tushanshu | Video;

[ She understands what he’s saying. Their experiences aren’t the same, but they’re very similar. She remembers how it was for Bruce right after the accident. But his conclusion, that he doesn’t get to have what he wants, makes her sad too. In a way, he’s right. Her ex-husband’s life was filled with nothing but pain and tragedy. Whatever he gained, he quickly lost, though that was often as much his own fault as anyone else’s.

This one, though. This one is different. He shouldn’t have to bear the same burdens of the other. ]

I was there after the accident with the gamma bomb. I spent years at his side, or as close to it as he’d let me get. I’ve seen what he and Hulk are capable of. I’ve had more than one run-in with the Abomination. I saw what happened to Leonard Samson and Samuel Sterns. I saw how hard it was for Jennifer when she became She-Hulk.

[ She leans forward slightly, resting her elbows on the table. ]

But Bruce, when it happened to me, I had no control over it. They turned me into a weapon and used me to kill people. All those years watching him struggle with the Hulk and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I didn’t even know who I was. My father went through the same thing. I don’t know how many people died before he got it under control.

[ And they haven’t really had time to sit down and talk about it. Not that she thinks they ever will. ]

You can’t blame yourself or what happened the first time you changed. It was unprecedented. You didn’t know that was even possible. You couldn’t control that. Hulk couldn’t control it either. No one could.

She's alive, Bruce. So are you. That's what matters.

[The way she lists off names isn't helping. It plunges him further into a vague sense of numbed horror at the reality she's from, at how many people this has happened to. At what she's had to endure. He doesn't know what to address first, can barely wrap his brain around it-- and part of him, a strong part, wants to make a snapped remark and walk off to order, ending this conversation.

One thing she said is ringing in his ears, preventing that. Rising above all the incredulity and frustration over how many had been exposed to the radiation, over the discrepancy between the Hulk's origin. They turned me into a weapon and used me to kill people. Betty. They'd done that to Betty, and Bruce hadn't been there to stop it. It's impossible to hold himself accountable for the fate of every Betty across every universe, but that doesn't alter his shame and mounting, boiling anger at that other him who let it happen.

The fact that he's sure the other Bruce feels the same way about himself isn't any consolation.

So he snaps back, he can't help it, but he doesn't walk off.] I can blame myself, [he says tightly.] She should be able to expect more from me than not getting her killed. That's not good enough. [It's just not. Not for someone like Betty, who deserves so much better. He knows how isolated she can feel with her mother gone and her father there but even more removed. Bruce had tried to fill in that hole, as she'd done for him.

This was where it got him. Where it got her, this Betty that would be as much a monster as he is if it weren't for that Betty didn't have that capacity in her.]

I'm sorry that happened to you, [he says, audibly agonized, unable to hold it in any longer. His hand reaches across the table to instinctively rest on top of hers, but he catches himself halfway there, fluttering in the air, the movement aborted as he waits visibly for permission.]

It's my worst fear, [he goes on quietly.] That there would be more made. That it would be you-- You deserve so much better than that, Betty. I'm sorry I'm never able to give it to you.

[ She should be able to expect more from me than not getting her killed. The snap she takes with the calm unflappability that comes with having been on the receiving end of such sentiment often enough that she become desensitized to it, but it’s what follows that elicits a reaction. It isn’t much. Just a slight tightening around the corners of her eyes and the slightest, almost imperceptible flinch. But it’s a reaction none the less. Not at him. She’s hardly afraid of him.

But she knows what it’s like to die. She’s felt the sickness spreading, eating away at her body with inexorable patience. The Abomination’s gamma-irradiated blood. Inoperable cancer. The rush of blood from the sword Skaar drove through her body. She’s died. She’s been close to death many more times since. But it doesn’t get easier to accept, and just for a moment, she contemplates letting the Hulk out.

She doesn’t. The stir that would cause in a place like this, to say nothing of what it might do to Bruce, prevents her from taking the final, necessary step. But it’s a consideration. One that she doesn’t realize is quickly becoming a crutch. ]

It’s not your fault.

[ Having seen that aborted movement, she reaches out to take his hand, closing cool fingers around his. It’s been months since she’s touched him. After their last parting, she never thought she would do so again. ]

I don't blame you. I don't even blame him. You don’t have to apologize to me and you certainly don’t have to blame yourself for this. I know it sounds bad, but there are benefits. I’m stronger now. No one has to worry about me. And no one can use me to make anyone else vulnerable. [ She gives him a small, albeit sincere, smile. ] I can do the protecting for once.

[It's been so long since he's touched Betty that it's nearly disorienting to have it happen now, a hope grown dusty with disuse, made worse by the fact that it's not exactly right. It's her, and it's not her. The sentiment behind what she says is piercingly familiar, exactly the same, but the way she says it and her overall manner are different. Her life, her history, are different, and that most critical thing that makes him let down his guard around Betty isn't here-- her soft spoken lack of pressure, her silent and total understanding and acceptance. Gone and impossible between two people that haven't spent years sleeping beside on another.

Yet it's just enough the same, and Bruce is already growing to appreciate her for her own merits, that it gets to him. His fingers closely tightly around hers in an unconscious spasm. He controls his expression as best he can, but is unable to prevent some of the fierce ache of missing her from slipping through.

She should blame him. She should. But Bruce knows Betty. He knows that's a losing battle for him to fight, and it's one he's never wanted to win, anyway.]

I'm still going to worry about you, [he admits ruefully.] I'm sure you don't need it. [A moment's pause, as he looks into her smile, before he adds,] And you've always done your share of the protecting.

You're really-- not that different, that way. [Bruce has no illusions that Betty had always protected him as much as he'd protected her, and she truly had the harder job: protecting him from the demons in his mind.]

[ Looking at him, feeling the way his hand tightens around hers, she can’t quite prevent herself from wishing that the other Betty was here in her place. Maybe she wouldn’t be as useful to the kedan in their war effort since she wasn’t a Hulk, but that woman would help Bruce far more than this one can. She can read the way he misses her in the way he touches her, in the expression on his face, in the things he says, and for his sake, she wishes that he could have gotten what he wanted.

She can’t trade places with that other Betty; she doesn’t know how and she doubts the kedan would go for it even if she asked them to switch them out. What she can do, however, is keep him safe and see that he gets back to her. And maybe she can help him along the way, help him find peace with the Hulk and with himself enough that he can feel free to be with her when he does return.

Betty thinks both of them deserve that much. ]

I don’t need it, you’re right. [ Her tiny smile grows a little larger, becomes shaded with a playful, teasing kind of humor. ] But maybe it won’t be so bad being on the receiving end of it.

[ And he’s right about protecting him too. She always has. This time, however, it won’t be quite as subtle as cloak and dagger espionage. ]

And you — [ She squeezes his hand, still smiling. ] — had better prepare yourself. I think it’s going to be a little different this time around. You’ve never had another Hulk protect you.

[ He’s had Hulk, of course, but she knows how antagonistic that relationship is. Even her ex-husband couldn’t see it. But she could. ]

[There's a lot of things Bruce could say to that, soured, dark things about why he'd want any Hulk to protect him. But it's Betty, and he's never been able to unleash that on her. Never wanted to. It might be true, that how much he outright loathes his other half has made it impossible for him to think of any other universe's version of it, whether himself or anyone else, with a positive light-- but it's even more true that he can't think that of Betty.

She'd seemed abrasive. Focused on fighting, perpetually angry. But altogether more coherent than Bruce would have ever expected, and she'd changed, gone back to human, merely at his request. Bruce doesn't want Betty to protect him, doesn't think she should need to have to, but he won't deny her it if that's what she wants.

The urge to kiss her hand is sudden and overpowering, and also inappropriate. A learned response Bruce has learned on the wrong woman. He smiles just slightly, mostly down at the table.] I don't actually need that much protection here, [he prevaricates, slipping his hand from hers because he can't keep tempting himself with that closeness. But he takes the sting out of it by stroking his fingers across her palm as he detangles them, making the motion affectionate even as he retracts his hand.]

Maybe we could... just spend time together. Without all the, the worrying and protecting. [Bruce shoots her a quick glance, checking to see if she'd be okay with that.] Figuring out who each other is.

[ She doesn't buy it. Maybe it's not outwardly apparent, or even a consideration to the people who know about the Hulk, but Betty thinks that Bruce needs more protection than most. Not just from the countless lunatics and enemies that the Hulk seems to make at every turn, but from himself and the memories that haunt him. She knows all about Brian and Rebecca. She's seen them and the power they hold over Bruce. Whether he's ever appreciated it, which she doesn't think he has, or noticed, Betty's been protecting him for years. And just because this one isn't the one she married once upon a time doesn't mean that she intends to stop now.

But she withdraws her hand when he pulls away and drops it down onto her lap, accepting the barrier of distance he's put between them without comment or complaint. ]

I don't mind. I don't think... [ She pauses slightly, never really sure how to talk about the Hulk. She is the Hulk and the Hulk is her; the severe disconnect during those first few months is gone. But her control is a finicky thing, and sometimes she doesn't always feel like they're the same at all. ] Earlier, I thought you were him and our final parting wasn't very, um, amiable.

[ That's a mild way to put it. Her lips twitch in an awkward smile. ]

I know better now. I won't be so... [ She waves a hand, trying to explain the hostility and mistrust without giving them words. ] ...with you anymore. Sorry about that.

[The irony is that it's essentially the opposite from Bruce's perspective. His Betty has no idea about his parents; as far as he knows, she hasn't even guessed. He hasn't given her reason to, has never allowed that conversation to go any deeper than shutting it down as gently as he could. Yet he has no doubt whatsoever that she's protected him from it all along, without ever knowing what it was. Betty knows that no one's as haunted as Bruce is without reason; she's just never needed to know that reason to stand between him and it.

It's one of the many, many things he loved about her. Made it impossible for him to forget her, no matter how long it'd been. Betty had left an indelible impression on him, given him the only sparks of hope he'd ever felt about his isolation. He knows keenly how much she does for him.

Bruce is skeptical that this Betty would have done any less for her Bruce, which is one of the main reasons it makes him so silently incensed at the implication that he's been ungrateful.] I wouldn't be all that amiable if you'd run off with an alien queen, [he says dryly, limiting himself to that bit of sarcasm.]

Don't worry about it. [He makes an aborted gesture with his hand, feeling empty after having held hers and let go.] I'll go order? [They should probably stop taking up a table without buying anything.]

[ That comment gets a wry little chuckle out of her, soft and under her breath. She knows that she shouldn’t mind her ex-husband finding happiness with Caiera, and in a way, a part of her doesn’t. As far as he knew, she was dead, not being brought out of stasis and being turned into a Hulk. But as far as she knows, Bruce never waged war on the world in his name, though of course she’d never want him to. And most people get private divorces; Bruce had broadcast his being over her to the entire world.

It still hurts. Because she wasn’t dead. She isn’t dead now. And he’d given up on her just the same. But she also appreciates this Bruce making a joke about it. She would much rather laugh than cry and feel sorry for herself. ]

Sure.

[ Reaching into her pocket, she pulls out a handful of the strange money she was given upon arrival and holds it out to him, hoping it's enough and having no real clue. ]

Just get me whatever you’re having. You know the local cuisine better than I do.

[He shakes his head at the money, already getting to his feet and refusing it.] I got it.

[It's not chauvinism, it's just that Bruce has been here for a while and gets more of an income from Stark Industries than he really knows what to do with. He'd intended to spend it on equipment for work, but Tony-- the last one-- had given him a separate department budget, so he hadn't even needed to do that. Bruce wasn't about to make her spend some of what little money she had on arrival when he could easily cover it.

As he stands, he reaches carefully into his shirt pocket and pulls out a folded piece of newspaper, which he places on the table in front of her.]

Just thought you might be curious, [he says simply, and is already moving away, heading over toward the order counter. Leaving behind what is easily his most prized possession with her: his picture of Betty, grainy and indistinct but smiling in her lab coat as she stands in front of a chalk board. The caption reads something about her work at Culver University, and the newspaper is lined and creased with handling.

Anyone else, showing that to would come with a slightly anxious warning about not losing it. Not damaging it. Bruce just sets it there for her and trusts that she knows how important it is to him without having to say a word.]

[ She accepts the offer with a nod, not feeling strongly enough about asserting her ability to pay for herself to go through the bother of fighting over it. Besides which, Bruce seems to want to do it. There’s a sadness about him that all of the tiny smiles can’t erase, and if this in any way helps him, she’s willing to take the kindness for what it is.

Her attention shifts from him to the paper he places on the table, but he’s already moving away when she glances up again, the words fading unspoken on her tongue. Betty’s eyes slip back to the paper and the photograph it contains.

The caption beneath the picture isn’t necessary. One glimpse is all it takes to tell her who it is she’s looking at, and with careful fingers, she picks it up to get a closer look. This Bruce’s Betty Ross. A professor at Culver University. It’s not as clear as it could be, but she can see the woman well enough. She’s beautiful, and Betty thinks that the two of them must look good together. Right. But she’s presumably still there at Culver, or at least in another world, and Bruce is here in some other dimension far away from her.

Betty looks at the picture nearly as long as Bruce is gone from the table, but shortly before he returns, she delicately folds it again. He loves her. This Bruce loves his Betty Ross enough to carry around a reminder of her.

That in itself is motivation enough to see that he finds his way back to her. ]

[It'd be far more effective to have her come here in terms of getting to be with her, a fact that hasn't escaped Bruce. He'd even discussed it, in couched terms, with Annabeth last week. Despite all the drawbacks of being here, the benefits for him more than outweigh that, and he'd have to be a lot more self-deluded than he is to have missed it. If Betty were here, there wouldn't be any reason they couldn't be together. Live together. Work together.

The fact that it's probably not going to happen, and instead he gets half-taunted and half-appeased with this other version of her, hasn't escaped him either.

Bruce tries not to think about it too deeply as he places their orders, and short minutes later returns to the table with them. Fried and steamed finger food never takes that long. There's one big plate with an assortment of dim sum on it, and after he sets it on the table, he picks up the picture again even before he sits. It's carefully and deliberately returned to his pocket.]

You don't look exactly the same, [he comments out loud, addressing the elephant in the room as he settles into his seat, breaking his chopsticks apart.] You definitely recognized me, though.

[He can't help being somewhat curious.]

[ It isn’t until he’s settled, and the picture is once more stowed away in the safety of his pocket, that Betty reaches out to pick up the second pair of chopsticks. There’s no way she’s risking something happening to it simply because she hasn’t had a meal in weeks. It’s too important to him. ]

You don’t look exactly like him either.

[ She snaps the chopsticks with a twist of her wrist. This isn’t the first time she’s had Asian food. She’s eaten with the things before. ]

You’re taller, which I couldn’t tell on the video. Your hair’s shorter. Not by much, but it’s not quite as long as his was. You aren’t wearing glasses and he almost always wore his.

[ As she talks, she looks him over again, gaze scanning his hair and his eyes – the same color – and his expression. ]

Your eyes are the same color, though. And your face is almost the same. Someone less familiar with him might not have made the connection so fast, but I’ve met another Bruce Banner from another dimension. There were a few subtle differences then too, but… [ She shrugs. ] I’ll always know who you are.

[It's interesting hearing the differences, though he's somewhat self-conscious about being scrutinized so closely, even though he'd asked for it.

Bruce eats a few potstickers while she talks, just to give himself something as a distraction. Her final comment earns her a lop-sided smile, freer with her than he is with anyone else.]

I can put my glasses on if it helps, [he quips.] They get damaged too much when I wear them all the time, and they can be hard to find. I haven't had a real proscription in... I don't know. Since I used to live with Betty. [Normally it's difficult to force her name out of his mouth, but somehow it's the easiest thing in the world when he's looking directly at some form of her.

This unsolicited offering of information, an explanation behind one of his inexplicable habits, is another privilege granted to her solely because of who she is.]

I'd say I should've recognized you sooner, but, uh, I don't think I can be blamed. [He'd never in a million years think to look for Betty's face in a Hulk. He tries not to look for her face at all.]

No, I don't blame you. [ She shakes her head with an understanding smile. ] I don't recognize myself like that and I know it's me. [ A moment's pause, then she rolls her eyes. ] Most of the time.

[ It's still a work in progress, but it doesn't cost her anything or upset her to talk about it. This is her life now, whatever she might think about it. She accepts it. She has to. ]

And you don't have to wear your glasses either. You look good like this. It's okay to be different. Trust me. I know.

[ As far as Betty's concerned, the last thing he needs to be is more like the man she knows. ]

No, it was just a joke, [he reassures her.] Everything I've heard, I'd rather be different. [No question about that.

But he has to admit some fairly intense curiosity about how she operates with her... other half. In his mental narrative, he still has difficulty applying the word Hulk at all, to himself and much less to Betty.]

You don't mind talking about it? Your, uh. Being red. I don't want to press, but I'm, well, I'd have to be dead not to be curious.

Me? No.

[ Smiling, she shakes her head and reaches for one of the potstickers. In marked contrast to the Hulk, she's dainty about taking a bite, knowing that her other half would have shoved the whole thing into her mouth already. ]

I'll tell you anything you want to know. As much as I can, anyway. There are still some things I'm not all that clear on and some memories are a little disjointed. But for the most part, I think I can give you some decent answers.

[He's starting to relax enough to stop constantly comparing her to the Betty he's more familiar with, and take her on her own terms. It requires a whole lot less mental gymnastics, and fewer peskily misdirected feelings of longing and attachment.

Not that Bruce can get rid of all of them. For all he tries, he doesn't have absolute control over his emotions and Betty is, as she's always been, his Achilles' heel with them.]

How does it work for you? [Okay, that's vague. He clarifies,] How does it feel. You obviously remember everything, and it's not... traumatic. But you're different, so you have to notice a change.

[ For a moment, she's quiet, gaze abstracted, as she thinks about it. He's right. It's not traumatic and she does notice a difference. ]

At first, it was anger. I couldn't control when I made the change; I just got angry and it happened. Which was actually a concern for a while. I didn't care, I was still out of control, but because of the instability of the energy absorption, they thought I was going to get stuck like that. Obviously I didn't. There was some magic involved and I figured out the rest of it, sort of. Now it's, I don't know, I guess it's still mostly anger.

[ The corner of her mouth pulls into a slight, awkward almost-smile. ]

I still have a lot of unresolved... frustration and it makes it easier to change. Coming back isn't as easy. It's harder to get my emotions under control when I'm like that. It feels like I need a moment of... maybe clarity? [ She shrugs uncertainly. ] Mostly it's easier to change back to this if I get scared.

[He eats methodically as he listens to her talk, not put off his food by the seriousness of the topic mostly by long habit at eating under a myriad of circumstances. He makes careful mental notes of what she says, storing them in the meticulously preserved part of his memory devoted to Betty, which is expanding now.]

So it's not completely dissimilar, [he notes.] Still anger and difficult to control. I think I get-- worse with fear, though, not more human. [There's not many people he'd admit that so freely and matter of factly to.]

The rest is the same? The... strength and invulnerability?

Worse? You mean it makes it easier to get angrier?

[ That’s been her experience with Bruce and Hulk, at least. But then, she isn’t sure that she’s ever really seen Hulk scared. Or Bruce, for that matter. Not for a very long time.

How does she measure up to the Hulk? Not the same. He’d gone out of his way to remind her that she was less than he was. She could still hold her own against him, though, and to her mind, that counts despite what he’d said. ]

It depends. Normally, yes, I’d say I’m about as strong as he is. We fought a few times and each time it was kind of a draw. But there are some differences. I heal fast, but I can’t regenerate my organs and limbs like he can. When I change, my blood’s corrosive. And there was… We—Red Hulks can absorb energy. I’m not really sure how and I haven’t had much experience with it. All I know is that it’s a possibility and it almost killed my father, but he eventually got it sorted out, so... [ She lifts her hands in a gesture of uncertainty. ] I guess it's something I can do?

More likely to change, [he clarifies.] I don't think I've ever... actually changed from anger alone. [It's too easy to control. Too easy to prevent. Bruce has plenty of experience with that end of things, but fear, that he's never been as successful at.

Then he's listening soberly to her explanation, frown gradually growing deeper. A list of alarming questions immediately crop up, all demanding attention. It's unfeasible to ask all of them at once so he has to pick one. That the Hulk can regenerate organs and limbs is news to him, and might not apply to him, but somehow Bruce suspects that it does. It's another nail in the coffin on his immortality theory, and a grim one.]

Your-- you mean this happened to your father, too? Isn't that-- [The sheer ridiculousness of the idea is suddenly taken over with the hilarious irony of it, and Bruce can't help a snort and a twisted hint of a smirk.] I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but that's... some kind of comeuppance.

[ That's surprising. She's seen her ex-husband change for a number of reasons, but anger has often been one of them. Another difference between them, though what it means, she doesn't know.

She can't miss the snort that she just knows is a kind of laughter, or the ghost of a smirk that plays across Bruce's lips. It confirms what he'd said earlier about her father; there's no love lost between them. Unfortunately for Betty, it isn't that simple, and instead of seeing the humor in it, she just smiles sadly.

Her relationship with her father is as complicated as the one she once had with her ex-husband. ]

It started with my father. He wanted... I'm not really sure. To finally beat the Hulk. To save me. A combination of both, probably. So he joined up with Samson, thinking he was doing something good, but Samson turned on everyone and was working with Sterns. They turned him into a weapon too, had him kill a lot of people. Eventually Hulk came and put a stop to it, Bruce and my father made peace after he got himself back under control, and Captain America made him an Avenger. And then he got a LMD girlfriend.

[ Of all the people to have found a relationship that actually works, she never thought it would be between her father and an android. But they're happy now. That counts for something. ]

Weird, huh?

[Bruce doesn't like this side of himself. He isn't proud of it and he isn't comfortable with it; he suppresses it as much as he can. But there is, somewhere inside him, a penchant for taking satisfaction in the tragedies of others (schadenfreude) and especially when he thinks they deserve it. He doesn't truly want to see anyone hurt, but when he doesn't hold any blame for it and couldn't have done anything to stop it-- thus absolving him of guilt-- sometimes he takes a sick satisfaction in seeing others contend with the things he usually has to all alone.

Betty and her father is a relationship he's fully aware is a complicated one, and Bruce doesn't want to make her decide between them. He never has. Betty had chosen him of her own free will, and he understands that family isn't so simple to dismiss. Seeing that sad smile, he immediately regrets indulging in his sadistic side, and sobers up. It's probably for the best if he doesn't press her on that topic, and steers the conversation away. There's no easy answers to be found with fathers.]

Bizarre, [he agrees readily, quirking a wry smile.] I almost can't believe it. Uh, anything you've said, really. Except Samson working with Sterns.

[Bruce shakes his head.] I'm pretty sure he tipped off your father when he saw me with you. Samson, that is. I don't know for sure, but it's... suspicious. I guess some things really don't change.

[ Samson too is a complicated case. Once a trusted friend, then a bitter enemy. It seems like their entire life has been like that. Ever since the gamma bomb. ]

Samson... [ She sighs, shaking her head in disappointed resignation. ] He was a friend once, someone who fought with us instead of against us. But I know he's always had feelings for me and I think, I don't know, I think he let them blind him or something. Made him think that he could choose what was best for me better than I could.

[ And who knows, maybe he could. He'd made her a Hulk, and so far that was working out all right. ]

He'd always been jealous of Bruce. I guess that's true for the one you know, too.

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