008; video;

[washitaway]

[ooc: Content warning: References to alcoholism and violence/murder in the post. Comment threads may also include stuff along those lines, and also possibly talk of child abuse/neglect. Other warnings may be added to individual threads as needed. Also, Bioshock Infinite spoilers are a given. Putting this behind a cut just to be safe!]

[It's late at night when he puts this up. The suite behind him is deep in shadows, and it's obvious that Booker hasn't been taking care of himself for a few days - not just his usual 5 o'clock shadow, he hasn't even bathed properly, or changed his clothes or anything. Basically, he's a mess.

He hasn't been seen for days - the only people he's had contact with the past few days have been those who sought him out, either in person or via his inbox, and none of those meetings or conversations have been very long. Or informative.

He's also drunk. He's been drunk for the better part of three days. This, turtleites, is officially a bender. And now, now after all that, Booker's got something to say. It's probably a bad idea, but he's had far worse. Oh, has he ever had worse.]

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that we can't change. We can't change anything. Not the past, not the present, hell not even the future.

[Damn Luteces and their dies, died, will die crap.]

And we sure as hell can't change ourselves.

[He turns his head slightly, taking a drink of whatever liquor he's got on hand - something cheap, not very good, but strong.]

I made my choices. Most of 'em were bad. I destroyed lives, people. Myself. That's all I do. Destroy, and kill. It's all I can do. Even when I try to fix some of those mistakes.

Comstock was right. It always ends in blood. I'm just waiting for the day that the blood is mine.

Comments

Voice // encrypted;

[snedronningen]

[Elsa generally ignores the network. Many of the messages weren't things which caught her attention or seemed important. And lord have mercy on her blood pressure if anyone she recognized made a message.

But this odd message, this monologue catches her attention.

She tips back and forth between answering and staying quiet before flipping on the feed.

Sorry. You got a literal Disney princess Queen answering. But your daughter is one so turn about is fair game.]

We can't change the past, but our future isn't set in stone. Not unless we allow it to happen how it was said to happen.

[and she knows something about futures and prophecies of destruction]

Voice // encrypted;

[washitaway]

[Her response gets a grimace, almost as though Booker was hoping no one would notice or reply. Not that he really expected to be ignored, but still.]

I've seen the future. It's already happened. I don't think I can change it, and even if I could, it wouldn't fix anything.

[video]

[ironface]

You never know. Sometimes your choices can change the present, and drastically at that. What's done is done, but the future is malleable.

Even acting on the best of intentions can lead to many people dying, but that doesn't mean there isn't another solution.

[video]

[washitaway]

No it isn't. It's not malleable, it's already happened. It already will happen.

[Booker seriously you sound like the Luteces stop that.]

[video]

[ironface]

[Anything she would have said is stopped.]

That doesn't even make sense.

[video]

[washitaway]

No, it doesn't. But that doesn't mean it's not true.

[fuckcable]

[That's a familiar look you've got going there, Booker.]

Feel better now that that's off your chest?

[washitaway]

No.

[Nothing will ever make him feel better. He hasn't felt better in twenty years, he's only just now getting around to understanding why.

He takes another drink.]

[fuckcable]

[And that's as much effort as Ric is willing to make with this one.]

Remember to pass out on your stomach.

[washitaway]

[That's all right by Booker - he just grunts faintly and cuts the feed.]

video;

[watcheslanterns]

I'm sorry...but I still think that you're wrong about that.

video;

[washitaway]

You haven't seen what I've seen. [New York, burning. Elizabeth, old and different.] You don't know what I've done. [Wounded Knee. The Pinkertons. Anna.]

video;

[watcheslanterns]

But you don't know what you could do...right?

audio - private;

[wintershepherd]

[ He purposely chooses voice only, knows that a video feed sometimes feels more like being judged. ]

It's not all you do, Booker. It's not what I've seen here.

audio - private;

[washitaway]

And how long before we get ripped back to where we came from and it all starts again?

How long before someone here finds out all I've done and thinks to end me for it? Or worse. Thinks to end her.

Re: audio - private;

[wintershepherd]

No one can fix the whole world, whether they're good or not, best intentions or worst ones.

If you don't like who you've been, then don't keep being that person. It might not easy but it really is that simple.

[ a pause ]

And if you need somewhere to stay, I'm in WO-3A.

[whitelotustile]

... Would you like to go get a cup of tea and something to eat? That much to drink can be quite hard on the body.

[Iroh knows the 'everything is terrible and its all my fault' feeling, even if he's worked passed it. He doesn't believe anything said over the network will really sink in. That and Booker is probably drunk enough that he might not remember it clearly.]

[washitaway]

[Okay, an offer like this is possibly the last thing Booker expected in response to his little monologue.

It's what Elizabeth would've done, if she hadn't left him.]

No. I don't need any tea.

[whitelotustile]

{Ah, see, but everyone needs tea. You just don't know it yet.]

Consider it a favor from an old soldier.

[Not that Iroh talked much about his past, but dealing with the emotional impact of violence on people was something he could do. And 'old soldier' was usually more sympathetic than 'nosy old tea-seller', even if both were true.]

voice; 100% encrypted

[everylittlegirl]

Elizabeth should be there soon if she's not already. Let her clean you up and stop drinking.

voice; 100% encrypted

[washitaway]

She won't. She left, and she's not coming back. It's better this way.

voice; 100% encrypted

[everylittlegirl]

Left like, she's gone from the turtle or like, she left you because you're being a drunk idiot?

voice;

[wreckingbert]

[Bertolt knows he shouldn't be speaking over the network. Hell, beyond the obvious should be hiding thing, speaking over a mechanical device is terrifying. But there's something the man says that resonates with him, and he needs to say something. When he speaks, his voice is quiet, almost inaudible, and very shy.]

Someone has to do it. Even if they don't want to.

voice;

[washitaway]

It's all some of us are good for.

[Booker truly believes that about himself. What other skills does he have? He's just a big, lying thug.]

voice;

[wreckingbert]

[Big lying thugs unite! They can form a club.]

Yes.

[Soft sigh.]

Was it for a good reason? What you did?