tushanshu | (no subject)

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[The feed clicks on to reveal a red-headed teen with yellow eyes, who's currently peering at the device like it's going to explode.]

Okay, power button. Check. I thought this could be like that episode of The Twilight Zone where they execute people by blowing up in their rooms and that maybe someone was clever for a change and made the self-destruct button look like the on/off. But! Obviously not, because I'm still here.

I think I'm getting paranoid. It's like there's this voice in my head going -

[Bart holds two fingers up to either side of his head, so they stick up through his hair like ears.]

"Trust nothing."

[He puts his arms down, and he really drops them. They're just suddenly gone, and the camera picks up maybe two frames of the action, but even that's a little lost in a yellow flash. Bart only laughs with relief.]

Hey! Look at that, they weren't lying about that either. Now, if it would just hurry up and work all the time.

So, uh. Hi. Bart Allen. Anyone know where to find the games on this thing? I gotta pass the time until the rest of you slow down.

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Yeah, I'm not growing that much right now, and I showed up in street clothes, so I had to make do.

[But, you know. He's kind of a batscout, and it's not all that bad, as far as homemade costumes go.]

Oh, yeah, definitely. I'll let you know. Should be awesome.

Of course. I'll work on my precognition skills. Every Robin should be able to see the future.

At least you had shoes that weren't obvious yellow boots?

[Bart slides down in his seat a little as he puts his foot up on the desk. He's wearing just socks.]

Cause that's all that came with me.

Sorry. I'm kinda glad that Max isn't here. That a lot of people aren't here. [I WOULD BE SO GROUNDED RIGHT NOW.] Is that stupid?

Heh. True. I have perfectly serviceable, non-Robin-like shoes, which is a definite plus.

And don't worry about it. It was kind of my fault. [shrug] Definitely not stupid, though. Nice as is it to have all the familiar faces of people we can trust around, I don't think I'd wish anyone here.

How do you wear those things? With the cleft toes or whatever you want to call them? They look like those socks people get so they can wear flip-flops in January. Like. It's winter. Give up the ghost.

And... yeah. I'd rather no one be here. I feel better about it with you guys around, but that doesn't mean I'm happy knowing my friends are caught between life and death and sleep too.

They're surprisingly comfortable once you get used to them. And excellent for climbing. But I totally agree about the flop-flops.

That's... exactly how I feel about it actually. Right on the nose.

You know that moment when you realize you've got no right to complain about something to a particular person?

[Bart sighs and looks contrite, drumming his fingers before he catches himself.]

Yeah. I'm sorry. Didn't think this topic through.

Don't worry about it. It's... we're all in the same boat here, right?

It's a big boat, yeah.

You should catch me up later. In person.

Count on it.

I've--

[Nope, never mind. Not doing feelings.]

[Bart is attempting to fix the feed through the time honored method of smacking the console.]

Stupid thing. What was that?

[Whoop. Uh.]

Don't worry about it--it wasn't important.

[Bart just. Raises an eyebrow at this. He's not stupid, and that was obvious. If it was no biggie, Why not repeat it?]

Right. I'll catch you later. You saw that they put me in ME-3B, yeah?

[This conversation is not over.]

[Damn it, Bart, why can't you be oblivious like you were when they were kids?]

I saw. I'm in 2-A. Want me to come by?

[Because he's growing up. Again.]

No. I'm happening to namedrop my address even though I know you have like fifteen of these consoles grouped into a command center and you probably already saw that I told Kon where to find me because the one thing I do all the time is stutter.

Yeah, come over. It doesn't have to be now.

[That surprises a snicker out of Tim.]

You're making me miss my command center back home. A lot.

I'm really just... talking to you right now. [And stalking the network like a creeper.] I guess it's kind of ridiculous to do it like this when we're practically neighbors. I'll be right there.

[Bart just laughs and shakes his head.]

Bats. you know some of us do okay without any command center at all. Just a couple of police scanners.

[Nod.]

And I'll be right here.

And we? Have no idea how the rest of you get by like that.

[And then he signs off, because he can't exactly walk and talk here. A short time later, Bart gets a knock at the door.]

[Bart pulls open the door and picks up the conversation like it never stopped.]

Being a speedster helps, really. We don't know how you guys do it either.

[Smiling, he stands clear of the door so Tim can enter.]

Get a mental image. It'll be a mess tomorrow.

Lots of surveillance helps.

[Have a quick grin as he steps inside, and he mimes taking a picture of the neat space.] I'll try to keep this in mind the next time I come by. So I can remember where the floor is.

Stalker much?

[It's very much a teasing response. He's got nothing to hide from any of the Gothamites.]

The floor's always down, the ceiling's up. Welcome to Gravity, the ridiculously stupid reality show that's taken the turtle by storm. I'm your host, Bart Allen.

[He drops the overdone announcer voice that he's built up, quite suddenly.]

Woah, double meaning that's too on point. I was. About to ask you how you were.

[Gravity vs. gravity.]

[Just a grin and no response to the stalker comment, because... duh, of course.]

You say that like there's no possibility of up being down and vice versa. [Come on. Weirder things have happened.]

Oh? Good thing you caught yourself with a pun, first. Things could have gotten serious.

You say that like being upside down changes the meaning of up and down for everyone, and not just for you. I could be colorblind and say the sky was gray everyday, but that doesn't change the color of the sky or the definition of blue or gray. That didn't have enough snap to it.

[Bart shrugs and looks around the room for a second. He's still trying to think of a better retort for the up/down thing and is glancing down at the floor when he sees (and is thereby reminded) that he's still wearing his pajama pants. And forget even trying to hide them this time - if Kon noticed, Tim noticed. Yeah, going with the best defense is a good offense here, as if bright red needs attention called to it. Bart deliberately, obviously deliberately, brushes his hand against his thigh where the lightning bolt insignia was (subtle, what is subtle?).]

A few quick things - [Snerk] - one, they're from the museum, and the money goes to charity. Any crap you give me will result in me convincing Linda to do a 'Whatever Happened to Mr. Sarcastic' segment when I get home. Two, that wasn't an intentional pun. Three, I'm serious. I've been using you like an information booth. I am serious: how are you, how long have you been stuck here, all of that. I want to know.

And finally, Flash fact: the insignia is express permission to make all the puns that I want. It's more than that; it's a demand that I make them. So if you want to come in my house and bring a knife to a pun fight, well, better not just chirp at me, Robin. Bring it on.

[He has tried to stay serious through that. Really, he has. But Bart's clearly holding back the biggest guffaw of laughter ever.]

Edited 2013-07-11 10:56 (UTC)

[Tim holds his hands up as if to say 'who me?' and shrugs slightly before dropping them again. The very picture of innocence, and totally not trying not to laugh. At all.] I don't think I said a word about your charitably-minded pajama bottoms, did I? Very stylish, by the way, please don't mention Mr. Sarcastic to Linda.

[All casual, conversational, no big deal. He gives Bart a tiny smile.]

You know I don't mind being an information booth, right? It's always nice to be needed. And I'm... okay. It can get a little... [he holds up a hand and shifts it from side to side in a 'so-so' gesture] around here sometimes, but I think I'm managing. And I got here... Hm. Almost eight months?

[Bart is only managing to not laugh on a extremely debatable technicality, because he's laughing so hard that its completely silent. He's grinning and ducking his head to the side, before turning the rest of himself to profile as well to try and hide how he's shaking with laughter at everything - his own stupid puns, Tim's innocent look that somehow still manages to work on Bart even though he totally knows better, and that outfit: the fur and the flames and the fishnet. After a few seconds, he's calmed down and faces Tim again, one hand waving the idea away while the other is wiping at his eyes and then brushing back the hair that's fallen into his face.]

No. God, no. She'd want an interview, and there's no way. I mean - how did you get the fake tattoos the same every time?

[Which almost starts him laughing again, because Bart really feels better for this half of the discussion. Hearing that Tim's been here for eight months sobers him somewhat.]

So what you're saying is I'm late to the party. Figures. [He shrugs.] Dude. You're always needed.

Edited 2013-07-12 15:08 (UTC)

Trade secret. [He holds his own fingers up next to his head in Bart's own 'bat ears' gesture, and finally lets his own grin out.] And you say that like you think I don't still have that cape somewhere.

[He drops his hands again.] It's been kind of a trickle of people. You're not the only one, and I'm not anywhere near the first.

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[Video; private, now with added Bruce-proofing!]

[Video; private, now with added Bruce-proofing!]

[Video; private, now with added Bruce-proofing!]

[Video; private, now with added Bruce-proofing!]

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I see your icon and match you. Love that panel.

Me too--so much.

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