001; video post

[crotcharrow]

[Someone looks really exhausted and ticked off for only just having arrived in the city. He's also still in his super-gear, green and white spandex covering his body and his goggles pushed up onto his forehead. His white hair looking like it's had a frustrated hand shoved through it more than a few times.]

Wow, okay, this place seriously needs to invent something faster than that stupid cart I just had to sit eternity in, because wow that was the worst three days of my life. And look, I get it. You guys don't even have to pretend to play along. This is some dumb initiation thing for the Avengers ain't it? You got Doc Strange all up in this to test our superhero strength or something. I mean I thought we kinda did a good job already, but whatever, I guess that's why you're a Captain and I'm a... what do they call the ones under Captains? Cadet sounds way too gay...

[he thinks for a few milliseconds, before scrunching his nose up and giving up, looking back at the camera.]

But no, seriously, the cart ride was totally enough initiating can you just get to the point so I can go get a pizza? Or do I really have to play your stupid game? Because I'm seriously not in the mood after you made me sit forever on a stupid cart and now I'm practically starving here!

[he goes to turn off the console, but then realises that he should probably at least say something else.]

If it's not Cap, I'm blaming you, Wiccan. You better be here too so I can kick your butt.

Comments

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[controlledvariable]

[That comment gets a sharply arched eyebrow] Are you even old enough for me to take you out for a drink?

[back home she wouldn't be, but she's not sure what the rules are here]

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[crotcharrow]

[He raises one right back at her with a smile.] Are you?

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[controlledvariable]

I'm old enough in England. [which is definitely relevant, despite her clear American accent]

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[crotcharrow]

That's the weirdest British accent I ever heard.

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[controlledvariable]

I'm just trying to blend in with all you Americans.

[She can, actually, do assorted British accents, but thinks that might be an odd skill for someone to have]

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[crotcharrow]

Uh huh. Blend in with the Americans. In this place. Not buying it.

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[controlledvariable]

There are actually a lot of us, I think we outnumber any other nationality.

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[crotcharrow]

Americans or British people?

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[controlledvariable]

Americans, I'm not actually British. [plot twist]

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[crotcharrow]

[He feigns shock.] You lied to me?

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[controlledvariable]

[and Steph will feign guilt] I'm sorry, that was terrible of me, how can I ever make it up to you?

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[crotcharrow]

Well, like I said. You can always take me out for a drink.

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[controlledvariable]

You're pretty set on that drink, aren't you? Is it the date aspect you're going after, or should I be worried about alcoholism?

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[crotcharrow]

Nah. I'm a speedster. I can't even get drunk.

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[controlledvariable]

[she kind of wants to ask 'so, the former?' but is struck with a moment of worry that he's not, actually, trying to hit on her and that she'd just embarrass herself.

How does she shot socialisation?]

That kinda sucks, but I guess being able to do - speedstery things would make up for it.

[speedstery things. yes]

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[crotcharrow]

[he grins a bit.]

Speedstery things. Is that the official word for it?

[oh man she's kinda cute when she gets a bit flustered.]

And just so y'know, I'm just after the date part. I'm not gonna get you drunk and help you make bad choices or anything. It's not like there's anything decent around here to teepee anyway.

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[controlledvariable]

Yes, since I'm clearly the expert.

[Well there's. that mystery solved.

Help where did her ability to be a trolling little shit go? She's just going to casually not address that 'date' part.]

We could always teepee the turtle's head, I think that'd go down well with the locals. [obviously someone doesn't need alcohol to make bad choices]

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[crotcharrow]

[He snorts with laughter.]

D'you even know where it is? Because I'm totally game.

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[controlledvariable]

Near the palace, I think? Or maybe it was the other way 'round, and the palace is near the turtle's ass?

[stay classy, Brown]

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[crotcharrow]

Yeah, because building a palace in a place that smells like turtle shit is a great idea!

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[controlledvariable]

Hey, they built a city on the back of a turtle in the first place, that doesn't exactly scream 'great decision making skills'.

[fair.]

[crotcharrow]

Good point. Or maybe they just, didn't know it was a turtle 'till it was too late.

[controlledvariable]

[.....]

I was gonna question how could someone not possibly know that, but considering some of the dumb stuff humans used to believe, I guess accidentally building a city on a turtle is understandable.

[crotcharrow]

[he snorts.] God, that sounds so stupid. Whups, we accidentally built a city on a turtle that's swimming around! Our bad, guys.

[controlledvariable]

To be fair, humanity built their cities on a rock hurtling through space, so, you know, glass houses.