tushanshu | 001 • [audio]

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001 • [audio]

[ Casey opens with about five seconds of space to start with, since he's rechecking his console operational stats as a precaution. His voice is stiff and a little muffled, but easy enough to understand. ]

Alright. Definitely got this working! [ Moderately loud enthusiasm abounds for a brief moment there, and it is promptly tamped down. ] Sorry. I asked about how these worked just to be safe, but I also hear I got a pretty thick skull, y'know? [ And here there are two quiet thumps followed by a light hiss, because he sure did knock on the side of his head for emphasis. ] Wanted to make sure I got it.

So, uh. Hey. Name's Casey. I'm from New York, and if you don't know what that means, I feel sorry for ya. I guess I'm here to wake up half-drowned and defeat evil like everyone else? The half-drowned thing is pretty new, but I actually have some experience with evil, so here's hopin' I can put myself to good use. I mean, between giant turtles and fightin' bad guys and studying for English Lit., I'll take the bad guys.

If there's anything bigger than the welcome wagon that a guy should be let in on or a familiar face or somethin', though, I'd really appreciate gettin' that outta the way now. Maybe directions to a good sports equipment store? [ Pauuuuse. ] Thanks. Really.

[ That equipment store is really important though. ]

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[A very undignified snort follows.]

Oh yeah, just a couple. But you know, nothing all that big. Just, everything.

Not everything, everything. I'm pretty sure I saw some dude cross the street so he wouldn't have to walk past me. So, uh. Y'know. That was pretty homey. [ All things considered. ]

If they didn't scream before throwing their shoes at you, I think you should consider yourself lucky.

Yeah, but what's it really say about my charm and my roguish good looks, man. [ That is 99% dry humor. He's pretty sure he can understand why people would veer towards their other street options after getting a look at him today. ]

Maybe that they're too good? I mean, maybe people are crossing the street because the thought of being by your side is just...too intense. Maybe you're just so amazingly good looking that people can't handle being close to you.

That's what I tell myself all the time.
That I'm just too pretty for this world.

[ That is a great sentiment. This guy is a regular hoot already. ]

You're a professional motivational speaker, ain'tcha?

Not yet, though maybe someday. For now I'm happy to just keep my Olympic contention options open.

I can respect that. [ He's got loads of respect for friendly banter in general, of course. ] So, how long've you been stuck floating around with our good friend Yertle here? If you don't mind me askin', I mean.

[It gets quiet on the other end of the feed. Ninja quiet.]

Little over a year. Sometimes it feels like longer.

[ Casey can't do ninja quiet. But he can do quiet quiet. How many times has he only thought about thinking first after the fact in his life, now. ]

Ah, that's rough. [ Whether time freezes or not. ] Sorry, man.

Yeah. Me too.

[A beat, where he turns the chipper back to ten.]

But, it's not all doom and gloom. I've got friends. Family. So there's that.

[ Huh. Sounds like he's got a professional on his hands. Not that he can really point fingers for topic-jumps and tone changes. ]

That's a lot better than nothin'. Sometimes you just gotta bear down and count your blessings, right?

Preeeeetty much, yeah. And hey, getting to fight in a war between the forces of good and evil. That's exciting.

Oh, sure. [ Nothing like the age-old war between good and evil to keep you occupied on a Saturday night. ] I actually see some of that goin' around back home already, so I'm hoping experience comes in handy. The sideline's not exactly my style.

Mine neither, though...I'll be honest. I kind of thought my fighting days were over, or at very least numbered, you know?

Yeah? That's some pretty heavy stuff to come in with. [ He assumes. He doesn't know too much about the running scale of Heavy Shit People Get Tu Vash-whatevered With, but he'd call that heavy enough. ]

It would hardly be a fish to discover the existence of water.

[He says sagely, almost too sagely. Like he's repeating something he's heard time and time again, without really understanding.]

[ So there's no escaping old-guy-sounding sagely wisdoms, even in this universe...

It's kind of comforting. He's only been hearing Splinterisms for a few months, but they get under the skin pretty fast. Maybe all bona-fide advice from fathers who actually father people has that way about it. Casey goes ahead and lets the touch of mildly exasperated fondness creep into his tone without a battle. ]

Yeah, I've probably heard that one before. I'll take a raincheck on completely understanding philosophical stuff and settle for kinda getting what you're sayin'.

That, my good sir, is probably for the best. I wouldn't really be able to tell you what it meant anyway, it's just something my father used to say.

So it is a universal fatherly sorta thing. Good to know there are some staples that stick. [ New York and sage advice is all you really need to have a good world right. ]

I can think of worse things for the universe to revolve around.

Ditto. So do you come with a name or am I dealin' with, like. A Rumplestiltskin thing here? [ Gotta account for... mystical dreamworld turtle possibilities.

One day, Casey's gonna start asking people their names when he first has a conversation starting up with them. Like right the very second they bust through his front door or say "hey man, nice to meet you".

That won't be happening in any conversations he has today, but in the future, he just might. ]

[Mike's laugh is a dry one. From here he's sitting Michaelangelo isn't all that far from Rumplestiltskin, which is why he only goes with his nickname.]

I do, and I swear I won't try to steal your first born, or promise to spin straw into gold. I'm Mike.

That's a verbal contract, bro. I'm holdin' you to it. [ The "bro" has already been unleashed. Buddyship is no longer optional and he is still pretty much oblivious tbh. Goddamn it Casey. ] But hey, it's nice to meetcha, Mike. Bad situations and cool people always kinda end up hand in hand for some reason, I guess.

[ That's been his luck in life, anyway. ]

Two great tastes that taste great together?

Do you have a name? Or should I call you Princess?

[Hey, Casey's the one who brought up fairytales.]

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