( 001 ) ➶ ( voice )

[arches]

Okay, so not to be ungrateful--because I really appreciate being fished out of the ocean and given a crash course, really, I do--but the whole time thing? Things are just frozen, back where we came from, is that it?

_{( He pauses for a moment, and huffs. Perceptive listeners will be able to tell that he sounds exhausted, more so when he continues. )}

Yeah, I find that a little hard to swallow. More than this place, even. Has there been any verification, on that? Or am I just supposed to assume the nice people fishing me out of the ocean were telling the truth?

_{( Another pause, some muttering that isn't quite audible, though there may be a curse or two in there. Something about deserving this? Who knows. And then, just as unceremoniously as it began, the feed cuts. )}

Comments

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

God I am so sick of you guys and your screwed up alternate worlds.

Okay. Who are you? For real this time. I mean. You're obviously not Tony Stark or Big Green, and if you've never even heard of Pym-- God, I don't know. You don't sound Eurotrash enough to be Quicksilver and I haven't heard a single thou which pretty much rules out Thor. Plus I don't think he'd care about me saying I can use lightning. Except to say something like 'hey you, getteth thou off my cloud' or something like that.

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

_{( God this is embarrassing, they aren't even a team yet and he doesn't make these lists. It's a hard life, Clint Barton. )}

I'm Hawkeye. And you really are clueless if you think that's what Asgardians sound like.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

No way. Say something circus-y.

[YEAH HE DOESN'T BUY IT THERE HAVEN'T BEEN ENOUGH TERRIBLE PUNS IN THIS CONVERSATION.]

... Dude. Uh. Yeah? They kinda do.

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

What? No.

_{( And then, more seriously: )} No. They really don't.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

Then there's no way you're Hawkeye. Unless you're that chick from the Young Avengers with a voice modulator or something. In which case - weird.

Okay how many Asgardians have you met exactly?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

_{( Wow it's like everything Brandon just said he just wants to NOPE out to. Girl? Young Avengers? Talking about the Asgardians he knows... so much nope. )}

There's no way I am who I am? What exactly are you judging this against, kid?

_{( He pauses, then, kind of self-mockingly: )} One and a half.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

I've met Hawkeye. He's a big goofball who dresses all in purple and has like a million arrows and used to be a villain who worked in a circus or... something. You sound like the friggin' Terminator. No dice.

... was it Loki as a kid?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

About two fifths of what you just said made sense. But I'm not going to argue you with you; I know who I am. I don't care if you do.

_{( And not even touching that last part because stuff of nightmares. Yup. )}

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

[Well, Bucky never wore hotpants. So maybe this universe is just really fucked up.]

What's the best shot you ever made?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

_{( Flatly: )} Am I going to get asked which of my children is my favorite, next?

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

You don't have any kids.

[... pause.]

I don't think you have any kids.

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

_{( He actually laughs. )}

No. I don't have any kids.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

[hm.]

Okay, what's your real name?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

Barton.

What's yours?

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

[Huff.]

Sharpe.

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

Wow, kid. Was that a straight answer, and everything?

_{( So impressed. )}

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

That depends on whether or not you believe me, I guess.

[kanyeshrug.]

So what's the game-plan, then? I mean, you and Cap and Señor Hotpants gotta have something, right? Even if you're this weird alternate-universe, 'Reed Richards wouldn't have the First Damn Clue what to do with you' baby Avengers brigade?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

Lying about your name wouldn't matter. _{( Since he likely doesn't know you anyway! )}

Sure. That's what Avengers do, isn't it? Deal with crap like this.

_{( He only knows that in theory, but hey what the hell. )}

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

... How many missions have you guys gone on exactly? Like... have you ever faced down Doom, or an army of skrulls, or like... Kang?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

Now you're really just making half of these up.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

I'm really not.

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

Then whatever world or future you're from needs a lot of help.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

You think that fact's somehow escaped my notice?

[audio || private 95%]

[arches]

It might've. Landing on a magical island in the death sea can kind of knock the brains out of a person.

[audio || private 95%]

[sharpes]

Speak for yourself, hotshot.