001 ✤ audio

[akito]

Um... This is somewhat of a... strange and unfortunate situation... [ The voice that comes out is soft, feminine, and hesitant. Being without Agito is bad enough - being without Agito in what seems to be another universe is even worse.

He takes a deep breath and speaks again with more strength to his tone. ]

Waking up naked in a bath surrounded by a bunch of weird people isn't the best morning, ne? [ an awkward laugh goes here because he doesn't know what else to do. ] If they wanted someone who could fight evil they definitely picked the wrong person!

But I guess if they had to pick someone out of my friends, I'm glad they chose the least important one of us. [ he makes sure to say this very pointedly, in case the person who stole him away is listening and might realize their mistake. ] After all, I'm not one of the Kings or Queens anymore!

[ some more giggling. it's really hard not to panic. but he's trying hard not to panic. he is doing a bad job of not panicking but at least he's trying his best, right? once his giggling dies down his voice settles back into something more hesitant. ]

So, ah... I guess I need... Shoes? Does anyone know where I could get some sneakers? And maybe something to eat, too?

Comments

[audio]

[unconchonable]

"Least important one of us".

[He scrunches his nose in distaste, which is nearly audible in his tone.]

Well I guess you're right about pickin' the wrong person. 'Cos from the sounds a it, you're gonna be bloody useless.

[audio]

[akito]

I definitely am! They should just send me back already instead of wasting resources on me, ne?

[audio]

[unconchonable]

I agree. But chances are we won't be so lucky. So, how about you work on bein' a little less useless instead?

[audio]

[akito]

I'll think about it. They should really just cut their losses though, since it's definitely hopeless.

[audio]

[unconchonable]

There's plenty a useless people here that hawe been 'round for a long fuckin' time. Don't think they're lookin' to change any such policies any time soon. But I guess there is some use to someone worthless like you.

There's always need for cannon fodder when actual battles break out. You ain't ewen need to be particularly good at anythin' for it neither! Just stand there and look stupid. Somethin' I'm sure you'we mastered if the sound a you is any testimony.

[audio]

[akito]

I wouldn't be good at that either - I'm too small to be noticed on any sort of battlefield.

[audio]

[unconchonable]

Oh that's a easy fix, we could just put strobe lights on ya. You'd get ewerythin's attention.

[audio]

[akito]

Only if you stopped talking though, ne?

[audio]

[unconchonable]

Excuse me?

[Oh the butthurt is strong in that tone.]

[audio]

[akito]

If we're talking in terms of enemies with heightened hearing, then my visibility wouldn't be important if there were people talking loudly, ne? So everyone would have to be quiet, too.

[audio]

[unconchonable]

I could just shoot you in the fuckin' leg and leawe you screamin' in bloody agony. That could work too.

[audio]

[akito]

Ah, that wouldn't work. I don't scream when I get shot.

[audio]

[unconchonable]

Not ewen by searin' holy fire?

not here; for now, at least.

[puppetfetish]

_{[ sends guardian disapproval through the computer.
Come on, Eridan. Bro was thinking it, but you didn't have to actually say it. ]}

not here;

[unconchonable]

[SORRY THERE'S NO STOPPING THIS MOUTH FROM SAYING RUDE THINGS, MAN.]

and now, here. audio;

[puppetfetish]

I recall you being pretty useless yourself from the get go, man.
Did you ever even get a job.

audio;

[unconchonable]

I don't recall this conwersation ewer inwolwin' you.

[JOB?? WHAT JOB??]

audio;

[puppetfetish]

It always involves me when you start runnin' your fishy lips.
You know I keep tabs on you. Somebody has to.

Position for royal fabric manager is still available.

audio;

[unconchonable]

So you're stalkin' me.

[A beat.]

Still stalkin' me. Do you not hawe nothin' better to do?

[HE IS DUTIFULLY IGNORING THAT JOB OFFER. For now.]

audio;

[puppetfetish]

_{[ let's push his buttons a little. ]}

Sort-of stalk you.
Found better, more important people to focus on.

audio;

[unconchonable]

[Do you hear that sudden, indignant draw in of breath? Cuz that was a thing. Too bad this is audio, because he's puffing up rather butthurt like.]

Well then I don't see why you hawen't outright stopped. That is, if you'we found those you wrongfully deign as more important.

[There's even a little huff at the end of that.]

audio;

[puppetfetish]

See, you're not low on my totem pole. Not great either.
You're so-so on the stalking totem pole.
Only so-so.
Like lukewarm water. Not hot or cold.
Or a decent haircut. Not completely shaved off but not something really fashionable either.
That's how I see it.
That's why I'm still watching you.

audio;

[unconchonable]

Well you should stop altogether. I didn't ask for your fuckin' opinion on me either. So, just.

Fuck off.

[Gosh Bro, if you're gonna stalk him, at least make him feel flattered??? Eridan that's some fucked up and dumb standards towards stalkers....]

audio; 1.2

[puppetfetish]

Maybe if you were an employee of mine, I'd find more value in you as a person to watch more intently.
_{[ bro strider. ]}

audio; 2.2

[puppetfetish]

You'll be hearing from me.

_{[ aaaand, bro out. ]}