tushanshu | video; backdated to during the yard sard

[Deon looks characteristically excited...but even more so than usual. And he's talking...a little faster...than usual.]

Okay, so I know about the jar of endless coffee beans in the Hotel, right? That thing is a godsend, it really is, but it's just not enough, you know? Well, I found something, during the yard sale, and I'd really really appreciate it if someone could help me set up something similar. It can be done, right? Course it can, there's an endless jar of coffee beans, this is a lot easier, or should be anyway.

[He holds an open can of Red Bull up to the camera. And the way he's holding it? It looks empty.

Take someone away from their fix for a couple months, and give it back, and don't be surprised when the reaction is a little stronger than usual.]

I found a whole case of Red Bull, and I'd like to know if anyone can make it so that it doesn't run out. Violates every law of physics I know, but the coffee jar proves it can be done, and I know there's people who can do all sorts of magic here, so how about it?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[C'mon, Zatanna, be a bro.]

It's just...it's important, okay? It's something I need to help me work. It's not only the caffeine, it's part of my...I don't know, my routine when I'm working on a project. [Some of his best ideas have come at 5 AM on a Red Bull bender.]

[Sounded more psychological than anything else to her. Maybe sentimental.]

[Hmm...]

How long have you been here?

[She knew he wasn't a new face, but she couldn't recall exactly when she'd started seeing him around.]

About two months.

[That long already? Wow.]

What did you do for those two months, Bull-less?

[She leaned forward, resting a chin in her hand. Curious by his answer. It may or may not play a part in her decision whether or not to offer a magical hand.]

Survived, mostly...? Got acquainted with the coffee jar. [Smacked his old rival in the back of the head. Made friends with a hellhound. Tried not to bleed to death. You know. The usual.]

[Ah, those bring back memories. Especially the smacking part.]

So I'm guessing coffee doesn't have the same effect.

Have you tried brewing it stronger? Like, really, really strong? I've heard if you leave it in there long enough, you could make it thick enough to chew.

[Or, heck, just chew the coffee grounds themselves.]

Ah, well...I'm not quite that patient, [he admits sheepishly. Honestly, it's a struggle some days to wait long enough for the coffee to cool!]

I don't know. You waited two months for Red Bull, after all.

[Even if it wasn't by choice.]

That's different. I don't even really like coffee, but in the absence of anything else, well...

[His tastebuds have been burned out by years of sodium-laden convenience food and energy drinks. Give him time to adjust.]

Alright, alright. I get it.

I might be able to do a little something to help you. Maybe.

[For a price.]

Really? That would be amazing, if you could!

[He'd give up a kidney for infinite Red Bull. Even though that would present some logistical issues.]

Oh, I can do it. Replication magic is easy if I already have all the ingredients to start with.

Plus, I've been practicing.

[That should not sound as ominous as it did.]

[Now why on earth - or why on Konryu - would that be ominous?]

That's fantastic! How does it even work? You know what, you can tell me later. When can you test it out?

[He's bouncing off the walls in excitement.]

A quick ritual, some salt and incense, a few backwards words--[Believe it or not, she was completely serious. Not one part of this was trolling in any way.]--and we'll be in business.

Before you ask, though, no, it's not self-replenishing. Way too many things go wrong with self-activating spells when I can't keep my eye on them.

[He blinks.]

Backwards words?

[Everything else makes sense, he's getting to understand some magical systems. Backwards words might be a bridge too far, though.]

Special family style.

Long story.

Um...yeah, sure. Okay.

[He is 100% nonplussed.]

Besides, that, does it really matter how I manage to do it?

I mean, you're getting what you want out of the deal, and I'm getting...actually, remind me what i'm getting again?

...my undying adoration?

I suppose it's a start.

I'm sure we can come up with something.

You just be sure to let me know when you do.

In the meantime...pop over the Welcome Center when you have some time, and I'll see what I can cook up for you for a first batch.

You are a lifesaver. Thank you.