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[HELLO, TURTLEITES. There is a lanky boy with a streak of oil on one cheek grinning dumbly at all of you.]

Hello, citizens of the turtle! Salutations and stuff, or whatever! [And he gives a stupid, dorky salute, his voice mockingly imitating the tone of someone giving a formal address to the adoring masses.] It has come to my attention that people have been concerned about my well-being during my hamster state, and I would like to assure everyone that I am completely fine.

[And he drops the formal tone as he waves a hand dismissively in the air.] But really, I've been in worse situations, and some jerks do a lot more than turn other guys into hamsters. [Like burn their moms accidentally. But if the issue about people labeling someone else as dangerous because of their powers is getting to him, he's not showing it.] Besides, as much as I hate to admit it, it was an okay prank.

[A pause, before an impish grin forms on his face.] And it's not like I'm going down without a fight, Sadie. Because it is on. [The teasing tone on his voice says he's joking, though... probably.]

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Uh... [In what is a stark contrast to his cheery, carefree demeanor in his public post, he looks really awkward this time, with a hand rubbing the back of his head and his eyes cast to one side.]

So bros, [Yes Piper you are a bro too deal with it] hypothetical question: if a girl you kind of really like asks you out on a date, how do you... [And now both hands are making vague, circular gestures like he's trying to catch the words in the air.] you know. Go about it?

[His face is a bright shade of red, and he looks like he's about to panic, really.]

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[Blink right back at you two because can you keep your punch-flirting away from the dude who has never had a semblance of love life before pls&kthx

He shrugs, though, because let's be real Annabeth and Piper are his only hope at good advice right now.]

Fine, you can stay, I guess. Just please, if you two get any mushier and you're going to get ants crawling all over yourselves. And me, probably.

[He takes the punch with a long suffering sigh, not even flinching] Hey, what part of what I said was bad advice? I'm just telling him things I had to find out on my own, because someone was too mean to explain herself.

[And pulling a face at Leo] Who's being mushy? She's beating me up here, man. Just be glad that Vanessa isn't really the type.

What did I just say? You were the one being an idiot anyway. Leo, don't be an idiot.

[She huffs a glare at Leo for the mushy remark.] Do you want help or not?

Okay, okay, don't be Percy, got it. [hands up in the air like hey yo i'm surrendering ok yo] And yes, I need help.

I'm really bad at listening, you know that. And - hey! Being Percy got me Annabeth, so don't knock it till you've tried it. [He's like 95% joking back, but there's a brief second where he finds himself scowling at Annabeth before hurriedly rearranging his features into an eyeroll.]

Look, it's obvious she already likes you. It's not even a girl thing. No one kisses anyone in front of a bunch of their friends unless they're into them. So just keep doing whatever you've been doing, you know?

But he didn't win over Vanessa by being Percy, now did he? [She catches the scowl, and her brows furrow over it, but it's gone soon enough and she's back to the task at hand.]

Find out what she might want to do on the date itself. But Vanessa's super easygoing. I'm pretty sure as long as you're trying, she'll have fun. The important part is to make sure you're both enjoying yourselves. Which she's probably expecting already, just you being you, or she wouldn't have asked in the first place.

Okay, right, gotcha. [His face is scrunched in a way that looks like he's mentally taking down notes about a new machine he's about to build.] Be myself. Sure! Easy enough, huh? Great. Super. I can do that. Nooo big deal. [Actually no it seems like a pretty big deal and he's trying not to hyperventilate rn. He can build a flying warship no problem, but girls?? How???]

[Whatever, Annabeth!!]

Dude, seriously. You're going to be fine. The hard part's over, she already likes you. It's Vanessa, it's not like she's going to get mad or weird at you over something stupid. She's really nice.

Leo. [Her voice is kind of stern, but simultaneously an attempt to reassure.] How do you guys normally hang out? [She doesn't actually need him to answer that.] Keep that in mind. Keep in mind she's still your friend, and maybe she's just as nervous as you are.

[DEEP BREATHS; exhale. Okay, somehow they're getting through to him. Somehow. So he's nodding and looking like he doesn't need to puke anymore, so that's something!] Okay, right.

[A pause! And then, a little awkwardly,] Thanks, guys.

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