(no subject)

[backinakidflash]

[The feed clicks on to reveal a red-headed teen with yellow eyes, who's currently peering at the device like it's going to explode.]

Okay, power button. Check. I thought this could be like that episode of The Twilight Zone where they execute people by blowing up in their rooms and that maybe someone was clever for a change and made the self-destruct button look like the on/off. But! Obviously not, because I'm still here.

I think I'm getting paranoid. It's like there's this voice in my head going -

[Bart holds two fingers up to either side of his head, so they stick up through his hair like ears.]

"Trust nothing."

[He puts his arms down, and he really drops them. They're just suddenly gone, and the camera picks up maybe two frames of the action, but even that's a little lost in a yellow flash. Bart only laughs with relief.]

Hey! Look at that, they weren't lying about that either. Now, if it would just hurry up and work all the time.

So, uh. Hi. Bart Allen. Anyone know where to find the games on this thing? I gotta pass the time until the rest of you slow down.

Comments

text

[hackingyoursensors]

So 'Allen'? I take it you're related to Barry Allen?

text

[backinakidflash]

That's not really a question.

perma-text; anonymous; Batcryption 100%

[hackingyoursensors]

Well, where I'm from, Barry Allen doesn't have any kids.

perma-text

[backinakidflash]

Barry Allen having kids is more of a when-you're-from detail.

[hackingyoursensors]

You don't seem too weirded out.

[backinakidflash]

That no one from the 21st century knows that Barry Allen has kids? I'm used to it. It's 30th century news.

[hackingyoursensors]

[Um...]

Just how far into the future are you?

[backinakidflash]

You're gonna have to be more specific.

Are you asking me when I was born, when I'm from, or how many generations between me and Barry?

[Bart enjoys this a teensy bit, oh yes.]

[hackingyoursensors]

This is revenge for the toilet thing, isn't it?

Generations.

[backinakidflash]

Nope. Kinda. But none of the answers match up against each other, so I have to know which one you're asking.

He's my grandfather.

[hackingyoursensors]

Why do I get the feeling there's some weird, complicated time travel involved?

Hope you've got experience with alternate dimensions too, since that's a common occurrence here.

[backinakidflash]

Because there's lots of weird, complicated time-travel involved.

And yeah. I do.

That just crossed a ton of names off the list of people here that you could be.

[hackingyoursensors]

Okay. Who might I be?

[Sorry, he has to have fun somehow.]

[backinakidflash]

An alternate version of one of the following:

Wally West
Dick Grayson
Zatanna Zatarra
Roy Harper

Or an Aqualad that isn't Garth, whatever that means.

[hackingyoursensors]

It's one of those "you guys turned right and we turned left." Garth exists in our world, just not as Aqualad.

Alright, out of those five, which am I?

[Well, safe to say that Bart knows his secret ID. His Bruce would be having a conniption right now.]

[backinakidflash]

Dude, I don't know. I'm not good at stuff like this.

Okay. Not not-Aqualad, after that sentence. You're definitely not Wally, unless he's really not Wally. Roy Harper's way more rude.

Zatanna or Dick. I don't know her, really, so I don't know if she'd be doing this super secret text stuff when everyone else has used video.

But my best friend is a Bat, and he would if he hadn't recognized me. So, hi, not Dick.

[video; 100% Batcryption, etc]

[hackingyoursensors]

[He switches to video so Bart can hear his applause.]

Nice job. But if you're going to call me not-Dick, I'm going to call you not-Bart.

[video; private; it's the best he can do]

[backinakidflash]

Thanks. You kinda blew it with being so secretive.

If it makes you feel better, I cheated. I had a list of everyone we know who was here from someone else. If you hadn't asked about alternate dimensions, I wouldn't have gotten it down to five.

Just Bart's good. What are you going by in public?

[hackingyoursensors]

I only have two settings: paranoid and more paranoid.

[He's kidding.]

Most people here only know Dick Grayson. When I'm wearing the mask, I go by Robin, obviously.

[backinakidflash]

Dick or Rob, got it. I'll check for the mask before I say anything.

You sound way too much like Bats there. Don't rush the timeline.

[hackingyoursensors]

Don't worry. You'll only need to stage an intervention if I stop telling jokes.

[backinakidflash]

Is that something you guys need a lot?

[hackingyoursensors]

I don't know. I'm the only one in danger of it back home.

So, anything your source left out that I might be able to answer for you?

[backinakidflash]

Yeah, he left out the part where you're younger than we are. But I'm gonna say you're sick of having that one pointed out. This place is crazy, but everyone else seems chill about it so I'm gonna go with the flow for now. I figure I'll either pick up enough that it'll make sense or, you know, the nonsensical nature of living on a giant turtle will drive me insane like the rest of you.

Any nosy questions to prove who I am?

[hackingyoursensors]

Hey, I'm perfectly sane. [Sort of.]

No, not really. I don't know you, so I wouldn't know what to ask anyway. Being a speedster is proof enough anyway. They're not exactly common.