tushanshu | Video; In which cold weather is clearly the best!

Video; In which cold weather is clearly the best!

[Everyone gets to see two familiar faces this time, with a couple of twists. Dick (the elder) is sitting down in the chair, wearing a bright red coat with white trim, a hat of the same color, and of course, a beard to match the whole thing. It’s pulled down, though, so you can see his face. And his wonderful assistant, Zatanna, is standing behind him, dressed up like the most beautiful elf there is. They’re both looking pretty happy about this.]

It’s getting cold out! And what does cold mean? Holiday fun, of course. So I, and my amazing elf assistant here, have decided that Santa Claus needs to come to the turtle. [See what he did there? See it? Okay, good.]

And so it is with pleasure that we let everyone know-- [He gets cut off as Zatanna leans forward, and he looks up at her.]

[The fifteen-year-old elf bends down until she's level with his ear, covering her mouth so she could whisper something secretively to him.]

Really?

[She nods, and offers a playful wink.] Trust me. I know a guy who knows the guy personally.

[Dick looks back at the screen, and his voice drops into a perfect, heavy Russian accent.] Is this better?

[She practically has to bite her tongue to keep from bursting out laughing. Impressive. She should've known.] It'll do.

[Dick grins.] I’d like to invite everyone to come over to the Wood sector, where we have a little holiday party going on.

[He stops, laughing and shaking his head. He has to drop the Russian accent.] Okay, I can’t keep that one up, but I tried! Anyway, we’ve got a small thing going on in a café in the Wood sector, with some cakes and gingerbread-ish things, and some hot drinks. And what would Santa be without his...

[He holds up a huge, red velvet-like bag.] Bag, yes! And it is filled with little odds and ends, so there are presents for all!

[Dick sets the bag down, and pulls the beard back up with a grin.] And to all, a good... day? Yeah, that still works. To all, a good day! Remember, café in the Wood sector, we’ll be here awhile!

[ooc: Action is absolutely welcome.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[So she'll make it a little clearer:]

Well, yeah, but those are people who actually know how to sing. Usually.

Besides, most people are sick of hearing most of the classics. Do you have any idea how tiring Frosty the Snowman at the mall can get before you even make it to Black Friday?

Hah, that's half the point of it I think, knowing how bad some of them sound, but being nice enough to put up with them anyway. [Really, he's heard some terrible caroling.] But I'm...guessing this Frosty fella is really popular if they're playing a song about him before the Christmas season even starts? Maybe the kids enjoy it.

Oh, come on, don't tell me you've never heard Frosty the Snowman?

Doesn't ring a bell. [He gives a little chuckle.] There are a lot of things around here I had never heard of before, so adding it to the list isn't such a big deal. What's the Snowman's story?

Uh...

[It momentarily caught her off-guard. Where was this guy from, again? When was he from?]

...he's magic?

'Course he's magic. All of the Christmas time characters they make up are. But what's he about? Does he bring winter cheer to the kids? Live up at the North Pole with Santa, the elves, and the red-nosed reindeer?

Not really.

He just sort of...inexplicably comes to life, plays with the kids, and then leaves again before it gets so hot that he starts to melt in front of them. I think he had a few TV specials back in like the 80s or 90s.

Uh...do you mean the 1980s? [When someone says "the 80s" he thinks of the 1880s and television sure didn't exist back then.] Boy, don't you make me feel like an old sock.

I get that a lot, actually.

Why? Which '80s are you thinking of?

The most recent ones. Or well, as recent as you get when they were 60 years ago. For me it may as well still be 1949.

I see.

And Turtle Time Travel strikes again. It was 2010 when I came from.

We dealt with time travel and things like that back home, but usually the people trying to take over the world from the future never bothered to mention what the holiday season looked like from the new millenium.

[She lightly shakes her head, making a small 'tsk'ing noise, as if expressing disapproval.]

Some people just have no sense of priorities.

Good to know someone else gets it! Really, if you're going to time travel, the least you can do is give up the important information before trying to destroy Manhattan with armies of the undead. Just so we know what to look forward to after we kick their butts.

Maybe they just wanted it to be a special surprise?

Not such a great surprise. They're planning to ruin the future anyway by coming back into the past, so what's the harm of telling us everything they don't want to happen anyway?

How do you know they don't want it to happen?

They're invading for a reason. There must be something of ours they want to keep.

Trust me. If someone is time traveling to the past to take things over, it means they don't like how things were going in their present. Anything they would want to stay the same wouldn't be near as much as what they were wanting to change.

You really know how to put the darkest spin on just about everything, don't you?

[Welp, Toro should really learn how to watch his tone. He looks appropriately abashed for ruining the mood like that.]

Sorry, little lady. Sometimes my mouth is running before my brain catches up with it.

[And to try and turn it around, he adds] But that doesn't almost mean it's a bad thing. I know a guy who wanted to time travel so he could stop himself from shaving off his mustache. But really, that mustache deserved to go.

[The abashed look does work in his favor. She relaxes a bit, and accepts the attempts at turning things around.]

That bad, huh?

What did the mustache do?

[He's grateful she lets it go so easily.] It should be illegal to have a handlebar mustache in 1940. Like really, Pops was the nicest guy, but that mustache was the worst thing the circus had seen since the strong man busted his shorts while bending over in the ring.

[Honestly? Anything was better than talking about time-traveling Grinches.]

1940, huh?

I don't know about that. A busted bend-over is pretty nasty. I've seen my fair share of stage hands who couldn't keep it in their pants due to misjudging their own size.

Yeah it was years ago, but I'm pretty sure those mustaches are never coming back into style. And if you had seen it you'd know what I meant. It looked like octopus tentacles trying to eat his face.

Fortunately for me, my dad has more common sense than that. And if he didn't, it's one of the few things I could always get away with calling him on.

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