tushanshu | 002 Audio - The One Where Mike Tries To Barter

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002 Audio - The One Where Mike Tries To Barter

So...okay. Here's the thing. I can live frugal. I'm good at living frugal. There are fewer people out there who can dumpster dive as efficiently as I can. Trust me, my stone soup? Is amazing. I can make a Reclaimed Tuna Casserole Surprise that will knock your socks off.

As awesome as I am, even I can't make something from literally nothing, which is kind of what I've got at the moment. I say kind of because I have a whole bunch of little pots of home-made Floating Fruit preserves, jams, and jellies, and now that I'm officially out of money, I'm looking to trade them for...anything edible that isn't floating fruit. I've had my fill, thanks.

So, anyone out there interesting in jam for say...chocolate?
Or jam for bread?
Or jam for...seriously, anything.

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I'm not zen! Trust me. I'm paranoid, a lot. And nervous. I'm a big naysayer. Zen people are usually not those things.

Bah, I'm sure they are, they're just better at hiding it because of all the Zen.

Makes sense. I guess that would make them better at not revealing themselves.

Secret ninja zen people, sure.

Anything's possible, right?

[There's a small laugh from Mike.]

You know, before I got here? I kind of thought that was more a saying than a promise.

Me, too. As many weird things as I've seen back home, it's only been multiplied by one hundred here.

Ugh, tell me about it. Everything was going just fine until boom we're blind-sided by random from out of left field.

That's all that happens here. Blindsided by random out of left field. [A pause.] I'm Vanessa, by the way.

Yeeaaaah,I've been noticing that, Vanessa. I'm Mike.

It's nice to meet you, Mike. I wouldn't expect things to be all that normal around here, basically.

Likewise.

[The he just laughs.]

You're only saying that because we're in an entirely new universe living on the back of an enormous turtle.

Hey, to be fair, that's a pretty good reason to be saying that.

[Mike continues to laugh.]

I really can't argue that at all. Not at all.

Hard to.

[A pause.] So, did you wanna do the trade, or are you still trying to convince me into keeping my chocolate?

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