o1 ♆ video

[kelpful]

[A messy-haired teenage boy is eyeing the computer with an expression somewhere between dubious, irritated, and relieved] One minute I’m falling to Tartarus, the next I’m stuck on a giant turtle and surrounded by water. I’m pretty sure that no one can blame me for thinking that sounds too good to be true.

We are on a giant turtle, right? Like, I didn’t hit my head and hallucinate that or anything, there’s definitely a turtle with a whole city happening on its back and everything? Has anyone tried talking to it yet? Because I could really use an answer that isn’t ‘ask the Emperor’ right now.

[He glances down at his hands and falls silent for a moment. One of them shows signs of the skin being ripped and torn, but it’s the other one he seems to be focussing on. He clenches his hand fruitlessly for a second, before glancing back up at the camera] Uh. I’m Percy, by the way. I’m looking for a girl called Annabeth Chase. She’s tall, has curly blonde hair, and a bad attitude. If you tell her I’m looking for her, she’ll probably start badmouthing me. Or – Frank, Hazel, Nico, Leo, Piper. Jason, even. If you’re here, get in touch.

Comments

<3

[zerotoawesome]

Uh... Well... I mean, we're kind of living on its back, and it hasn't tried to shake us off, drown us, or kill us yet? [Except for the zombie thing, but he's trying to give the turtle the benefit of the doubt.]

Really? You're the first person I've talked to in a while that felt that way. You have mutants and stuff back where you're from?

[kelpful]

Hey, it could be biding its time. But that does sound pretty good so far. I might take a dive once I figure out...uh, everything that's going on.

...I was once attacked by a girl with one donkey leg and one bronze leg, and my brother's a Cyclopes. You kind of get used to weird appearances after that.

[zerotoawesome]

It could be, but I'm pretty sure it's not an evil mastermind turtle. It's more like a hang out and eat tacos with turtle... You know, if it was a reasonably sized one.

Wait, a donkey leg? [Because obviously that's the only part that he needed to pick up on.]

[kelpful]

You think turtles go for Mexican?

[He makes a face] Yeah, apparently the empousa seduce guys for a living. You can't always see the legs.

[zerotoawesome]

Are you suggesting that they wouldn't? Turtles are total bros... Probably. Spaghetti and cheeseburgers then. We'll bring all the good stuff for it.

[He really doesn't know what to say, so he just stares for a few minutes.] Hopefully you can't always see the legs. I don't think I've met a guy who was into donkey gams.

[kelpful]

I don't know, man, I've never asked. Bringing options is probably the best idea. [He's grinning openly now]

Honestly? They're just as creepy when they're using the Mist to disguise themselves. They tend to go for a cheerleader form.

[zerotoawesome]

I bet they'd like them if they were fish tacos... But yeah, we'll bring options. Maybe it'll even like all of them and grant us wishes. [The extent of the turtles power is just going to get more and more unrealistic the longer they talk about it.]

That's kind of a bummer, man. I mean, being seduced is the dream... That just sounds like a nightmare.

[kelpful]

Some of them are vegetarians. Just saying. [He snorts] This thing is the size of a city, who knows? Maybe it can grant wishes. One per taco.

Well, most dudes don't realise it at all. If they're totally mortal, I mean. So they probably die in bliss with no idea about the donkey leg.

[zerotoawesome]

Fiiiine, we'll bring a salad too. Even though I'm sure the turtle is too manly for that.

... I can't decide if that's awesome or horrifying anymore... Well played.

[kelpful]

Do we even know for sure that the turtle's a dude?

[He makes a face] Horrifying. Trust me.

[zerotoawesome]

... How would you even tell?

[kelpful]

...I'm gonna go with ask. Because any alternative's going way too far, even for me.

[zerotoawesome]

I'll... Uh. I think I'll leave that part up to you, buddy.

[kelpful]

Definitely just asking.