A. Enjolras (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
solo_patria) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tushanshu2013-08-01 03:06 pm
solo_patria) wrote in tushanshu2013-08-01 03:06 pm
Entry tags:
post: Video
[Have an incredibly awkward looking Enjolras, who is, nonetheless, facing the camera straight on. There is really more just an uncomfortable gaze in his eye as he stares out, glances at a sheet of paper that he obviously does not really need and takes a breath to steady himself before beginning.]
I have learned recently that I posses the grand ability to hurt people without realizing that I do it. I do not mean to be careless with anyone but it has happened again recently, because I allowed it to happen, and I would like to take this moment to issue an apology to those of you I have unintentionally hurt by shutting you out over the past month. Because it felt easier, I have run away from my problems, hid from them, and from my closest friends, who I have, mostly, avoided since our work in the field here concluded.
I have lied to all of you since then, on a great number of inconsequential matters, broken some implied promises [Yeah, that thing where he told Gavroche he was eating? That's one of them.] and hidden, rather than face and deal with the truth.
The truth then, all of it, is that Ma...[Wait. He's not supposed to say its name and he knows better. So he's clearing his throat and starting again.] The truth is that the shadow being that I encountered acquainted me with some aspects of myself I had long ago assumed I had under control or had never seriously considered as detrimental or harmful until now.
[Have a moment where Enjolras is pausing, consulting that paper, paling, but starring onward into the screen. He heard and wrote what he's going to say next but that does not mean it is at all pleasant.]
For my friends who've come here from my home, I have never meant to be so careless with you as I've been in the past. Never careless with your lives, but careless with your feelings and our friendships. Consider this as a public admission and the start of an apology if you would have it. I do not wish to lose you, but what have I done this month but make it very possible?
To the new friends I have spoken to who have helped me to see reason, or been needed distractions at a time like this, thank you.
Speaking truthfully to all of you, I am quite far removed from what would consider 'all right', 'fine' or anything in between, but I intend, if there is a way, to recover. Will you help me find the way to start that?
[And here, Enjolras isn't shifting exactly, but there's a hand near his ear and he seems to be scratching at it behind his hair a little. Oh dear.]
On another note, attempting to self pierce one's ear with a needle is perhaps not the best of ways to go about it. Might there be a professional on this network willing to perform that service for me?
I have learned recently that I posses the grand ability to hurt people without realizing that I do it. I do not mean to be careless with anyone but it has happened again recently, because I allowed it to happen, and I would like to take this moment to issue an apology to those of you I have unintentionally hurt by shutting you out over the past month. Because it felt easier, I have run away from my problems, hid from them, and from my closest friends, who I have, mostly, avoided since our work in the field here concluded.
I have lied to all of you since then, on a great number of inconsequential matters, broken some implied promises [Yeah, that thing where he told Gavroche he was eating? That's one of them.] and hidden, rather than face and deal with the truth.
The truth then, all of it, is that Ma...[Wait. He's not supposed to say its name and he knows better. So he's clearing his throat and starting again.] The truth is that the shadow being that I encountered acquainted me with some aspects of myself I had long ago assumed I had under control or had never seriously considered as detrimental or harmful until now.
[Have a moment where Enjolras is pausing, consulting that paper, paling, but starring onward into the screen. He heard and wrote what he's going to say next but that does not mean it is at all pleasant.]
For my friends who've come here from my home, I have never meant to be so careless with you as I've been in the past. Never careless with your lives, but careless with your feelings and our friendships. Consider this as a public admission and the start of an apology if you would have it. I do not wish to lose you, but what have I done this month but make it very possible?
To the new friends I have spoken to who have helped me to see reason, or been needed distractions at a time like this, thank you.
Speaking truthfully to all of you, I am quite far removed from what would consider 'all right', 'fine' or anything in between, but I intend, if there is a way, to recover. Will you help me find the way to start that?
[And here, Enjolras isn't shifting exactly, but there's a hand near his ear and he seems to be scratching at it behind his hair a little. Oh dear.]
On another note, attempting to self pierce one's ear with a needle is perhaps not the best of ways to go about it. Might there be a professional on this network willing to perform that service for me?
video; 95% batcrypted
I am wondering if, once you are feeling more stable, you would consider divulging information about your experience for - the sake of those who would fight that shadow.
Re: video; 95% batcrypted
[It's a kind of tact that Enjolras would recognize himself, perhaps, deliberate as it seems, if he were in a better state of mine just now. As it is, well, Damian does make sense.]
I would be willing, yes. I do not have MUCH that I can tell, but I am willing if it will help another in my position, yes
video; 95% batcrypted
Thank you. Even a little would be more than we knew before.
video; 95% batcrypted
[The thing that broke Enjolras, through all of this, was more his reminder to look inside himself, and and his horror at the darkness found there. Mentioning Malicant at least, is a bit different. Sort of.]
video; 95% batcrypted
That will be appreciated, yes. Whether or not we receive the written or verbal version.
I wish you success on your quest to... resolve what you are perceiving as transgressions.
Re: video; 95% batcrypted
I...ah...thank you?
video; 95% batcrypted
Get better.
Re: video; 95% batcrypted
video; 95% batcrypted