tushanshu | 20 ❄ ( VIDEO )

Entry tags:

20 ❄ ( VIDEO )

[ Jack's voice is quiet, nearly monotone and there are dark hollows under his eyes. ]

There's something you should know about the snow in the open areas between the domes. Some of the snow I make has magic in it, and what it does is make people more open to loosening up and playing around in it. It has to do with my center being Fun, it was never intended to hurt anyone but... it did.

Even though this time was an accident... it was also in the big snowfall last March. If you spent a lot of time outside that weekend, you probably got at least a little dose of it. A couple people already knew about this but I'm the one who should have said something before this. Long before, I was just--

I've already tried to break as much of the effect as I can between the three main domes, it should be mostly clear now and back to regular snow.

[ Which might explain the ill effect it seems to have had on him; he's been literally trying to undo the very essence of himself he expended into it. He takes a breath as though to add something else then apparently thinks better of it, reaching over and turning the console off. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He flinches a little. He's talked about his center a little to Bruce, during their meditation sessions (after them, usually) but he never brought this up. Now he feels deceitful on top of hollowed out. ]

It... depends on who you ask.

[He's not trying to judge him. Bruce sounds more careful as he explains,] My condition can be affected by my feelings, so I have to be careful. But it doesn't sound like it's something bad. Spending time on the turtle head is actually helpful, for example.

[By this point, to his understanding, Jack probably knows he has a 'condition', even if Bruce hasn't elaborated on it. He really should. It's a bit ridiculous that he doesn't know by now, given how public the knowledge is. But Bruce has never been one to unnecessarily tell his life story to anyone, so he isn't about to judge Jack for not doing it either.]

I... I'm bad, at explaining it.

[ Might as well put that disclaimer up right off the bat. ]

If there's something a person from having fun or holding them back from doing what they want to do, it kind of... works with that.

[ He casts about for a suitable metaphor but finds none. ]

[Bruce considers that. The calming effect at the turtle head has been so profoundly helpful that he's a lot less resistant to the idea as a good one than he would've been when he first arrived.]

If it's for fun, then it makes them... happier, right? [he hedges, trying to piece it together.] Not like they have fewer inhibitions, just-- happy.

[If this works like he's wondering it might, maybe he can comfort Jack without having to say anything about it at all. Bruce knows that sometimes you just need to see that what you can do can help someone as well as hurt them.]

It makes them feel happier, or safer, or less concerned about what other people think of them. Whatever's holding them back, the magic helps that.

[ He scrubs roughly under one eye with the hem of one sleeve and sighs. ]

That's if you ask me. If you ask other people, it's mind control and abuse of power.

[That's better than he'd anticipated. Safer. Bruce never feels safe, and he knows that's a key problem.]

Well. [He temporizes for a moment, unsure how to address this. He thinks Jack probably wouldn't appreciate having the clear emotion he's feeling called to attention.]

My standards for abuse of power are a little higher, [he ends up saying, and isn't that the truth. He's thinking of General Ross right there, and there's a duly sour note, subtle and brief.] Actually, I'd like you to try it on me, if you don't mind. I think it would help me... manage.

Bruce, no. What if it hurts you?

[ Not "what if it aggravates your condition", not "what if it's not what you're looking for". ]

[He knows Jack is upset over something that happened, but even if Bruce doesn't know the details and isn't prying into it, he thinks he needs a serious dose of perspective. Whatever he's done can't be nearly as bad as the things Bruce has done accidentally with his powers. He has a body count, and a near guarantee that it will continue to get higher.

He restrains himself to a somewhat dry,] Do you know how resistant to alteration my cells are? [Bruce shakes his head.] Anyway, it won't hurt. If I feel like I'm losing control then we'll just stop. Aside from that...

It's not like you're shooting at me. I think I can forgive you.

[He's also feeling somewhat reckless and willing to take chances with his control after all the experiences he's had pushing him in that direction over the past few months. Bruce is ready to take moderate risks, and this could be easily worth the pay off.]

But...

[ "But I wouldn't forgive me." And that's really what's at stake here. Bruce is among the very few people left in Keeliai that Jack considers a class closer to family as he can ever say he's known. ]

You-- really think it would... help?

[Compared to everything else that's been inflicted on him, forgiving him for something like this is laughably trivial. Bruce reserves his unremitting ire for his father, Ross, Loki, maybe a little bit Nick Fury. Those who deserve it. Jack doesn't.

And he knows what it's like to be scared of what you can do, even if he suspects in Jack's case it's largely irrational. He gentles his tone.] Yeah, I do. It might even help when-- when my condition affects me. We can't test that, but I think it's worth trying.

[ Bruce has found about the only way to get Jack to agree to this right now: to phrase it as a request for aid. Even with his very self feeling like it's breaking, Jack can't and won't refuse to help those he cares about. He bows his head slightly, weary but accepting. ]

If you're sure.

I'm sure I want to try. And it's not your fault if it doesn't work.

[Bruce is firm on that. But he has a suspicion that it will work; so far it seems like the Hulk's immunity doesn't extend to emotional effects induced by mystical means. He's just hoping it'll cheer Jack up, as much as he's hoping to have another safeguard. It reminds him of his efforts to keep Tony on a baseline, doing things at a guess and hoping they'll work.]

I'll come to you.

All right. I'll be here.

[Bruce doesn't waste any time-- he heads over directly, wondering if he's doing the right thing. But it's too late to back out now.

It's not long before he knocks on the freezer door he'd installed for Jack, reflexively looking over it to make sure it's still functioning properly. Sometimes it's just impossible to turn his work brain off.]

[ Jack answers the door a moment later, still quiet and pensive as he steps back to allow Bruce entrance. Baby Tooth is perched nearby, keeping a watchful eye on the spirit. ]

Hey. So... how did you want to...

[He's already bundled up for the cold outside, so it's not a noticeable change to step in, Bruce sparing Jack a short glance to see how he looks in person. Not any better. Well, here's hoping.]

Right in here is fine, [he says simply, before pausing.] This could be a big help if it works.

[ Jack nods, gesturing so that Bruce might sit. He won't put the request off but it seems kind of strange to just stand in the doorway for it. Once the man is settled Jack crouches opposite him, takes a deep breath and nods to show he's ready.

Pale fingers weave through the air, calling up specks of snow and shining light, eventually forming together to make a large snowflake. He cups it, shifting it around his hand like a handful of water. Then with a careful flick of his hand, he sends it towards Bruce where it poofs into specks that feel pleasantly cool, even in the chilled room. ]

[Bruce has himself braced to try to contain his reaction. He has a vague idea of what the effects will be, but no way of truly knowing until it happens.

It's completely futile. He thinks in theory that feeling more positive will help stave off the Hulk, maybe be a good supplementary method to grim control, but he's forgotten in the long hollow doggedness of his life what it's like to feel it. He'd had moments with Betty like this, he does remember them, but memory takes on such a faded hue with age that it's become enshrined. It's nothing to the experience.

His eyes widen, and laughter spills out of his mouth before he can contain it, not the rusty rueful laugh he occasionally indulges in but genuine pleasure. Bruce is gasping a moment later, overcome by a sense of lightness that, even with Betty, he doesn't recall ever feeling before. There's always some looming specter darkening his sense of security.

It says something, really, that feeling uncomplicated joy is unstringing him so thoroughly.

Bruce hides his face in his hand, rubbing it as he breathes.] I'm fine, [he mutters, almost dizzily.] I'm fine. I just-- Jesus. I haven't felt like that in... I don't know. [He's too out of it to monitor what he's saying, blindly checking internally for some kind of gauge about how it's affected his control.]

I think it works, [he says, astonished, lifting his face. He's light and hopeful, feeling the effects of the snowflake.] It's, it's almost too much but I think it works.

[ Jack is beside him almost immediately, one hand resting on his shoulder gently, startled and faintly worried at the scope of the reaction. He'd be lying to say there hadn't also been a quiver of fear there when Bruce hides his face in his hands (oh god that's what Spock did, emotionally compromised) and the unsteady laugh is sharply reminiscent of the one the Vulcan had uttered.

His hand shifts to Bruce's back, steadying, an anchor and Jack's voice is quiet, but compassionate. ]

It's all right, Bruce. Just push it off when you're ready, okay? You decide when it's done.

[He doesn't mind the hand on his shoulder. Bruce can't help hiding his face again briefly when he does it; showing strong emotion is instinctively prohibitive to him, and it never fails to read as a risk. Showing how much you feel is like asking for it to be taken advantage of, used as a weakness, and now there's the added complication that when he has strong feelings he's putting those around him in danger.

It's somewhat tumultuous even when it's positive. He breathes out again and lets the feeling of his hand on his shoulder stabilize him, eyes closing momentarily before it passes. The happiness seems to flit in and out of him as readily as Jack had said it would, leaving when he wants it gone but with traces remaining. Even those traces are comforting to him.]

It's okay, [he repeats, feeling like Jack needs more comforting than he does.] It's mostly gone already. I thought I was ready for it, but... [He smiles at him lop-sidedly, much more easily than normal.] I think we can count that as a success.

[ Jack withdraws his hand when Bruce offers him a smile, subconsciously feeling most of the effect dissipate; he was connected to it. Settling back in his seat he returns the smile, hesitant but relieved when the man deems the experiment successful. He had never seen Bruce smile like that, unreserved and it warmed him inside. ]

It doesn't usually come on that strong.

[ The statement is still faintly apologetic but he continues with a touch of pensiveness. ]

And it doesn't work on everyone. Kyle made me try it on him too, just like this. He shook it off before it really took hold.

[He's instantly thinking of it critically with that comment, analyzing the experience, and comes up with,] Lack of exposure to... to feelings like that probably intensifies the effect. [That's about the most clinical way Bruce could possibly say that he's so rarely actually happy that when it does happen, it undoes him.]

Even if I shake it off, it'd give me pause. That's for sure. [He's recovering now, returning to baseline, shaking off the rest of the effects. Although he's still oddly more optimistic than normal, a sensation Bruce definitely isn't used to.]

With my condition... [More seriously,] This could be really useful, Jack. It's not something bad.

[ Jack wondered if Bruce was onto something with that, if only because the longer he knew Kyle the less the man seemed to match up with the lighthearted persona he so often projected. And Bruce himself... was even more complicated. (More than he knew.)

Jack is smacked with a sudden surge of relief, when Bruce says the magic isn't bad-- because to the spirit, it isn't just magic, it's a literal extension of who he is. He'd hug the man, if the last time hadn't been so awkwardly received, for saying such a thing. Bruce was always saying kind words to him, whether he recognized what they were to Jack or not. ("You're a good brother.")

With effort he quells the urge, instead treading cautiously onto the topic that presented itself. ]

You keep saying that, your condition.

Ah-- [A wry smile, not having caught that he was still referring to it that way.] Habit. It's hard to explain in uh, normal company.

[Obviously this isn't normal company. But it is probably about time that he comes clean to Jack; if he's going to want his help for potential future emergencies, he needs to know the full story. All the risks he's taking on. Bruce could never ask someone to endanger themselves for him without knowing what they were getting into.

Meanwhile, he's oblivious to how kindly his words are perceived. Even calling Jack a good brother had been the same intent as it was now-- just the truth, simply stated, without platitude. He approaches this next explanation similarly.]

I don't even remember how much you know. It's dangerous for anyone to know at home but it's... a little moot here. [Shaking his head briefly.] I'm just not in the habit of telling anyone. But I'll tell you now, [he finishes quietly, waiting for Jack to fill in the blanks of just how much he does know. Bruce might finally intend to tell him, but that doesn't mean he wants to spend longer on it than necessary.]

[ Jack would rather like to be considered normal company, but he understands a lot about extenuating circumstances. He settles himself more comfortably on his chair, long legs crossing so he could rest his elbows on them and lean forward, fixing Bruce with an attentive gaze. ]

Whatever you tell me will stay between us, I promise.

[ a pause and, finally putting into words the elusive slip of half-knowledge he'd been holding for months, he said slowly: ]

... that was you, wasn't it? When the specters came out of the satellite wreckage.

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

Re: video | 60% encrypted

action

Re: action

Re: action

Re: action

Re: action

Re: action

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject