[CONSOLE] video; BACKDATED to 8 JUNE

[gistful]

[When Anton turns on the video he looks a little ruffled. His tie is gone, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and there's blood on his vest, for the observant. His expression is flat but with an edge of exasperation, and behind him ... Behind him is Skulduggery and Erskine. They're bound together with a five-foot length of chain, Erskine with a manacle on his wrist and Skulduggery with a manacle around his neck-bones.

[Skulduggery is missing his hat, and his suit is tattered. Erskine's in obviously clean clothes, but he's missing a jacket, he's limping slightly, his arm is in a sling and he has a spray-bottle. And they're arguing. Loudly. Anton's voice is raised to be heard over them and, perhaps notably, he keeps his hands out of view of the camera.]

Let it be publicly known that these two reprobates are grounded.

[He jerks his head at them without looking around.]

If anyone sees them on the streets while Erskine, that's the ridiculously pretty one, is not wearing a dog-collar, please punch them both and return them to the Midnight Hotel. If anyone finds them not in the company of each other, please, again, punch them and return them to the Midnight Hotel.

Rest assured that the damages they caused will be repaired at their expense and any loss of revenue reimbursed. We'll be by in the next few days to arrange this.

[Pause.]

Ah. Yes. Skulduggery, that's the idiot who's forgotten his skin, has lost his hat privileges. No hats for Skulduggery. Thank you.

[This broadcast is also available as action, for those staying at the Midnight Hotel.]

Comments

[whitelotustile]

May I suggest kitchen duty? It's a good way to learn how to cooperate with one another.

[video]

[edgeoftheknife]

Oy, don't go giving Anton ideas! I already clean the bloody Hotel as it is.

Besides, we cooperate well enough. When we don't hate each other.

Re: [video]

[whitelotustile]

And what would you say the balance is on 'cooperate' versus 'fight'.

[edgeoftheknife]

Ah. At the moment?

...I don't know, is the world ending?

[whitelotustile]

The turtle is sinking, or so I am told. But that's not the whole world, just the city and the countryside.

[edgeoftheknife]

I-

Wait, the turtle is sinking?

[whitelotustile]

According to the scholars at the university. Very slowly.

[edgeoftheknife]

Oh. Well in that case I'd say the cooperation would far outweigh the urge to fight.

We're pretty decent about cooperating when the world is ending. It's sort of a thing. Force of habit, I guess you could say.

[whitelotustile]

That is a good habit to have, though perhaps you can develop it to less dire circumstances.

[edgeoftheknife]

What, washing dishes? I'll stick with the dire circumstances if it's all the same, thank you.

[whitelotustile]

Being able to wash dishes in peace is a useful skill. Dire circumstances don't happen every day, but we always need clean dishes. Preferably without any getting broken.

[edgeoftheknife]

Maybe they don't happen every day where you're from. We've averted six or seven major disasters in Ireland in the last few years alone. Maybe I'm just spoiled.

Besides, I'm down one arm and chained at the other, remember? [He slightly holds up the hand in the sling and wiggles his fingers.] I think broken dishes might be a given at this point.

[whitelotustile]

That is a strong argument to the proprietor that you can't wash dishes. No one likes broken dishes.

[edgeoftheknife]

See? Yes, my point exactly! Now you tell him, since this was your idea... ah. What did you say your name was, again?

[whitelotustile]

Iroh. And do be careful. I'm sure he can find something for you to do with what hands you have available. But at least it won't be dishes.

[edgeoftheknife]

Iroh, right.

Believe me, I don't doubt that in the slightest. But on the bright side, at least Skulduggery will have to suffer along with me.

[gistful]

It is certainly on the list, to be sure. Or at the very least shopping duty. Under a chaperon, perhaps.

[whitelotustile]

Perhaps. So they don't cause more trouble.

[gistful]

If they truly wished to, a chaperon wouldn't matter except to clean up afterwards.

[whitelotustile]

And to warn away the bystanders.

[gistful]

Precisely. Worth the time and effort for that alone.

[whitelotustile]

Yes. though rumor does spread quickly.

[gistful]

It does at that.

[whitelotustile]

I do hope this works for you.

[gistful]

Thank you.