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[cibopath]

[Meet Tony Chu.

Though he used to be Philly PD, his new gig was with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration-- which means he was an agent of the most powerful law enforcement agency in the world. And just like when he was a cop, he worked a lot of cases and stops a lot of crime.

Except he was just fired. Now he's a meter maid.

Today, he's stranded on the back of a giant turtle. He isn't happy about that, either.]

Officer Anthony Chu. I've... been in the hospital, and was brought here without my badge, but I promise you, I'm not lying about my position. [Tony's voice is measured and calm, but his face is set in his default scowl. The fact that he's in a pink bathrobe and a hospital gown doesn't really do him any favors. Sue him, he hasn't gotten around to buying clothes yet.] I've been brought up to speed-- for the most part, anyway-- by the locals, but if I'm going to be able to do my job, I'll need more than that. If you can give me any deeper information about why we're here, what to expect in this city, what that thing was, or how I'm supposed to get in touch with the local government, step forward and tell me what you know. Kidnappings, particularly mass kidnappings, are very serious [dozens of people? really?] and I'd prefer to hit the ground running here.

Furthermore, if any other agents are here, contact me as soon as possible. Through the console will work.

[Tony hesitates: for the briefest of moments his agent facade falters as he realizes he really doesn't know how to end this spiel. He finally mutters a 'thank you' under his breath and promptly shuts off the feed.]

Comments

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[fdaterminator]

Ton?!

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[cibopath]

[WHATTUP PARTNER.]

John?! What the hell's going on here?

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[fdaterminator]

First things first... what the hell are you wearing?!?

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[cibopath]

I was taking a nap, and I woke up here. Didn't even let me grab my personal items. [In other words, he was still in the hospital.]

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[fdaterminator]

Taking a nap where? The maternity ward?

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[cibopath]

[utterly deadpan:] Yeah, it's yours.

No, I'm in the same room I've been in for the last God knows how long.

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[fdaterminator]

I told you to u--

[Wait... wait!] You mean after what that shitstain Dan Freaks did to you? [Curls his fingers around something on his lap so tightly his knuckles are white.]

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[lineality]

I don't know what agents you're referring to, but there are more than a few police officers here.

As for the local government--it's what brought us here in the first place, and it doesn't plan on sending us back anytime soon. You can get in touch with them, but it's not going to do you much good.

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[cibopath]

Er. Sorry. The United States Food and Drug Administration; forgot to say I'd been an agent there for a while. Most people recognize me, anyway, I have a bit of a reputation. [said with no positive inflections ever.]

Damn. [Tony exhales.] How open are they to explaining themselves?

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[lineality]

Food and Drug Administration? [She frowns a little at that, baffled.] You have police for your food where you're from?

Depends what you'd call 'explaining.' They make no bones about the fact that we're here to fight some kind of bigger threat--a malevolent, world-devouring spirit, or something like it. Whether or not they'll give you details depends on how much they like you. At least, that's what I've heard.

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[cibopath]

It's necessary, believe me. People sell contaminated products or meats all the time-- especially since the avian flu-- so someone's got to police it.

No, rumors are good; there's always some kind of truth at the end of them. Was that threat the thing that showed up earlier today? With all the voices?

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[lineality]

[An amused huff.] I've often suspected Holong's meat buns were never precisely the meat he claimed they were, but I'd never considered creating a separate department to investigate it. What was the avian flu?

That's the one. Haven't had the honor of meeting it personally, but apparently it's a worse variety of spirit than most.

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[cibopath]

[And that earns a slight grin.] Oh, folks love to sneak things in meat buns. Might want to be careful around those.

Well... [Another one who's never heard of the flu, huh. This is interesting.] In a nutshell, there was a bird-borne disease that killed millions, and it all started with some tainted chicken meat. That was about three years ago, four in a few months. There's a black market for poultry nowadays; I used to run chicken busts all the time.

But there's no such thing as ghosts. ...Right?

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[redjay]

Well, officer. We all got the short straw. Now we're on turtle, fighting things we have no business in. Surprise!

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[cibopath]

Well, that's just fantastic.

Fighting WHAT, exactly?

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[redjay]

No shit.
If you check the network, we're all freaking out about some conceptual idea of evil come to life. So, my guess? It's probably that.

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[cibopath]

[Abstracted evil. Awesome.]

Hope the bastard takes a bullet between the eyes like everybody else does.

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[redjay]

If it was in any way like everybody else, I don't think we'd be talking about this as a problem.

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[cibopath]

That's helpful. Listen, I don't have time for supernatural crap like this. How do we get home?

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[zinthosmantra]

"Local government" might be a bit of a stretch.

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[cibopath]

[He's got a bit of an idea (an Emperor? Really?) but...]

Go on.

Re: audio;

[zinthosmantra]

For the most part, it seems as though the kedan have their laws and enforcements, but the Foreigners seem to largely police themselves.

[cibopath]

Because that usually ends well. [sigh.] That makes it sound like there are a lot of us, though; has this been going on for a long time...?

[zinthosmantra]

Just shy of a year, unless network posts prior to that have been erased.

[cibopath]

No attempts to break out, anything like that? I had a quick look at the archives [read: he skimmed everyone's personal drama] a little while ago: we're not really expected to fight, are we?