tushanshu | video;

[HELLO, TURTLEITES. There is a lanky boy with a streak of oil on one cheek grinning dumbly at all of you.]

Hello, citizens of the turtle! Salutations and stuff, or whatever! [And he gives a stupid, dorky salute, his voice mockingly imitating the tone of someone giving a formal address to the adoring masses.] It has come to my attention that people have been concerned about my well-being during my hamster state, and I would like to assure everyone that I am completely fine.

[And he drops the formal tone as he waves a hand dismissively in the air.] But really, I've been in worse situations, and some jerks do a lot more than turn other guys into hamsters. [Like burn their moms accidentally. But if the issue about people labeling someone else as dangerous because of their powers is getting to him, he's not showing it.] Besides, as much as I hate to admit it, it was an okay prank.

[A pause, before an impish grin forms on his face.] And it's not like I'm going down without a fight, Sadie. Because it is on. [The teasing tone on his voice says he's joking, though... probably.]

VIDEO; ENCRYPTED 100%; LOCKED TO JASON, PIPER, PERCY, SANTO, and FINNICK

Uh... [In what is a stark contrast to his cheery, carefree demeanor in his public post, he looks really awkward this time, with a hand rubbing the back of his head and his eyes cast to one side.]

So bros, [Yes Piper you are a bro too deal with it] hypothetical question: if a girl you kind of really like asks you out on a date, how do you... [And now both hands are making vague, circular gestures like he's trying to catch the words in the air.] you know. Go about it?

[His face is a bright shade of red, and he looks like he's about to panic, really.]

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[Totally exaggerated Look of Hurt^TM, as he presses one hand to his heart and takes a dramatic step backwards.] Ouch! Your words cut deep, cruel Egyptian witch!

I'd say cry me a river but I've seen the Nile and sorry, it's going to take a lot of tears to make me feel bad for you, stupid evil Greek elf.

I resent that! [and mock-proudly, with both hands on his hips,] I am a stupid, evil half-Latino, half-Greek elf.

You get to call me Egyptian, I get to call you Greek. Thank you for confirming your complete lack of brains for my, by the way.

What, and no thank you for warning you about my villainous tendencies? I'm hurt.

You made my alarm play Lady Gaga. I think that was enough of a warning, don't you?

Looks like someone here isn't one of her little monsters. But I am glad you appreciate my super cool abilities, Miss Egyptian Witch. [and a flourish of the hand, and a bow]

I'll take Adele over her any day, thanks. And it's "magician" not "witch". Unless you're doing that "dodge the swear word" thing in which case let me be the first to inform you that it would not be the first time someone called me a "bitch".

[and he raises both hands in the air like he's all 'hey yo i ain't gonna be disrespectin the laydees yo']

Whoa, hey, I don't mean it like that. Unless you're like, Gaia or something. Then you'd probably deserve it.

Who?

Gaia. [hands spread out!] Mother Earth. Green-faced ugly chick, looks like she's high on tranqs half the time. Also wants to destroy the gods, or something like that, because she's ass-pained.

Yeah, sorry, not my earth person. We've got Geb, and from the sounds of it he's a lot better than yours.

Hey, if he's not raising a monster army and trying to kill off demigods, he's definitely going down on my Cool Dudes Book right there.

Nope. He likes godlings for the most part, I mean, pretty sure litterers are on his hit list but that just makes sense.

Man, why do you get the cool Earth dude? Want to trade places?

Nope, I am perfectly fine with my gods, goddesses, and magicians thank you very much.

Damn. And I wanted to learn how to turn people into hamsters, too.

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