Jack Frost (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wintershepherd) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tushanshu2013-12-12 07:36 pm
wintershepherd) wrote in tushanshu2013-12-12 07:36 pm
20 ❄ ( VIDEO )
[ Jack's voice is quiet, nearly monotone and there are dark hollows under his eyes. ]
There's something you should know about the snow in the open areas between the domes. Some of the snow I make has magic in it, and what it does is make people more open to loosening up and playing around in it. It has to do with my center being Fun, it was never intended to hurt anyone but... it did.
Even though this time was an accident... it was also in the big snowfall last March. If you spent a lot of time outside that weekend, you probably got at least a little dose of it. A couple people already knew about this but I'm the one who should have said something before this. Long before, I was just--
I've already tried to break as much of the effect as I can between the three main domes, it should be mostly clear now and back to regular snow.
[ Which might explain the ill effect it seems to have had on him; he's been literally trying to undo the very essence of himself he expended into it. He takes a breath as though to add something else then apparently thinks better of it, reaching over and turning the console off. ]
There's something you should know about the snow in the open areas between the domes. Some of the snow I make has magic in it, and what it does is make people more open to loosening up and playing around in it. It has to do with my center being Fun, it was never intended to hurt anyone but... it did.
Even though this time was an accident... it was also in the big snowfall last March. If you spent a lot of time outside that weekend, you probably got at least a little dose of it. A couple people already knew about this but I'm the one who should have said something before this. Long before, I was just--
I've already tried to break as much of the effect as I can between the three main domes, it should be mostly clear now and back to regular snow.
[ Which might explain the ill effect it seems to have had on him; he's been literally trying to undo the very essence of himself he expended into it. He takes a breath as though to add something else then apparently thinks better of it, reaching over and turning the console off. ]
Yay!
[ Robin. He's here as Robin, and not it... that helps, somewhat. Helps Damian, at least. ]
I've come because I know something about trying to stop being who you are.
[ More than almost anyone else on the turtle. ]
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Of course you do, you have an answer for everything and you're nearly always right. Well, congratulations: your winning streak is unbroken.
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There are some things where you can't win, no matter how much it may matter.
Take a good look at me, Frost. Take a good long look at me, at what you know about me. Every day, every hour, I'm choosing not to be what I've been made to be most of my life. And that's a much shorter life than yours.
Don't become me.
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I would never become you. You think I haven't taken a good look? At the core of Damian is Damian, nobody else. You just deign to let other people in the same hemisphere once in a while.
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Some people don't take 'go away' for an answer. I've tried.
[ Not upset or lashing back out? Nope. Because it's true enough. And he really did try to push Kyle, at least, away. Repeatedly. He's even tried to push Midii away - in some ways. Not by calling her by her last name, no - by arguing why she should stay away. Why she shouldn't like him. ]
[ On the other hand, it doesn't sound like a complaint. More of an exasperation, as fond as Damian gets. ]
But that's beside the point. Damian, as you say it, or part of the package, is what you get when you deny yourself.
I don't 'enjoy being broken,' Frost. What I enjoy, I can't let myself have. So I'm what is left.
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[ Starting to walk away a second time, the brief spike of ire is done and he's hollow again. He hasn't painted anything since coming back to Keeliai; windows around the city remain unadorned. Unlike before it's not out of fear of retribution if he's caught... it, like his focus, has simply gone. ]
I'm sure you have plenty of other deep, winsome opinions on life. If they ever make it into book form, send me a copy.
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Yes, I do. They include that what you enjoy are things that I, for the most part, can't even have - like making people happy, like hope and fun. That you also enjoy beauty, and the cold, even though it took things from you and you didn't choose it in the first place. And that those things are worth not giving up.
And that if you judge me for what I intend to do, even though if it never did, or will, become reality, you'd damn better judge yourself by the same standard.
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Well, I sure feel enlightened now. Let's do this again sometime never, 'kay?
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Right. Of course. Because nothing that I ever say matters. Just as always.
Carry on.
[ And now, he turns to leave Jack to his self-pity. Why did he think the guy who'd been unseen and unheard would listen, anyway? ]
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Or maybe because the world doesn't revolve around what you think matters, more like.
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[ He stops, spinning on one foot to face Damian again. ]
Actually, I've got a question. Where's the class you sign up for that teaches you how to always know the right thing to do? The one that pretty much everyone else seems to have graduated from, because I want in on this.
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[ The response is quick, automatic. But there is a difference, okay? ]
[ Then the question makes Damian also stop, and turn around. He considers that seriously, and he tries to keep most of the sharpness from his voice, instead going for slow, and careful. ]
Everybody makes mistakes, I've been told. [ He holds back the obligatory I'm not supposed to that goes with it. He also doesn't go into how impossible it is for him to forgive, which others find easy... and necessary. ] The only thing I know is that applying as much reason as possible to everything means fewer mistakes. But I know most people find that hard. Thinking of the consequences of actions. Thinking what the goals are, and how something works towards or against them.
That's all I have.
[ Which might mean 'that's all I know that pertains to such a 'class'.' Or... it might mean 'that's all I have to live by' - they are both true. ]
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[ Damian's answer may be considerate but it doesn't give Jack what he's seeking. He wants to know how everyone seems to have the ability to grow and he doesn't. How everyone gets insight in how not to make the same mistakes over and over again, and why his is missing. It's as though he was made without certain aspects besides his memory that prevent him from fully growing. His hand tightens on the staff for a moment, then loosens again. ]
Well, it was worth a shot.
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[ It's not a cross snapping, either. He is sorry Jack sees it that way, but there are some things that are very difficult to change, and less important than the ones he's working on. And... he is somewhat sorry for offenses he's caused that he's not meant. ]
[ He tilts his head. Jack,
you're looking at one of the epitomes of making the same mistakes over and over again...you've had even less time to actually interact with people fully than Damian. Give yourself a break. ]Perhaps... looking for easy solutions is a habit you might want to reconsider, in looking for your answers.
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What, and ruin my unbroken streak? I've perfected this, give me a break. Being serious hasn't done you any favours so I think I'll skip. Later!
[ The wind picks him up in response to his unspoken command and he arrows off into the distance. ]
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