tushanshu | [handset; audio] 002

[Xion finds it easier to go with voice for this; it affords her a certain sense of anonymity, but doesn't give her the same opportunity to censor and second-guess herself that text has proven to allow, when she's tried to use it thus far. It's still not easy to talk about. Maybe that's why she does this when she does. Part of it is because these thoughts are keeping her up of course, whirling around her head until sleep seems impossible. On the other, it means maybe people are less likely to see this. Maybe.]

Is... there anybody you really, really miss?

[There's a moment, and then she laughs a little to herself, though there's no humor in it.]

I guess... that's almost a silly question, huh?

[Deep breath, in and out. Anybody can probably hear the sigh whuffling across the feed.]

Back home, I had my friends. But then I... left. A lot of stuff had happened, and I just needed to think for a while. But... I hadn't meant to stay away, not forever. I was going to go back... but now I don't know if I'll ever see them again. That's what everybody keeps saying, right? That there's no way to go home.

How do we know if they're okay? People we've... left behind? And... Even if they are okay, even if... if they don't notice we're gone...

[She trails off, not quite sure how to articulate her thoughts on the matter. Whatever else though, it's something uncomfortable she doesn't really care to contemplate. And yet it's hard not to.]

I guess I'm just... [worried] Never mind.

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... I was told we went back to the same time and place we left!

Yeah, that's what I heard too. But... still...

[She trails off again, afraid to voice her concerns aloud. What if something went wrong? What if everything was different now that they'd beaten that... bad guy she'd heard the others who'd been here longer talking about.]

Not being able to go back voluntarily... and not being able to go back at all are two very different problems. Let's... not invite the second one over.

Yeah... I guess I shouldn't.

[She knows he's right, knows she's inviting trouble in a lot of ways. It's just so hard - she's never been away from her friends for so long before (not for any time she was conscious for, at least), and a month feels a lot longer when it's more than a tent of your current lifespan.

Still, he was right.]

Sorry.

Oh... it's fine. [ There's no visual, but you can practically hear Stork waving a hand like that's just how it is. ]

Doom has a way of hunting down its targets-- regardless of invitation.

But if you're worried they'll miss you, just think of all the things you know that you do better than they can.

What?

[It comes out as a half-yelp.]

How... how will that help? My friends and I- It's not about what we can do better than each other. They.... they'd miss me. I know they would...

[She trails off at the end, thinking about Axel's words before she'd run off. About how he and Roxas must have felt when she never turned up. How that must've hurt him. Both of them, really.]

[ Stork sounds genuinely perplexed at her reaction. ]

Of course they would, that's why I said it. It's not about being better than the others, it's...

[ it's an audio only feed, but one can practically hear Stork gesticulating on his end ]

Everyone has different strengths, and they all fit together. Like cogs.

I wonder what strengths I have.

[Her voice is quiet, wistful. Roxas was undoubtedly better with the Keyblade. Axel was best with fire, and knowing things that they didn't... she was pretty good at magic, but magic wasn't what the Orgnaization needed.

Then again, was this really about what the Organization needed?]

We all never really thought about that sort of thing....

[ Stork's tone calms slightly, to what could almost be described as sentimental. ]

The best teams don't think about it, it just happens.

[... that sounds more familiar.]

... and best friends too?

Those too.

[ And then, since she seems to be calming down: ]

So it's fine, right?

I think so? I'm not... sure what "it" is...

[The whole... advice thing? Or this whole message.]

That you're here, for a while.

[ HE IS NOT THE PERSON YOU WANT FOR REASSURANCE, OKAY. But he's trying. ]

Edited 2015-03-21 04:55 (UTC)

I'm not sure if it'll ever really be okay, but...

It's better, I guess.

[She hopes. She feels less immediately miserable, so there's that.]

[ He'll take whatever he can get. ]

So, um. Hi.

[handset; audio] 002 - late at night

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