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[controlledvariable]

Good morning Keeliai, how are we all today?

[Steph is sitting at her console, leaning back in her chair with her legs propped up on the desk. She's smiling, and for those that know her, it's the sort of smile that should be extremely concerning. Those that don't know her may also be feeling like they're about to hear something they don't want to.

She is going to be a terrible person today.]

I'm going to preface this message by saying that anyone under the age of 16, or whatever the age of legality is where you're from, should tune out now, please and thank you. I'm not gonna be explicit or anything, but it's probably not going to be appropriate for kids. [she gives a pointed look, yes you, Damian, switch off the computer now.]

I was taking an anthropology class back home, and my professor happens to be here too. [she wrinkles her nose, like yes, I know that's super weird, how do you think I feel?] And he's been giving me assignments and stuff, because apparently being kidnapped by a giant turtle isn't a valid excuse not to keep up with coursework. The topic we'd been studying before I got brought here was human sexuality, and Professor Craig suggested I write a paper on kedan sexuality instead. [Hi Bruce.] Except, uh, after the last couple weeks, I'm not really keen on that idea.

But I have been thinking about all these people with superpowers running around, and like - we've got comics back home, right? But they tend to focus on the whole defeating supervillains and stopping alien invasions side of things, which is great, sure, I love a good action story, but there's something that just never really comes up.

[she looks directly at the camera, the very picture of scientific curiosity] Do they - or, do you, for the superpowered people in the audience - ever use their powers for sex? This isn't a rhetorical question, by the way, if you have used your powers in the bedroom, feel free to share with the class.

And in the interest of not excluding anyone from the conversation, anyone who's just a regular old human, or whathaveyou, you can discuss what sort of powers you'd like to have, and how you'd use them to impress the gender-of-your-preference.

Don't feel like you have to respond directly to me, you're more than welcome to talk amongst yourselves. I figured we could use a little lighthearted chat to take our minds off the situation. Don't you agree?

[She winks, clearly trying not to laugh, and sits back in her chair to wait for responses]

Comments

[controlledvariable]

That one player is pretty good at getting points.

[Okay.

Making fun of sports and small talk.

She's not entirely sure what they're doing but at least no one is crying.]

[sharpes]

And getting benched. But I blame the ref on that one. Man, talk about bad calls.

[He has no idea how to deal with this. So what is he doing? Not dealing with it.

At least his breathing has evened out.]

[controlledvariable]

That sure was... a... thing... [a beat] Okay, we've officially hit the limit on my knowledge of sports.

[what now?] Can I get you a coffee or something?

[operation Pretend This Never Happened is go]

[sharpes]

... Yeah. Coffee sounds-- yeah.

[He. Just doesn't really want to look at her but he's too scared of screwing everything up to actually run away. He does get to his feet, though, hands plastered flat back against the door.]

[controlledvariable]

[Steph sits, then stands, casting a brief, hesitant glance at Brandon before she starts towards the kitchen.]

There's a-- bathroom. [she waves a hand in the direction of it without turning to look at him. She's pretty sure he knows where the bathroom is, but she's pointing it out as a (somewhat) subtle way to let him know it's okay if he wants to go wash his face. Or whatever.

She's just going to put on a pot of coffee and pretend her hands aren't shaking.]

[sharpes]

[... he doesn't even say anything, he just. goes. wordlessly.

And he's there for a while, too. Fingers curled around the carved sandstone sink, refusing to look in the mirror. He's running water that he doesn't even care about wasting and he just.

He's so angry. More at Rick than Steph. God, he just-- feels so ruined.

So yeah. He's in there for a while.]

[controlledvariable]

[Steph waits for the first few minutes, puttering around the kitchen to try to keep her hands and her mind busy. After it's clear he's not planning on coming out straight away, she gives herself a moment to unravel.

She covers her mouth with her hand, to muffle her sobs, and just - cries, because she doesn't know what else to do, because she's been holding back tears for a while now, because she's so fucking sick of everything being so fucked up.

She only lets herself have a minute, and then she sucks in a few harsh breaths, splashes her face with water, and goes back to pretending nothing happened.]

[sharpes]

[... he sneaks back out after a while. You ever hear the phrase 'nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs'? Yeah.

He absolutely isn't looking at her as he slides into one of the chairs at her table and just... sits there. Quietly. Like a kid waiting for a reprimand.]

[controlledvariable]

[That makes two of them. She walks over, puts a mug of coffee down in front of him, then takes a seat across from him. Instead of looking up, she traces her finger around the rim of her now half-empty mug.

But she can't stay silent forever, it's just now who she is]

I want to fix this. [What she broke by being too pushy]

[sharpes]

Look, it's not-- it's not you, okay? It's-- this whole fucked up thing.

[His fingers fold reflexively around the mug.]

[controlledvariable]

I brought it up. And I can't take it back, as much as I wish I could.

[she takes a breath, runs a hand over her face and then forces her gaze up] I really like you, Brandon, and I meant it when I said this doesn't change anything for me. I still want to give this a shot, but I'll-- I'll get it, if you don't want to.

I just don't want it to be like this. All... strained. And you sitting there like you can't even look at me.

[sharpes]

[He flinches.]

It's not you. It's not you. I promised I'd look out for you, how can I even do that when I can't--

[Not his fault. He knows that. He knows it. But knowing something and feeling it are two damned different things and ne'er the twain shall meet.]

[controlledvariable]

He's dead, isn't he? [She's not sure if that's the right thing to say, but there it is.]

[sharpes]

[frown.]

I told you I killed him.

[what does that have to--

oh.]

[controlledvariable]

[Okay. He looks like he's got it. She reaches across the table touch her fingers against his hand where it's wrapped around the mug, but that's all she'll do for now]

I trust you to look out for me.

[sharpes]

I don't want to kill people, Steph.

[He doesn't exactly flinch away from her but his fingers do tighten on that mug.]

[controlledvariable]

[Oh god she literally cannot win.

Just. headdesk.]

That's not what I was trying to say.

[why is she so bad at this?]

[sharpes]

Then what?

[WHY IS HE SO BAD AT THIS.]

[controlledvariable]

[She drags her head off the table like it's an effort and pushes both hands through her hair.]

I'm trying to be reassuring! [she's annoyed, but it's pretty clearly directed at herself] Apparently I'm really shit at it, though.

[sharpes]

[He just. Laughs.]

Man. No kidding.

[controlledvariable]

[Wow thanks Brandon.

Except that actually makes her feel a little better. At least he can laugh about something, even if it's her]

It's a work in progress.

[She's fine when it's strangers, but when emotions get involved she tends to make a mess of it]

[sharpes]

[He rubs a hand through his hair. The ends all stick up with static. Call it a side-effect of his being so unsettled.]

I can deal with in-progress. If you can deal with fucked-up.

[controlledvariable]

I can deal with fucked up. It's not like I'm perfect, anyway.

[Even without bringing up her own abuse, there's still.

the Sionis thing.

And everything.

She swallows down the sudden urge to tell him everything lurking in her past. This isn't the time to say "I have a daughter"]

[sharpes]

[A wan smile, though it fades shortly thereafter.]

Look, I don't -- I don't want you to make a big deal out of this. It's not, okay? It's fine. And don't-- it's nobody else's business.

[But he is relaxing a little.]

[controlledvariable]

I won't, I get - that. [She understands what it's like to not want it to be a big deal] And I'll keep my mouth shut. I'm not that bad at this.

[She wonders if Cass will read it on her, if she goes to her for a hug later, but that's something she'll deal with if it happens]