tushanshu | 001 [video] console café

[The backdrop? One of the console cafés private rooms, with the door open to show a hall crowded with locals, but this particular room seems empty save a pair of large, rounded ears that are twitching minutely to catch the many sounds going around him. Seconds later, half a head peers into the video and a furry brow furrows.]

This is not anything like what I expected once my time came. There is much and everything is complex and-- No one can see me, can they. [A mutter as one elderly red panda holds onto the edge of the console and tries to look at the camera.

This? Is not working. He abandons that technique and kicks back the chair, performing a perfect flip to land balanced on the crux of his staff, the base of which is resting on the floor. Now centered in the video, he smoothes out his robes and clears his throat.]

I understand this is a realm for those who have completed their journeys. [A pause, a steady breath, and a nod.] I am at peace with this.

[The murmur of crowd in the background surges briefly and an ear flicks in irritation. Shifu decides it is better to finish his message before more people arrive.]

If you can just direct me to Master Oogway, I... [A pause as he glances around, borderline frazzled by all the people here.] -ah, I will confer with him and resume my meditations.

[A marginally graceful nod to the camera, then he descends the staff onto the console, searching for the command to kill the feed.]

There are many, many more people than I expected to have achieved the inner peace necessary to attain this state.

[It's one more perplexed mutter before he finds the command and ends it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Hmph!] I just know that our place of rest would not be a giant turtle.

Turtles are a symbol of the heavens and something to aspire to. They are wisdom and masters. One should be honoured to exist upon the back of one.

No they aren't. The salmon is the wise one.

The... salmon.

Of course. Haven't you heard of the Salmon of Knowledge? It ate the seeds that dropped from the trees surrounding its pond, and in so doing it gained all the wisdom of the world. Everyone knows this.

This is... not something that my master ever discussed with me. [Descending into self commentary.] Nor have I ever encountered it...

I most certainly have never seen a salmon master Kung Fu.

You don't need this kungfoo thing to be wise.

[Stop.

Ear twitch.]

Absurd. The wisdom of the universe can only be unlocked by those that have mastered Kung Fu. This is how it has been for one thousand years.

I just told you. The Salmon of Knowledge did not need any of this silly kungfoo to become wise.

But it is impossible to become wise simply by eating food! If this were the case, then the Dragon Warrior would have long ago mastered Kung Fu.

[You're breaking his brain, just sayin'.]

It wasn't food. They were sacred nuts from the tree of knowledge. Have you not listened to a word I've said?

I have, but nuts are food!

[He's losing a bit of composure the more they go into this "Po" method of learning.]

And what is your point?

Only that you claim that a salmon gained knowledge by consuming a food item. This is clearly impossible!

It is not impossible, because it happened. You are not very good at listening.

[Gaping. He is actually gaping at Aisling now because her surety is breaking Kung Fu's origins in his head.

Shifu pinches the bridge of his nose tightly and seeks the inner peace he needed with Po. As when he originally needed it, this inner peace is... absent and all he can focus on is the image of Po as a salmon eating seeds and-- no. Stop there.]

This is not something that happened in China.

[aka, that place where things make SENSE.]

Well, that makes sense, doesn't it? We are not from the same places.

Yes-- Well, no. But. This is more like China than-- [Shifu is kind of worked up about this.] It is a turtle here, is it not? Then this salmon simply cannot be right.

Turtles and salmon are both water beasts.

That look nothing alike. [A flat tone.]

What is your point? And why are we arguing about this, anyway? This has become stupid.

[No more stupid than the idea of a salmon that-- wait. Inner peace. He is a master of Kung Fu and can lift himself above this. HONEST.]

Very well. If you see this salmon of knowledge, then the matter will be settled. I will meditate until then.

[Ahem. Yes. Good. Shifu ends the video there.]

And if I see your turtle friend, I will tell you.