[Video]

[notaheroascientist]

[the screen turns on to reveal Carlos in his ever-present lab coat, pushing his glasses up his nose as he nervously grins at the screen]

I believe this is the point where introductions are in order, so...my name is Carlos and I am a scientist. I am not of this world, but from what I have been told neither are any of you. I'll need to run some surveys on that later - scientifically speaking, other worlds are very exciting. I mean, I'm here in a world where an entire city can be built on the back of a giant turtle the size of - well I don't know what size yet, I'll need to run some tests, or maybe just find an accurate map - but it's got to be at least the size of Rhode Island! There are just so many rules of physics that this thing must be breaking! Like, how does a turtle that large even float? And that's just in this world, I can't even begin to hypothesise about what else might be...

[Carlos coughs, suddenly remembering that this is actually the time for introductions, and figuring out what on earth (or in this case, what on turtle) he is meant to be doing next, and not time for Science]

Um. Yes. But I can figure that all out later, I'll need time to organise a proper survey questionnaire anyway. In the meantime - this is me, hello [Carlos waves quickly], and I would really appreciate it if someone could tell me where to get food, groceries, that sort of thing. Also is all of this [Carlos waves around him to indicate the place he's been set up in] something paid for, or am I going to need to pay this all back? I meant to ask, but I kind of got distracted with all of my questions about the turtle.

Also I...I realise this is a long shot, but the last otherworldly universe I got stuck in had this fantastic wifi, and I didn't have to worry about my phone's battery dying either. Which meant being stuck in a desert that was not of this world wasn't so bad, because I could still ring home. That...that's not going to be possible here, is it? I mean, obviously if time is not passing in my world then there is no time in which anyone will be able to answer the phone, but I...I just thought I'd check. Just in case.

Comments

[akito]

I... That's a good question! If they don't have blowtorches they would have something similar, for sure!

[notaheroascientist]

Strictly speaking I could always just set it alight normally, but that would also make it much harder to control the experiment. Also there would be the added risk that I might end up accidentally burning the building down.

[akito]

If you're not in the Wood sector it wouldn't be as risky. But! Um, I think something to try prying it open would work the best, mister Carlos.

[notaheroascientist]

Of course. Prying it open will be the first experiment.

The blow torch will be the second one.

[akito]

I... Can I watch?

[ which wasn't exactly what he meant to say. at least not out loud. ]

[notaheroascientist]

Not this time; considering that this experiment is potentially dangerous I'd rather not put anyone else at unnecessary risk. However I will need to conduct the experiment again in the future to see how consistent the results are, and I'll have a better idea by then of whether my safety precautions are sufficient.

[akito]

Ah, it was a dumb question anyway! I'm not good at science anyway. But I think it shouldn't be so dangerous as long as you have a tarp and keep the area well-ventilated!

[notaheroascientist]

Questions aren't dumb. If no one asked any questions, how would we ever find any answers? And if you're not good at science, you just need to practice and get better.

[akito]

Ah, that's true! I'm okay at physics and mechanics and human biology, but anything else is too confusing.

[notaheroascientist]

See, you're not bad a science! Trust me, no scientist is an expert in all fields. In fact most are usually specialists in just one.

And it could be worse! You could only be good at botany.

[akito]

Botany? That's the one where they, um... Can make new plants, ne? Like hybrid plants?

[notaheroascientist]

Yes. They study plants. That's it. Not real science at all.

[akito]

They're good for agriculture though, ne?

[notaheroascientist]

Well...yes. But you should do science instead. Science is waaaaaay better than agriculture.

[akito]

I'm no good with plants. I prefer axles and air-cushioning systems!

But agricultural science would be useful here to make a wider variety of food!

[notaheroascientist]

Well sure, it's useful, but it's not interesting. Real science is about exploring the mysteries of the universe and our own existence! What's more exciting than that?

[akito]

Perfectly balanced, warp-resistant A-T parts~

[notaheroascientist]

[See Carlos's face? This is the face of a scientist who totally does not agree with you]

That's...that's not. I mean, if they were scientifically interesting, maybe...

Anyway, I should probably be going now. I've got a lot of work to do to get this experiment ready.