tushanshu | [Video]

[the screen turns on to reveal Carlos in his ever-present lab coat, pushing his glasses up his nose as he nervously grins at the screen]

I believe this is the point where introductions are in order, so...my name is Carlos and I am a scientist. I am not of this world, but from what I have been told neither are any of you. I'll need to run some surveys on that later - scientifically speaking, other worlds are very exciting. I mean, I'm here in a world where an entire city can be built on the back of a giant turtle the size of - well I don't know what size yet, I'll need to run some tests, or maybe just find an accurate map - but it's got to be at least the size of Rhode Island! There are just so many rules of physics that this thing must be breaking! Like, how does a turtle that large even float? And that's just in this world, I can't even begin to hypothesise about what else might be...

[Carlos coughs, suddenly remembering that this is actually the time for introductions, and figuring out what on earth (or in this case, what on turtle) he is meant to be doing next, and not time for Science]

Um. Yes. But I can figure that all out later, I'll need time to organise a proper survey questionnaire anyway. In the meantime - this is me, hello [Carlos waves quickly], and I would really appreciate it if someone could tell me where to get food, groceries, that sort of thing. Also is all of this [Carlos waves around him to indicate the place he's been set up in] something paid for, or am I going to need to pay this all back? I meant to ask, but I kind of got distracted with all of my questions about the turtle.

Also I...I realise this is a long shot, but the last otherworldly universe I got stuck in had this fantastic wifi, and I didn't have to worry about my phone's battery dying either. Which meant being stuck in a desert that was not of this world wasn't so bad, because I could still ring home. That...that's not going to be possible here, is it? I mean, obviously if time is not passing in my world then there is no time in which anyone will be able to answer the phone, but I...I just thought I'd check. Just in case.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Aracely gets excited about this whole superpower thing anyway, so she is doubly excited that she can talk about it with someone who is as excited as she is. She grins at him, because this is the best reaction she's had to using her powers and because he talks on her level of curious exuberance.]

I can! I don't know how I do it, I just do it! I don't know when it started. One day I woke up floating! That was it. I don't know how long I can stay up. Is that important? Should I find out? I already know I can get to the top of a mountain! That's high!

[Of course she should get excited! It's amazing! And just think of all the scientific implications!]

Yes! Yes you should find out! And I could help - we could run some experiments, time how long you can stay up, measure how high you can go - do they have altimeters here? If not I'll need to build one...

Okay! I don't know what an altimeter is. Why do I need to find out? Is it so I don't fall? That's a good reason. Hey - I can carry people too, do you want to float?

It's a device that measures how high planes are in the air. And why wouldn't you want to find out? Don't you want to know? It's an un-researched scientific phenomenon! It's exciting!

It's probably best if you don't carry me, at least for the height measurements. My extra weight would throw off the readings. But that reminds me, we should find out what the limits on how much you can carry are as well...

[Gasp!]

I'm a phenomenon!?!

Ohhh, that makes sense! But we can do it after. And I know I can carry one cute boy already!

[That's a very scientific measurement.]

Of course you are! Look at you, you're floating! You're very existence changes everything we know about the theory of gravity!

And we'll need a more precise way of measuring that too, cute boys are not a standard unit of measurement.

Maybe it doesn't change the theory of gravity? Oooh, maybe I'm filled with helium and gravity is the only thing keeping me from floating away. Maybe I don't walk, I just float really close to the ground.

Cute boys are too a standard unit of measurement. They're kinda heavy if they have muscles.

Unlikely, but that is a possibility we can look into.

No, they're not! [Carlos might be scolding, but he laughs as he does it] They key word is standard. Are they a cute, lanky boy or a cute, muscular boy? Are they tall? Are they short? Cute boys come in waaay to many variations to ever be anything close to a standard.

Aw. I was going to swap this mask for a luchador mask and start calling myself El Globo.

[She pouts this revelation.]

Cute and. Muscular but not huge? And he's taller than me, but shorter than the Scarlet Spider, but he's too tall. All cute boys should be like that.

I don't know who the Scarlet Spider is, but one specific cute boy - not matter how cute he is - does not, scientifically speaking, represent all of the cute boys that can potentially exist. And that's not even factoring in issues such as personal preference, or the fact that sometimes part of what makes a boy cute isn't anything physical at all, such as their personality or voice.

But what if he's the cutest to exist? I think he - ooh! You're right about that. He's so broody. That adds like ten pounds, okay? Broody adds ten pounds.

[Right? Right.]

You're forgetting about personal preference. Who you consider to be the cutest boy is mostly not the same boy that I consider to be the cutest. And technically if you are going to use a cute boy as your starting point for a system of measurement, the most logical thing to measure then it cuteness specifically, which would then be completely useless in an experiment of your floating abilities.

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