AUDIO; from a cafe; post-bottle

[nerdylilspidey]

 [Peter's not quite in the right place, mentally, to put up a video post. And he definitely isn't sure he should put it up from his own suite. So he's found his way to the nearest cafe, with an oversized hoodie pulled up over his head, and is starting up only an audio feed.]

Never a boring moment around here, is there? One minute we're normal-ish, celebrating Valentine's Day, and the next we're battling evil miasma inside a magic bottle.

Does anyone ever wonder what happened to the idea of rest and relaxation?


[FILTERED to the Spider-family]

...Sorry. About what happened back there. You-- You guys know that that-- That wasn't me. You know that, right...?

Oh, God... [There's a sigh, and then a beat of silence before he continues.] Anyway, just- I'm sorry.

Comments

[nerdylilspidey]

--Wait, what? Kidnapped?

[spideyfanone]

A guy in one universe was keeping his earth from breaking with a machine that ran on mutant-batteries. They ran out of their own. Yoink.

[Which did, strictly speaking, let him avoid dying the same day as the rest of the humans in his dimension, so...]

[nerdylilspidey]

Yikes. That's-- That's crazy.

[spideyfanone]

I got sprung from the battery tube after a couple years. And we even fixed the problem. We just ported everyone from that earth to an uninhabited one.

[nerdylilspidey]

A couple of years?? And you're still- You're okay??

[spideyfanone]

...No. But, y'know, fake it til you make it.

[If only that were the worst thing that happened to him.]

[nerdylilspidey]

... I'm sorry to hear that.

[spideyfanone]

I'm sorry, everything to do with me is really socially awkward. This is why I usually talk about comic books and food.

[Emotions are stupid.]

[nerdylilspidey]

Comic books and food are good topics.

[spideyfanone]

Know what I wish they had here? Pizza.

[Smooth.]

[nerdylilspidey]

Yes. Oh, my God. I've been saying that since we got here.

[spideyfanone]

And while we're dreaming, garlic bread and a pitcher of root beer.

[nerdylilspidey]

Yes. And a nice, big cheeseburger.

[spideyfanone]

Same meal? ...I might be able to do it if I skipped breakfast, actually.

[nerdylilspidey]

Yeah, pizza and burgers are definitely more of a lunch thing.

[spideyfanone]

Maybe, but cold leftover pizza by itself is the breakfast of champions.

[nerdylilspidey]

Very true. That's basically impossible to top.

[spideyfanone]

...I shouldn't do this to myself. I might die of pepperoni withdrawal now.

[nerdylilspidey]

You can always close your eyes and pretend.

[spideyfanone]

I don't think my imagination is that good.

[nerdylilspidey]

You never know until you try.

[spideyfanone]

You'd think in a world with this much magic junk they could manage junk food.

[nerdylilspidey]

I'm not so sure logic applies to much around here.

[spideyfanone]

The magical people who live on a turtle were feeling overwhelmed by the presence of not-voldemort and snatched a totally random assortment of weirdos out of all corners of the multiverse to solve their problems for them. That doesn't make sense to you?

[nerdylilspidey]

Well, when you put it that way...