[video] Nowadays it is only the unreadable that occurs

[depicted]

[Dorian posts from his Fire Sector suite, a transcription of some pages of books he found in the Emperor's library in hand. The transcription is, of course, in the local language, and that is why he speaks]

In the interest of actually being able to read anything useful we might come across, rather than puzzling over it like it's the Voynich manuscript, I thought it might be prudent to attempt to gather together the work of those of us who have been trying to crack the language. I know there are at least a few—if there are resources to be shared, then we may all make a bit more progress. [He has been working on this for some time, and it is audible in every stubborn syllable.] At the very least, it can't possibly hurt.

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[monstrous]

There's not much else to do. [handwaves in the direction of Dorian's books] You really need to get on top of this translation business.

[depicted]

[He sulks.] I can learn it later. I've been trying for months. It won't hurt to spend the night with you.

[monstrous]

[With a wicked smile, Toby leans in closer to Dorian] Or it could hurt if you wanted.

[And then Toby pushes himself off the couch and offers his hand to Dorian to help Dorian up] But come on, I'll try to help you. What have you gotten so far?

[depicted]

[Dorian takes the hand, but only on reflex. His brain takes a second to catch up with his heartrate, and when it does he doesn't let Toby's hand go. Instead, he pulls him closer.] What if I did want it to hurt?

[Sorry, were we talking about something other than Tobias Matthews? Whatever it was, it can't have been that important.]

[monstrous]

[Toby's nose is centimeters from Dorian's.] Then I would give you a particularly dense looking book to try and decipher. [With that, Toby tries to pull Dorian towards the books again] You still haven't said how far you've gotten with this translating.

[depicted]

[Dorian is flustered and unbalanced and very annoyed.] Because I haven't gotten very far at all! Toby!

[monstrous]

[Teasing and imitating Dorian] Dorian!

[depicted]

[Jackass.]

You don't know the language any more than I do. We're not going to get anywhere. Let's do something else?

[monstrous]

You faced zombie hordes trying to help these people. You can't face a few hours of studying? And I'm more clever than you are, so I might crack that language straight away.

[depicted]

All right, that's just not true.

[monstrous]

You lied about the zombies?

[depicted]

You're not more intelligent than I am.

[monstrous]

I beg to differ. Why not let this translating business decide? Unless of course you're ashamed to be shown up by me.

[depicted]

[Dorian picks up a book and chucks it at Toby.] Have at.

[monstrous]

[Toby ducks the book. When it lands he calmly goes over and picks it up] I will. Cheers, Dorian. May the most clever man win. [Toby grabs a pen off of the desk and then sinks back into the sofa with the book and a pen and begins reading]

[depicted]

[Dorian is going to try for ten minutes, except he's too busy being annoyed at Toby to actually put any effort into it. Toby is aggravating, and Dorian really has a hard time focusing on things that are not Toby.]

[So he eventually cracks and goes over to Toby.] How are you making out?

[monstrous]

[Toby smiles as he glances up at Dorian] If you need me to hold your hand with your text, you could just ask.

[depicted]

[Toby gets a scowl.] You haven't managed anything, we both know it.

[monstrous]

[The scowl just makes Toby smile more] Whatever you say. [Toby's nose is back in the book]

[depicted]

[Dorian covers the pages with a hand.] I bet you that you still can't read a word of this language.

[monstrous]

Not with your hand there I can't.

[depicted]

That's fine, since you'll be working off of a bit I've already started on. [He picks up one of his books and puts it in front of Toby. Just try it, vampire.]

[monstrous]

[Toby takes the book, giving Dorian an amused look] If that's what you like. Can't say I'm terribly surprised.

[depicted]

You're not surprised about what?

[monstrous]

That you'd find an excuse to slow me down so I wouldn't beat you. [Toby taps the book Dorian gave him] That is why you've given me this one and taken away the one I had been working on, isn't it?