Yaha (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
barebacking) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tushanshu2013-09-13 10:12 pm
barebacking) wrote in tushanshu2013-09-13 10:12 pm
VOICE.
An odd question, I am sure, but I wonder...
I thought of the ghosts and the waters, and the idea that death could be just around the corner. That is that those of us that are just about to slip into that darkness may one day wake up to be choking on our own blood.
Forgive me for such a ... unfortunate image, but my point is ... how many of you have someone who you are close to? How many can say that you have met someone who makes your life worth it all, even if death may be so close? Even if this may all just be a dream?
This need not be romantic, I suppose, but friendship as well.
After all, sometimes it is friendship that can save a life, too, right?
I thought of the ghosts and the waters, and the idea that death could be just around the corner. That is that those of us that are just about to slip into that darkness may one day wake up to be choking on our own blood.
Forgive me for such a ... unfortunate image, but my point is ... how many of you have someone who you are close to? How many can say that you have met someone who makes your life worth it all, even if death may be so close? Even if this may all just be a dream?
This need not be romantic, I suppose, but friendship as well.
After all, sometimes it is friendship that can save a life, too, right?
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[Enjolras is pausing for a moment, gathering his thoughts a little more.]
Liberty I suppose. The issue of determination over their own lives. If others have no satisfaction that something has been chosen for them, do I have a right to sit back simply because I have a large enough measure of the things I wish to be content in them?
[The knowledge that France has become a republic, many of his friends here now, Combeferre, the end to some of the unfairness directed at Foreigners when he arrived...they make Enjolras happy enough but the thought of those who are here and do not wish to be...]
The prison of this island may be comfortable, more comfortable than even those of us with money would have had in Paris, but it is still a prison for so many. That is what gives me pause before I say I like it here. What sort of a man would I be to ever like something that all of my fellow foreigners have had no choice in? I would never wish to be such a thing as to comfortably accept it at face value when there are so many realities involved here.
[Enjolras is shaking his head a bit, and laughing.]
I was...fourteen I think, when I had the cause to shift from quiet into something more. I discovered the writings of so many I admired and the things that they spoke of, I found that I agreed with them, found answers to the questions I had wished to ask, solutions for them and...I had to share them, particularly with those who would have held them back. The last few years of school were...interesting.
I could have well done with more quiet in those years, I think. My teachers and my parents would well have appreciated it.
Reason must temper everything we do, and yes, it surely IS a light to those who struggle in the dark, or with succumbing to it. Reason would have served me better then as it's served me since it was shown to me back then.
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A fresh perspective to those that are prisoners in order to ensure that they are chained to those that they wish to be chained to. [ He shows a bit of white in this smile. ] You do not need to sit back, but you can help, naturally. There is more than just hurt here... I see that now. I'm able to meet those I would not have, and speak to those I could not, because of what I am. These Gods are, indeed, mad and I find it wonderful.
[ Yaha hums soft. ]
They may have appreciated, but I doubt that you would have... from what I hear, anyway. Besides, it is far better to be able to speak clear when you can and gather that confidence young than when you are old. When you are old, you see only the walls around you and a hand over your mouth... that hand may very well be your own. But you do not have that fear, and for that I am grateful and happy.
Are you the light which will light the way for those in the dark? It seems as though I already have my answer even before I ask...
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he may not like it, but Enjolas can conceive that the point is not as bad as all of that. AS for the second point...Well. he's slowly giving Yaha an approving nod if that means anything.]
Helping naturally, yes. As many here have done when the call goes out.We are not so powerless as we appear. That may be something of a useful lesson too. And there ARE many good things to make it at least bearable, I will say that.
Fundamentally, it is flawed, and I think we must do many things ourselves to shift THAT away but there are things that...they make it easier, I suppose, and yes, they teach us things.
[And Enjolras is actually laughing a little here, recalling times he was essentially told that yes, everyone would appreciate if he shut up. Which he rarely did for long. And he is nodding.]
So it is much better, yes. It never was my greatest strength, but I was confident enough by the time it was needed that I think very few people realized it. I do well enough speaking but...
[And he IS simply being honest here, not trying for conceited at all.]
My articles and other writings. Those are where my true strengths may be found if I am allowed to be so bold. But no, I am not afraid to say what must be. I have seen too many silenced as you say, to be one who falls into that, or forgets to help them remember their voices too.
[As for being the light? Enjolras can hardly believe that he was asked this question, honestly. It is at once flattering, but deeply, deeply, inaccurate.]
I am a man, much like my brothers, and I am no more than that. That light you speak of may be found in small parts all around us, and in the future, filling every chasm there is. When there is light, when that is real, no one shall be subject to pain, hunger or loss, nor forced to fight for anyone, for it will not be needed.
That light is already here among us, and one person cannot be as such. A group of them perhaps...
[There is an eyedart there, yes.]
a group of them may bring about some of that light, but never man himself. We are not gods, simply united in that common good, and when the rest of the world joins us, it can never go out again.
Better than simply being the light, I should suggest.
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[ He blinks a few times. Oh well, that is a choice, but why would these people want to keep foreigners? His head tilts a little -- unless they are planning to use them as fodder and going to eat their bodies when it is over to ensure that they need not have to dip into their own supplies. His smile is a weak one, because he tries to hold bak his laughter.
And the moment passes. ]
So long as something is learned, there is power. And so long as something is taught, there is help given.
[ The elf nods just a little with him as he listens to the passionate speech. Though, he grows quiet as he has little to say. He thinks on what Enjolras says on that not one man can bring that to the world and his smile fades just a little. Sucking in his bottom lip, he chews on it absent-mindedly -- yet not so much that he would bite down to make it bleed, despite wanting to do so. The taste of blood in his mouth might calm him, but it would alarm the one that he speaks to ... that he can already tell.
So, he thinks on his words and how he must seem quite odd now. His eyes close as he continues to gather his thoughts, feeling how they rest upon his tongue, before both eyes and mouth open. ]
I was thinking on what you said, and it made me think of my past. An odd thing to say, would you not agree? You spoke of a friend of yours, and now I feel I must speak of one of mine... though, I cannot say that we were close. He was my previous general and died in battle. It was his wish that the world be made equal, that we all fight for what it is that we desire... that all you say now in what you wish ... it is what he wanted for us all.
He worked for it for eighteen years and everyone joined with him. That one man became a group, yes... but there must be a start to it all. There must be one to start the journey or nothing will get better. Even though he is gone, he started something and the world agrees that he did.
Though, he would deny being the first. He would deny being that light. He would deny it all... and say that it was all upon us that this has happened, but if he had not first started on the path of redemption for us all, I doubt we would be standing where we all are now.
[ Because such men do not understand their importance and when they fall, they take the light and hope with them. That is why everything is in shadows and why there is so much darkness inside of him now. There is his precious Urick who he loves -- who shines and lets some of that shine pass into him. Chases away the black so that it is not so thick and hateful. But if he were to have fallen, too... Yaha feels that there would be no sweet conversation now with Enjolras, but one where he would wish to find the man and cut his tongue out for saying such drivel to him.
But no, he likes this man's words. He feels no hate towards him. He feels no desire to harm him. And that is why light is important, because the dark needs something to help them. ]
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[They could be an easily replenished army, Enjolras supposes. The idea that they immediately bound back from death, and that it could go on forever comes to mind here and he hates it.]
Knowledge has a power. You would like my Etienne. I think he would agree with you. Along with teaching. He has ever been our teacher, and our guide to the wonders of the world we might otherwise miss. I think that he knows everything and would impart it if he could, perhaps to gift that power onto others.
[And then Yaha is speaking of his friend, so Enjolras is falling respectfully silent, considering that story of the general who seems so much like les amis that he has to like the man, although they have not met.]
Ah yes, a start. The smallest thing can spark a revolution, or a riot, or any other call for change. Perhaps there is something to be said for taking the first steps there, and I would do it gladly, but it is nothing I alone can do I suppose is my meaning. Starting things before we leave our worlds. That is good. It is needed, I think. Perhaps even here, though I've had no signs that it is necessary yet.
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[ And really, for him, would it not be better if he was burning now rather than with those that he could harm? His precious Urick thought so. And he wonders how long it will take for those that he is making friends with to think the same. ]
Your Etienne sounds like a wise man, and if he is loved by you... I am certain that I would like him. There are few that I dislike, which may seem surprising, but my general would say that a man who is ruined is just one that feels lost. A hand must be extended first before a blade.
[ And yet, this is one lesson the elf never did learn. He does not really hate anyone, no, because the mad rarely do. It's rare that the offense he feels towards someone is real, and even he knows it. ]
Of course. I hope there will be nothing shown to make it seem necessary yet... if only because I think that it would be nice to allow those who wish to rest a few more moments of peace.
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[He's not afraid to admit to that at all. And there have been many times an impatient Enjolras has done just what he's saying here, spoken too broadly. Les Amis regulated him in that regard, and do it still, those who are still left, of course.]
Indeed he is. One of the wisest that I know. If you come to our meeting ,when we have it, I shall introduce you personally.
A hand must be extended first before a blade.
[And Enjolras's expression clouds a little here, at the whole truth of THAT.]
Grantaire...
[He's muttering, and then shaking his head a bit.]
I treated the friend I mention in that way, dismissed him as ruined, until the ending of all things for us. I think his story, and what he did for me can prove your general's words right.
As do I. We are in no shape to make such a movement yet as it is. Those who need to heal must do so, and better that there can be justice another way than stirring up the hot headed and thrusting them into chaos that everyone must face. That infringes on them as well.
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[ His head tilts just a little as he smiles. ]
Not afraid that I might try to steal him away to be my wise and sweet man? [ Because he feels that he has to tease. This one is sweet, and he wishes to hear his laughter more than anything else. For the moment, anyway.
But pauses. ]
Grantaire? [ Ah. He sees. ] I understand. It's unfortunate that you had to learn the lesson that way, but so long as it has been learned... that is all that is important, yes?
Of course. I think that will make everyone happier, too.
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[Even here, and even now. And Enjolras is returning that smile, full on, for once. He has been doing more of that here than he ever has before.]
I think that I am safe. I know where he sleeps, you see, should he develop ideas of being stolen in the first place. More importantly, I know where he keeps his books.
[A greater threat, indeed, when it comes to Combeferre. Not that he has ever had to use it, but Enjolras's mind supplies it anyway, just in case.]
I think, given what has happened, it is all that I can do if I wish to do his sacrifice any justice. So that is what I aim for, yes.
And happiness is key here I should think.
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[ And Yaha finds it infectious enough to smile back. ] Marvelous, then there shall be no worries upon anyone's head... save for your sweet one about his books.
Hm, to do a sacrifice justice... I think it is best to remember the man and learn from his mistakes.
It is, yes. And you seem most happy, so the key is already had by you.
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I am, for the most part, despite all that I say. Some things here are not right, and I would always try to fight for them, but well.
[He's definitely smiling here.]
There are certainly the good as well. I owe Grantaire much. Perhaps his memory IS the best of ways to begin it.
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And for this lovely conversation, I promise to always look after you.
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[And Enjolras is nodding at him, a little unsure, but pleased anyway.]
I will value your perspectives, certainly.
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Not as much as I welcome your clear eyes.
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[Enjolras is flushing a little, ducking his head, flattered by those words.]
I would hope that I can prove myself worthy of it.
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Perhaps they may be, yet. I'd like that.
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Most people do not. I suppose it is because of what I am.
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[Enjolras takes a moment to consider, and ah, the ears.]
Because you are...an elf, do you mean?
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