tushanshu | (no subject)

[When the feed turns on, both Jor-El and Shockwave are in view. Shockwave is smiling the same smile as always, bursting with the usual amount of energy. Jor-El’s expression is sedate.]

Hello Keeliai. I am Shockwave. Jor-El [A gesture to the man standing to Shockwave’s left] and I wish to announce the creation of Wayne Enterprise’s Science Division in the Metal Sector.

It has been in the process of being readied for some time [the equipment they felt needed wasn’t on the turtle; it took time to build the tools needed to build more advanced equipment] but now we feel it is sufficiently equipped to bring others on.

Everyone is welcome if you have even the slightest wish to help us, or help increase the level of technology in Keeliai as a whole. We’re currently looking into alternatives for the consoles - but there’s any number of projects.

[It’s a very large space they’ve set up in, with a very open floor space and high ceiling. Shockwave was insistent on the latter.]

While a background in or familiarity with the sciences or engineering would be preferable, it will not be necessary. We are willing to accommodate anyone willing to learn.

That’s all for now, but if there’s anyone with any questions - feel free to ask. Thank you for your time.

[And with another bright smile from Shockwave and a slight nod from Jor-El, the feed ends.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Walter is positively glowing by the time he finishes watching the feed.]

This is wonderful news! I've been without a proper lab for two months now! I specialize in biochemistry. What is the state of your chemistry equipment? Proper equipment is so difficult to come by in this place. I've had to make do with a bakery. [Exasperated sigh.] There is not a single mass spectrometer I know of! And no cows! How am I going to advance science without a cow? Do you have cows in your facility?

Also, entirely hypothetically speaking, what is your position on the manufacture of, erm, pharmaceuticals?

[Cheerfully,]

Yes, hello, sorry to butt in here. My name's Bruce Wayne, I'm the head of the company itself. We actually got our start in pharmaceuticals. Everything is strictly controlled, of course, for the sake of not passing any contamination to the kedan population, but the facilities are certainly available.

[His mouth twitches upwards, almost a smile.]

No cows to speak of, though. What did you have in mind?

Oh yes, Mr Wayne! I've heard of you before. In an entirely good way, of course!

That is great to hear, that the facilities are there. I have an extensive background in pharmaceuticals of... various kinds. I've not been above some self-experimentation, even. And here I am! [An understatement of enormous proportions to be sure, but Walter's cleverer than to outright talk about it!]

As for the cow, that's why you need a cow - experimentation. Several of their organs are very similar to human organs and their chemical make-up is almost identical. The only notable difference between a human and a cow is that cows ruminate. And we have opposable thumbs, which is why we're the ones experimenting on the cows and not the other way around, I suppose.

They also produce milk, which is a critical ingredient of milkshakes.

[Cows are also great listeners and they never complain as long as you take good care of them...]

[In a manner of being slightly (bowled over? taken aback?) flummoxed by that rapid influx of information, Bruce just blinks several times in succession. Then,]

Milkshakes... of course, silly of me not to consider the possibilities. But, ah-- cows, as it were, aren't really available in Keeliai, and I have no idea whether or not the kirin match up, um, organ wise.

You'll forgive my saying so, but your methods seem a little... unorthodox. Here in Keeliai I've tried very much to keep things by the book, above board. That means no self-experimentation.

Unorthodox? Oh, I have heard one that before. I made my career in unorthodox! That was when I ran my own multidisciplinarian corporation much like yours here. However, I also worked as a scientific adviser to the United States military, and after that I been a consultant to the Federal Bureau of Investigation! [He is very proud of that one!] What I'm saying is, being able to do research on someone else's terms is better than no research at all.

Lately, my interest has been in paths less travelled by the many great scientific minds on this turtle, namely the animal kingdom. Cows I already mentioned, but there is also an alarming bacon deficit.

A deficit of... bacon. You hope to... reproduce it?

[Is he hearing this right...]

Oh yes, absolutely! Reproduce the bacon, not the deficit, of course. There are a few plans in the works here, either acquire some pigs from another dimension, or recreate them genetically out of whole cloth.

[He quickly adds:] Or, failing that, chemically develop an acceptable-tasting substitute.

It seems to be a very-- um, interesting idea. Very noble, tastebuds everywhere will of course thank you.

[AND YOU SOUND KIND OF LIKE A VAT OF ACID AWAY FROM BEING A BATMAN ROGUE my word, Bruce is treading very suspiciously here!!]

But we are at a sort of war, Mr...?

[Oh, there's no worry of that for Walter, they cut that part of his brain out in the 1990s.]

Bishop. Doctor Walter Bishop. Yes, I suppose we are, but in my experience, wars come and go. Working for the DOD, they seemed to be coming more than going though...

I'm sorry, DOD? That's... Department of Defense, isn't it?

Yes. I'm sorry, I'm being a little presumptuous, given the many universes people come from here. But you seem to know the meaning so there must be an equivalent in your universe?

Oh, I'm just from your average regular old Earth. With the occasional superhero. It's nothing remarkable, given what I've heard of other people's places of origin. Dare I ask what things are like for you back home?

[Bruce tilts his head, curious.]

Besides, you know. The obvious experimentation in, um, bacon-driven theoreticals.

Oh, superheroes! None of those back home, I fear, although they would be incredibly useful to have sometimes... Rather, my home universe is very close in frequency to another universe, which is slightly different, at least relatively speaking when you think about all the other universes I've learned about while here. But let's just say the people from the other universe do not get along too well with the people from my universe.

This kind of close interposition of universes seems very rare.

People also seem to think the science in my universe is... stranger than in theirs. [Walter grins.] This may be my fault, though. No one would consider me representative of the scientific community of my universe.

Well, I'd be happy to see what you can do. Though I'd have to ask that you refrain from anything that might evoke animal cruelty.

[Public image and all!! And this way Bruce would get to keep an eye on him up-close and personal.]

Oh, thank you! I hope I can be of use.

And animal cruelty is not in my nature at all! My best friend is a cow. Sadly she's back in my home universe.

[SUPERVILLAIN IN TRAINING.]

Well, drop by my office in Metal tomorrow, we'll suss out the specifics if you're amenable.

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