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[The network gets an eyeful of weathered, gaunt and very green goblin features as the hooded creature straightens in his chair from fiddling about with the keys. There's half a toothy grin on his lined face; when he speaks his voice is like the bastard child of gravel and sandpaper.]
There we go, I'm a fuckin' natural at this. Anyway, hi, how are ya. I've had a few chats on this thing but for the benefit of the rest of you bums - and I mean that in a very caring way - the name's Styx.
First off, let's get it out of the way: yeah I'm a fuckin' goblin, yeah I fuckin' talk, yeah it's a fuckin' miracle. And if you don't have goblins in your homeland and don't know what I'm talking about, congratulations. I'll make sure someone delivers your medal.
More importantly, who's a guy gotta kill to find steady work around here? I'm not a fucking merchant's helper, you get me? But you need a scout, you need someone or something tracked down, someone's got your property and you need it fetched back quiet-like, that kind of shit, you're singin' my song. [Or, you know, spying and assassinations, that'll work too. But he'd be stupid to be too loud about that in front of too large a crowd.] Last job I took was guiding a guy through hostile territory, real nasty time but I fuckin' got him where he had to go. I don't play around.
Speaking of which, last thing. I doubt he's here or the wallpaper wouldn't be looking so pretty anymore, but I gotta mention it. Anybody runs into an orc named Arkaïl - bigger than me, greener than me, not half as charming though - you send that lunkhead my way. Guy's dogshit at diplomacy, I can't take my eyes off him for ten minutes. Orcs, am I right?
...unless he broke something or owes you money, in which case I've never met him.
There we go, I'm a fuckin' natural at this. Anyway, hi, how are ya. I've had a few chats on this thing but for the benefit of the rest of you bums - and I mean that in a very caring way - the name's Styx.
First off, let's get it out of the way: yeah I'm a fuckin' goblin, yeah I fuckin' talk, yeah it's a fuckin' miracle. And if you don't have goblins in your homeland and don't know what I'm talking about, congratulations. I'll make sure someone delivers your medal.
More importantly, who's a guy gotta kill to find steady work around here? I'm not a fucking merchant's helper, you get me? But you need a scout, you need someone or something tracked down, someone's got your property and you need it fetched back quiet-like, that kind of shit, you're singin' my song. [Or, you know, spying and assassinations, that'll work too. But he'd be stupid to be too loud about that in front of too large a crowd.] Last job I took was guiding a guy through hostile territory, real nasty time but I fuckin' got him where he had to go. I don't play around.
Speaking of which, last thing. I doubt he's here or the wallpaper wouldn't be looking so pretty anymore, but I gotta mention it. Anybody runs into an orc named Arkaïl - bigger than me, greener than me, not half as charming though - you send that lunkhead my way. Guy's dogshit at diplomacy, I can't take my eyes off him for ten minutes. Orcs, am I right?
...unless he broke something or owes you money, in which case I've never met him.
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Since barely anything ever happens around here, I think you're safe for longer than that.