in the form of two words; the first starting with an f, the other a y.

video;

[exiledsummoner]

[Tris had missed the memo about them being on a 'scaly giant turtle', but that didn't really matter much since--]

What is a scaly giant turtle? [Yeah, those didn't exist back home. But, okay, that's not the most important thing he heard.] No-one knows why we're here? Even the people who have been here the longest?

video;

[nogutsnoglory]

Uh, s'just a turtle more or less. [He scratches his head as he thinks about what to really say.] We're kinda all on a giant turtle at the moment.

We got a bunch of vague ideas mostly. That we're here to help the Kedans out with SOMETHING serious. Askin' the locales doesn't get much in the way of details either.

video;

[exiledsummoner]

Oh... I meant uh, what is a turtle?

Yes, that was all I could find out from them on my journey into the city. It's not very comforting that they won't tell us - do they not see that it would be done so much faster if they did?

Audio

[agentdork]

Gold star, champ, you tried.

Audio

[nogutsnoglory]

Oh boy, a gold star. [Eddie chuckles easily back. He easily joking back.] Just what I always wanted, how'd you know?

Audio

[agentdork]

They were fresh outta anything else on Turtle Island, unfortunately.

[Video]

[meanandgreen]

Right.

[Is this guy an idiot or what?]

I guess I'll spell it out for you since you sound kinda confused. For one, you really think the Turtle's got one of these things? [He's pointing to the network computer keyboard thing.] For two, far as I know, the turtle's got nothin' to do with us bein' here. And for three? Who the heck tries to bribe someone with vegetables?

[Video]

[nogutsnoglory]

Less confused and more aimin' for possibly gettin' us somewhere. [Eddie doesn't seem particularly bothered by Raph's tone.] Eh, even if he-she, zhe didn't have a thing like this it's worth tryin'.

Considerin' it might be a giant vaguely normal turtle, it might be tempted by vegetables. I kind doubt pot roast or burritos would appeal to a giant turtle.

[Video]

[meanandgreen]

[Wow. He's actually serious, isn't he?]

If you really wanna get somewhere, take it to the Emperor. She's the one at the wheel of this crazy-train. And what about a humongous turtle with a whole city on its back strikes you as "normal"?

[Also, you happen to be speaking to a giant turtle who loves burritos, thank you very much.]

video

[shootingshields]

Well, I'm not sure anyone's quite tried that before. At least not so publicly.

video

[nogutsnoglory]

Ey, it is definitely worth a shot. The turtle could be a cool guy or girl.

video

[shootingshields]

Perhaps it can only respond telepathically, near its head.

[wholenewstory]

Maybe if we really...brought it the giant lettuce.

[nogutsnoglory]

The turtle would pretty much be on our side forever if we did that.