Now young faces grow sad and old and hearts of fire grow cold [Video]

[solo_patria]

[It is not so much that Enjolras is unfeeling, as he's been accused of in the past, but, rather, when it comes to emotional ideas, he sometimes has no idea what to do. Nonetheless, awkwardly stiff as he seems, he's here, regardless, and if he looks a little tired, and a little sad, isn't everyone these days.]

Taraja and I have been talking, and we've had a few ideas she's asked me to share with you. [In the background, the currently sleeping hatchling can be found, for those who happen to look close enough.]

We were speaking of memories, and friends and families and ways to help those that we love go on to whatever else awaits them, and some things that might help them to remember, and...

[Now, Enjolras is holding up something in his hand. A tiny folded paper turtle, actually, one that's very wrinkled, and messy, but still a reasonable attempt at a turtle.]

We were thinking, maybe, that we should make turtles like this, for each of the young ones who have been lost. If those of us with hands folded some turtles, larger than this, big enough to decorate, or to write messages or thoughts on. Things to remind us of those we've loved, a way to keep them in our minds, and their memories alive. We could decorate them together, foreigners, hatchlings, those of the kedan who might still like us, and maybe...save them somewhere for a few days, like some sort of a memorial?

Is that borrowing trouble, does anyone suppose, or would it be too soon to consider it in the wake of trying to actively heal exactly as we are?

It is...something of an idea, at least.

Comments

[solo_patria]

Not quite nothing. There is Taraja when she is spending time with me. I was working at the hospital for a while, but ever since the business with the cultists, I have stepped that back a bit.

[Enjolras is pausing, trying to figure out a way to put this that does not sound paranoid, when it comes to the next thing.]

And well, I cannot help but feel that many of us are distrusted among the kedan now, so I try to make any stops I need rather quickly. I was adopted by a family during the festival a few months back, and they were very kind to me. Now that I know them, and several other kedan I've spoken to before, I would hate to cause them any sort of panic, or trouble when it comes to what other kedan might have to say if I spend too much time out and among them.

[Feuilly had often mentioned co-workers who were afraid to get involved politically with things that they supported, for fear of being shunned, or blacklisted throughout certain businesses or areas of support in the city. While this does not relate to unionizing exactly, Enjolras can see the same principle perhaps applying here, and he'd rather not doom any kedan who are friends, perhaps were, at this point, to a difficult time of it because he needed coffee. So, there that is.]

[gathersnomoss]

We could use more help with the hospital. Especially if there's more trouble.

[solo_patria]

I can certainly find my way back there if my hands are needed.

[There is a smile at that, even though it is a sad one.]

Taraja also has found a third parent. It should be easier to work out schedules in the light of all of this so that she never needs to be alone, and I believe I am healed well enough from the cultists and their poison to...

I feared myself for a bit after that. But I am calmed again, and I do miss the work.

[gathersnomoss]

The more parents the turtles have, the safer they seem to be. The ones targeted were the ones missing parents.

[And a stab of guilt, despite the fact Zel had no idea how Napoleon had chosen his 'parents'. Maybe he could have hurried the turtle along. If he had known...]

[solo_patria]

Indeed.

[There is a firm nod from Enjolras at that.]

I certainly do not intend to let Taraja go anywhere un-escorted now. Before this, I would sometimes send her to find The Captain if she was not far away. Now I know never to let something like that happen again.

And they...they will be missed so very much. I wish that we had had some warning so we might have protected them a bit more. I think all of us would have tried our hardest, certainly.

There are so many "if onlys" in life, aren't there?

[He's sighing, because that does make him upset and uneasy now.]

We must do better in the future, all of us.

[gathersnomoss]

Yeah. I wonder how 'real' parents do it. Assuming they got more choice in the matter than we did.

[solo_patria]

Oh good lord, that makes me marvel at many of the things my parents managed to do, which must not have been as easy as they seemed at the time. I was sent away to school when I was young...perhaps about the mental age the hatchlings are now, if they are almost in their "teen" stage.

[There are some air quotes with that, largely because "teenagers" and the like are a relatively new concept for Enjolras. You were a child, then a young man, capable of being independent, though usually not financially, in his circles, and then, when you were bit older than that, able to vote, if you were of the right class and monetary background anyway. He'd had one year of being eligible for that before his death sent him here.

He's frowning a little now, thinking about his parents, mostly his father, who he hasn't had the time to realize that he's missed by getting wrapped up in his politics, even though distancing himself from a family he could lead to trouble, and a mother who was scared of him, had been the right things to do in order to fulfill the goals set out by his life. And his expression is rare, and a bit wistful.]

Do you know, I wish I'd known mine as an adult? That is, really knew them besides obligatory holiday visits, and the like. I think I must have really worried them, my father mostly at times. I do hope, however, that Taraja turns out not to be "Just like me", like Papa always warned me.

[There's a quirk of his lip there.]

I suppose the shell is proof enough it's not entirely come true. But, no, I would have liked to ask for advice, things like that. I suppose, instead, we figure things out as we go along. If nothing else, perhaps Asti could give us some ideas.

[gathersnomoss]

[Zelgadis nodded]

My parents died when I was very young, so I can't exactly say I had role models.

[The closest thing Zel had to parents was Rezo, and Zel was pretty determined to not end up like that.]

[solo_patria]

You have not? I am sorry to hear that. It must have been difficult.

[It probably still is, really. And their whole odd situation also likely does not help so much.]

Rolemodels can be very beneficial, even if you do not know them personally. I admire the life and works of a great man who was dead before my parents had even been born. Even knowing I shall never meet him, Louis-Antoine had an influence upon my life.
I think being that sort of a role model could be easier. Well. [he's eyedarting a little there.] Apart from being dead.

[Ironic, considering death brought him here, but well. Even so.]

[gathersnomoss]

The problem with role models is that you often find they have feet of clay. Unless they've died long ago.

But that's true for family as well.

WARNING: EXTREMELY GRUESOME BODY HORROR STORY IN TAG

[solo_patria]

At times, even some of those who've died long ago have their own. There is a rumor that my own hero had a woman executed because she would not return his love, and that he had her skin made into a waistcoat. It is untrue, of course, but it speaks to his...severity, I suppose. And conversely, to his reputation as a violent maniac.

Violence was needed, then. It was a violent time that called for extreme means but none so extreme as that, and I do not believe that he made any choices without thinking. Still, the story is a precaution. It reminds me that one must not be so remote and cold as to be perceived by the people as a sort of unfeeling, unthinking monster. And that I must not become the sort of man that people may reduce me to that level, in their estimations of me.

[He's smiling here, despite the story, sliding a finger over one of his hoops, the ones he wears both to draw courage from Saint-Just's memory, and to remind him that he is not a man so quick to be severe as that anymore. ]

Louis-Antoine was severe, remote, and, many would contend, cruel. That last one is not so, but he was such a man as to inspire such a reputation. His feet of clay remind me that I must not let my own feet become quite like his, even as I still admire many things about him.

Re: WARNING: EXTREMELY GRUESOME BODY HORROR STORY IN TAG

[gathersnomoss]

That's... pretty wise of you, actually. Even jerks can be talented, as much as people want to pretend that talent makes you some kind of all-benevolent figure.

Re: WARNING: EXTREMELY GRUESOME BODY HORROR STORY IN TAG

[solo_patria]

I do not know if I can pretend to wisdom, or to talent, myself at least, though I suspect my passion for Justice, and for Right, sometimes leads me to a place where it seems as though I know everything, when it is so far from the truth. I've learned that I must watch myself, lest I think the same thing, benevolence, that is, of myself.

Things can become so dangerous when one suspects that they are the only one fit to lead or to help others. I am relieved that there are many better suited to official business here.

Re: WARNING: EXTREMELY GRUESOME BODY HORROR STORY IN TAG

[gathersnomoss]

It helps that this is a problem I think none of us could deal with alone.

Re: WARNING: EXTREMELY GRUESOME BODY HORROR STORY IN TAG

[solo_patria]

No, we certainly could not, at that.