I; [video]

[raisethemoon]

[The video comes on to reveal an alicorn gazing seriously at the screen, head held proudly and wings slightly spread. It took her several practice runs to ensure that she was working the machine correctly; of course she wouldn't risk talking to anypony else until she had. Now, though, she is the picture of cool, calm royalty. In other words, she's doing the Celestia.]

Good evening to all. I am Luna, Princess of Equestria and the Moon, bringer of night and keeper of dreams. I know not by what power or authority this Emperor hath brought us hither, but I care not. I shall return to my people, and I swear that I shall see all of thee returned to thine. Now, I pray that thou wilt be willing to share whatever information thou hast gathered about our plight? [She glances off-screen, eyes narrowed.] Perhaps beginning with why my rooms are infested with these small furry beasts. On that note, I have a great deal of furniture I wish to dispose of...

[Her feathers ruffle and she shifts her weight a little, suddenly looking rather less certain of herself. She doesn't like it here, and that furniture is really just driving it home for her. Alone again, so soon? After a moment, she adds in a quieter tone:] ...also, should any Equestrians be present, stay where thou art. I shall come to thee.

Comments

[raisethemoon]

Everyone says that, too. Am I to infer that thou hast ponies on thy planet that do not speak?

[backinakidflash]

Does neighing and whinnying count?

[He manages to restrain himself and not attempt to make horse sounds, because she's so polite and formal.]

[raisethemoon]

[That still gets something of a flat look.]

No.

[backinakidflash]

[Oops. He feels rather bad about that one, but it's the truth. Sometimes, facts are hard to sugarcoat.]

Oh. Then I guess they don't. They'd probably complain if they did.

[Open mouth, insert foot.]

[raisethemoon]

Then they are non-sentient?

[Oh. Oh, that is strange and deeply disturbing.]

How dost thy species use them, to be worthy of complaint? [If you say that you eat them she will stay in her apartments and speak only with the dragons for the rest of her time here.]

[backinakidflash]

They're alive, and they can think enough. I guess. They don't really do much on their own. Just sorta mosey around and eat grass. They can be trained though.

[Bart scratches his head and tries to put it nicely. Now is not the time for factoids like how some cultures consider horse meat a delicacy (not his!!) or to use the term 'beasts of burden'.] Mostly they use them on farms. And people like to ride them and watch them race.

[raisethemoon]

...I see.

[Excuse her while she attempts to digest this information.]

Well, that explains a good amount.

[Another pause]

If any of you attempt to ride me, I shall fling thee headlong into the sea.

[backinakidflash]

[Welp. She took that pretty well, all things considered. Bart is hoping that no one gets flung into the sea, but, if someone jumped on his back, dug their heels into his flank, and shouted 'giddy up!', he'd be pissed off too.]

I'm gonna hope everyone's smart enough to not try without asking your permission first...

Make sure they don't drown please?

[raisethemoon]

Of course not... [She gives him another once-over.] Can you not swim?

[backinakidflash]

Some humans can, some humans can't. It depends on if you learned before - and the time to is not when you get thrown in.

[raisethemoon]

That is fair enough.