tushanshu | ♒ 6th VIDEO

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♒ 6th VIDEO

[The feed turns on to show Eridan, surely his is a face everyone wants to see so soon, especially after his last post. Though, he looks really fidgety. Drumming his fingers on the desk as he starts:]

So, back when I was on my planet, Alternia, I used to do this thing. Orphanin'. Y'know, go around killin' the lusii a other trolls. I mean, it serwed a purpose, was no mindless slaughter or the like. Was actually a pretty damn honorable job to hawe. Probably the most if I'm bein' honest here. Thankless though it were.

[Is this story time with Eridan? It is possible. The finger drumming ~~intensifies~~ continues. His fins are even flicking here and there with notable agitation as he tries to keep up the ruse of being anything but. Stoic is the aim, but sadly Eridan's aim falls pretty far from the mark when it concerns anything that ain't a gun or wand.]

See, it was called Orphanin', 'cos unlike you pink animals who raise their young all weird an' sympathetic-like, we trolls are taken in by beasts-- [as if on cue, there's a rather large white seahorse peeking into view. Eridan spares him a glance, before shoving his head out of view. He's really a polite child, even to the creature that raised him. But hey, maybe that explains a few things! How mannerly could a guy even be when he was raised by a giant floating seahorse?]

--anyway, it was my job to lay slaughter to a good amount a them, leawin' many a troll without their lusus, like I was some kickass royal slayer or some such. Which I was, don't need you lot thinkin' different and such. The ocean was my killin' cauldron, really...

[He lets out a near dreamy sigh recalling those good memories. But honestly, it just frustrates him more than anything.]

...kinda got off track there for a sec, the whole bloody point a this is to say I'm pretty fuckin' restless as a late, an' sponge numbingly bored. I'm more used to hawin' far more... [violent] things to do.

So, I figured to myself, that I'd ask you lot if you knew a any places where there may be a influx a beasts. I think my intentions are obwious, but I mean, if I don't do somethin' and soon I may be liable to kill someone outta boredom.

[A PAUSE FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT...]

An exaggeration, a course.

HOWEWER, I suppose I could shed some consideration an' ask if you pink skinned beasts got some sorta taboo concernin' the harm a random beasts, but surely you ain't that sensitiwe of a species... right?

[See, He can totally be all sorts of considerate, nothing but consideration here! He's even aiming his pent up violent frustrations at animals and not people!! Such consideration. He's like a dog that's been in its kennel all day with no way to burn off that violent energy, so he's... trying, at least?]

Or, if any a you got any better ideas, I guess I'm willin' to listen to it. But it better not be something's stupid like "hawe you tried not bein' wiolent?" 'Cos fuck that noise.

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[So here he is, in uniform, chewing an apple while on lunch break.]

I dunno, another job? You're doing pretty well being a total moron.

Oh it's you.

[SIGH]

An' how exactly am I bein' a moron, hmm?

'Sup, sunshine!

[He grins widely.]

Wow you're asking for a list of reasons? We're gonna be here for months!

[He takes a bite, and leans back in the chair. Having examined some of Eridan's posts in more detail, he's getting a bit of a Damian vibe, and Kyle's always had good instincts for that sort of thing. He's encountered incredibly violent alien cultures before, anyway.]

Tell you what. Let's talk about you. Ever tried knitting?

Oh you're quite the charmer, aren't you? I ain't no flippin' moron, you howewer, are another matter.

[He gives him a flat look at that. Knitting? Seriously?]

Of course not, I ain't into that stupid shit. There's no use for that crap.

Why thank you, charisma like this doesn't just come along, you know.

[It rolls off him, and he laughs.]

Actually, there's quite the industry. Did you know that most people who come here either ask for clothes, or a job, first thing? [He points to Eridan's scarf.] That's actually a very aesthetically pleasing shade of purple. You could make a lot of money. What was it that guy said? [He rubs his chin.] Selling cute shit.

[Eridan just ignores that part. He has no interest in aiding this guy's undeserved ego. However, when Kyle compliments his purple, he certainly seems to bask in it. Yes. His purple is the best purple, thank you for noticing.]

Okay, but I ain't got the patience for that. More of a instant gratification sorta guy and that gives me no satisfaction at all. Besides, I got other reasons than simple boredom as to why I'm aimin' for not so peaceful things to be doing.

[Like his natural royal blood violent urges. He can't really help it man. He lusts for bloodshed like a fish does water.]

Oh. So I take it you know Bro?

[The thing is Kyle doesn't actually have an ego. He never needed one, but he has no problem pretending. It's hilarious to him.]

[There's an upward quirk of his lip, an aha, when he notices Eridan preening.]

In passing. [He levels a finger at Eridan.] We're still talking about you here.

[Another bite. Gosh this apple is delicious.]

Instant gratification huh. [A beat.] High cost, low benefits. Speaking as an interstellar traveller.

[Eridan raises an eyebrow at that point. But fine. He has no issue talking about himself. At all.]

That all depends on what you consider beneficial. Sometimes the cost of it aids the gratification. An' sometimes, there's no real cost at all.

I may not hawe had the chance to join my race in galactic conquest before a certain ewent happened, but I highly doubt my opinion would change any ewen with interstellar trawelin'.

I mean, I suppose I could see the pleasure in drawin' somethin' out in a way. But I ain't got the patience.

[He's a soldier through and through. More information on the other party at less cost to him? Huzzah.]

Okay, question! [He raises his free hand, for effect.] Don't you have one of those moirail things? Aren't they supposed to [handwave]. I can't imagine you'd make any friends back home, what with killing them and all.

No I don't got no moirail. I don't bloody need one either. Also, stupid, I don't kill my friends.

[BEAT]

...usually. Besides, if they're pissin' me off to the point a inspirin' murderous intent, then it's safe to say I don't need their friendship. Just sayin'.

[Calmly:]

Really? Cuz it did seem like [he taps the console screen] redirecting your violent urges. [he shrugs] Or you could find a kismesis. Don't suppose you've got one of those either.

[Om nom, apple.]

[Oh He's glaring.]

I may be redirectin' my wiolent urges, but that just goes to show how I don't need no one watchin' ower me to keep me in check. I can do it just fine on my own.

[Except he's waited around till it was near unbearable to speak up about it, so...]

No. I don't. Not currently. Remind me again why my romantic affairs are any concern a yours? Let alone your fuckin' business.

Edited 2014-01-09 05:41 (UTC)

[Kyle's stared down far scarier than you, kiddo.]

Uh-huh. And the point of this broadcast was what... exactly? [Oh hey did he finish this apple? He tosses the core and picks up another one, bites into that.] Also, if they weren't, why are you still answering my questions?

[Remember what he said about you being a moron, Eridan? That's reason number one 8D]

I thought that much was obwious, but seein' as you can hardly use the slime in your pan to figure out the most basic an' obwious shit, I'll explain it. Just for you. I was inquirin' a means to blow off some pent up steam. My species? We are naturally fuckin' wiolent, got all types a urges for bloodshed and carnage and if we go a little too long without any, well. Let's just say we find a way to find that satisfaction whether we like it or not.

This post was me bein' magnanimous an' seekin' a means to allewiate myself. Without needin' to slaughter you stiltsuckin' fuckheads. Don't really need to explain myself on my restraint, when normally I'd hawe none.

[Omfg stop eating those apples. His nose crinkles in distaste.]

Perhaps I'm feelin' chatty.

Congratulations, you're... 2% less genocidal than we thought you were. Would you like a cookie?

[You don't like the apple? Too bad. He doesn't feel the need to issue a threat: he himself has hard-won control over his temper and there's no point losing it for some alien kid.]

Every species has a propensity for violence. I still vote knitting. Or sewing. It's like stabbing cloth, takes real elegance. Royalty has those, last I checked.

[He doesn't buy Eridan's an actual prince, but he has no problem using that against him.]

A fly is capable a wiolence, don't mean it got the urges we do. But just like a human to ignore culture an' biology of another species. Also fuck off with the knittin' bullshit, it ain't ewen close to the same shit. Royalty got elegance in fuckin' SPADES, but don't mean we gotta do the peasant work a makin' our elegant garb.

[Whether He buys it or not doesn't change the fact he is indeed royalty, and could very well be considered a prince, his game title notwithstanding.]

Do you actually got somethin' a walue to offer, or is this just some means to dig at me like some wiggler? 'Cos I'm actually tryin' to achiewe somethin' here.

[jeez Kyle, he's even doing this for your boyfriend's sake, ya think you wouldn't be trying to hinder him by agitating him!! Of course, it isn't like Kyle really knows that gem of information. But. Yanno. Whatever.]

[Kyle actually just starts laughing.]

Damn, you're a piece of work, aren't you. My officers would love you. [A pause, and he looks concerned.] Of course, they'd probably use you as fishing bait...

[A beat. He shrugs. Jim's accomodating in ways Kyle isn't, and simply because Jim likes somebody isn't a guarantee Kyle will, or vice versa (See Exhibit A: Avatar Korra).]

Hm, what else is there to do around here. Motorcycle racing?

I really don't giwe a shit how your officers would regard me, nor what you think they'd be capable a usin' me as. Because it ain't like they could do a damn bloody thing to me. At all.

[He is 100% certain of that, and the stare he gives Kyle does well to show it.]

Motorcycle racin'? Can't say I'we done much racin' in general.

[Kyle just smiles, wickedly, and takes another bite of his apple. The truth is otherwise, but why bother? Everyone like this gets their comeuppance, he doesn't need to do a damn thing here.]

Racing's a good idea, if you can get a car from somewhere. Plenty of space, lots of noise, get to mow down a few errant rocks.

[Eridan just ignores that smile. He knows the asshole probably thinks quite the opposite, it's obvious, but Eridan knows what he can handle, no need to try to convince this idiot.]

What a coincidence. Jim was teachin' me how to driwe.

Edited 2014-01-09 07:06 (UTC)

Huh.

[Chews the apple.]

Can you actually reach the pedal? Bikes are easier.

Yes I can, fuck off. I ain't ewen that fuckin' short.

[He rolls his eyes.]

An' would you happen to know where a bike would ewen be?

[A short chuckle.]

Several actually. I know all the good mechanics in the city.

[He hits a few keys and location pings for the Metal Sector are sent over.]

[He half expected him to just pull his leg some more and be needlessly annoying and unhelpful. But then he's being helpful without much argument and Eridan's left surprised and a little quiet. Tentatively:]

Why are you ewen helpin' me, anyway?

[Kyle tilts his head, and for the first time this smile is genuine. He even stops chewing obnoxiously.]

I have a lot of experience with anger. [He taps the console.] Take it or leave it, sunshine, if you're nice I can get you a discount.

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