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Good morning Keeliai, how are we all today?

[Steph is sitting at her console, leaning back in her chair with her legs propped up on the desk. She's smiling, and for those that know her, it's the sort of smile that should be extremely concerning. Those that don't know her may also be feeling like they're about to hear something they don't want to.

She is going to be a terrible person today.]

I'm going to preface this message by saying that anyone under the age of 16, or whatever the age of legality is where you're from, should tune out now, please and thank you. I'm not gonna be explicit or anything, but it's probably not going to be appropriate for kids. [she gives a pointed look, yes you, Damian, switch off the computer now.]

I was taking an anthropology class back home, and my professor happens to be here too. [she wrinkles her nose, like yes, I know that's super weird, how do you think I feel?] And he's been giving me assignments and stuff, because apparently being kidnapped by a giant turtle isn't a valid excuse not to keep up with coursework. The topic we'd been studying before I got brought here was human sexuality, and Professor Craig suggested I write a paper on kedan sexuality instead. [Hi Bruce.] Except, uh, after the last couple weeks, I'm not really keen on that idea.

But I have been thinking about all these people with superpowers running around, and like - we've got comics back home, right? But they tend to focus on the whole defeating supervillains and stopping alien invasions side of things, which is great, sure, I love a good action story, but there's something that just never really comes up.

[she looks directly at the camera, the very picture of scientific curiosity] Do they - or, do you, for the superpowered people in the audience - ever use their powers for sex? This isn't a rhetorical question, by the way, if you have used your powers in the bedroom, feel free to share with the class.

And in the interest of not excluding anyone from the conversation, anyone who's just a regular old human, or whathaveyou, you can discuss what sort of powers you'd like to have, and how you'd use them to impress the gender-of-your-preference.

Don't feel like you have to respond directly to me, you're more than welcome to talk amongst yourselves. I figured we could use a little lighthearted chat to take our minds off the situation. Don't you agree?

[She winks, clearly trying not to laugh, and sits back in her chair to wait for responses]

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No. I'm. I'll. Be. Fine. [Can words. Still has his head in his hands tho. It's slightly easier to speak when he's staring at his palms instead of at anything else.]

You might wanna work on stringing a sentence together, if you want to sound convincing. [She does feel a little guilty. Just a little]

That was a sentence. [HEY SO WAS THAT. He has at least progressed to covering his face with one hand instead of both.]

Getting closer. Do I need to give you some pearls to clutch?

[Well that gets him to drop his hands and give her a half-hearted glare. It's unconvincing. Being convincing is hard when you still look like you'll implode at any moment.] I wasn't.

[SENTENCES. YOU ARE NOT BEING SNOGGED IN THE STACKS, ROGERS, YOU CAN WORD.] I didn't expect it. That's all.

You totally were.

[Okay she does actually look a little apologetic] Sorry. I really wasn't trying to give anyone a heart attack.

[A faint laugh at that.] I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm. This sort of thing -

[Nope words gone again.]

You're...? [finish your sentences, Steve]

[PAINFULLY RED AGAIN.] This isn't. Really. My area.

[He's doing that thing with his hands where he makes little circles because there are thoughts and they aren't forming properly.] Peggy is the first woman I've ever- [NOPE COMPLETE SHUTDOWN NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS. The hand-circles collapse into handwaving.] This is Bucky's sort of thing.

[Oh no Steve.

Okay Steph isn't actually going to make fun of him for being a virgin, because she's not a jerk, so her tone is a little more gentle] You don't have to have experience to have given it some thought.

I did notice that about Bucky, though. [Steph what are you suggesting?]

I... have. [That last part is very faint. He ducks his head because if he looks at her right now he really will spontaneously combust.] We were waiting.

[Another breathy laugh and he rubs his nose, still not looking at her.] Yeah, he's not very subtle.

Waiting is perfectly acceptable. [That's actually really sweet, Steph kind of just wants to give Steve a hug]

Neither am I. [Not that she's - thinking much about Bucky.

Because Brandon. And.

Stuff.

Fuck.]

[Slowly. Getting more comfortable.] There was never a woman interested in -

[Hand circles. BECAUSE SAYING THE WORD SEX IS STILL BEYOND HIM. FONDUE. DANCING. MAKE IT STOP.] Me. That way. Before Peggy. And then with the war... We both had more important things to think about. Being together was the part that mattered, and even then - she's a woman in the military. I would never endanger that.

[AWKWARD TURTLE SHRUG. And then that last part about her not being subtle registers and he makes another strangled noise.] Did Bucky- No, no, I don't. Please don't. Forget I asked. No, don't not forget I asked, but don't... [DEEP BREATH.] Forget I said anything.

Edited 2012-09-23 01:42 (UTC)

[Steph finds that first bit hard to believe because uh, look at him, not to mention the fact he's the sweetest person she's ever met.]

Makes sense. Though I'm starting to think you might actually be too nice to be a real person. [A guy prioritizing his SO's career over his dick should not be that surprising to her. And yet.]

It's okay, Steve, we just went swimming. [Not a euphemism!]

...Thank you. [There's sincerity in it that might seem disproportionate to her compliment. But it's good to hear, especially given Steve's conversation with Bruce Wayne, and Steve's refusing to promise he'd never kill again.

Not a good soldier, but a good man. A promise he'd give his life to keep. A promise he hadn't been sure he's lived up to - that he's still not sure he's lived up to. But hearing from someone who's seen him fight that he's at least nice. It's something.

He winces.] I'm not. Trying to pry. If the two of you want to - well, that's. I mean. [WHY IS HE TRYING TO GIVE PERMISSION FOR THIS.]

Edited (editing forever) 2012-09-23 06:28 (UTC)

[Not quite the reaction she was expecting, but if she managed to say something Right, even if it was while teasing him. Well, she can live with that.] You're welcome. You and Peggy are lucky to have each other.

[That reaction she was expecting, and she can't help give a little grin.] You mean? [Stephanie play nice.]

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