Console | Subject: Weather | RE: Strong winds, consistent heat

[purered]

Text

Monday 8/3
Winds are high today. Most are keeping their laundry in so their unmentionables don't get blown away. Heat continues with little respite.

Tuesday 8/4
A smattering of showers in the morning. Cleared by the afternoon which was muggier than usual. Humidity cleared up by the evening. Winds continue, strong and erratic.

Wednesday 8/5
Weather remains hot, dry and windy. Nothing of note.

Thursday 8/6
I forgot to keep a log of this day. Something came up. Apologies.

Friday 8/7
Nearly lost my spectacles when the wind changed directions. Very heavy winds, many stalls closed early for the day when merchandise kept blowing around.

Saturday 8/8
Woke up with a spider on my face. I put her back in my pot of lavender, poor thing. Winds a bit less strong, but the heat remains nigh unbearable.

Sunday 8/9
Small showers in the afternoon. A lot of flora has wilted in this heat, so hopefully those give it some respite.

Monday 8/10
Many people working in agriculture are concerned about how long this drought is going to last. Heat remains constant.

Tuesday 8/11
Strong winds felled a number of trees. Fog in the evening.

Wednesday 8/12
Fog continued throughout the morning and cleared in the early afternoon. Hot, muggy and windy.

Thursday 8/13
Hot and windy - damage from fallen trees and debris in the wood sector, albeit minor.

Friday 8/14
Dry heat continues through the day and well into the night. Very unpleasant.

Saturday 8/15
Heavy and erratic winds made laundry a bit difficult. If someone happens to locate the vest that got away from me, I'd be most grateful.

Sunday 8/16
It feels like it's getting hotter, although the temperatures have only really ranged from 36c - 40c through the past two weeks and nothing has changed.

I doubt it needs to be said, but please do your best to conserve water.

[Video]

Continuing with garden tips from last time, here are some more rather helpful hints.

• To restrict an aggressive plant from taking over your garden, keep it in the pot with the bottom cut out when you plant it. That will make the roots grow straight down rather than cause it to invade the space of your other plants.
• To keep animals from eating your root bulbs, stake netting over your flower bed. Come growing season, cut holes in it for the flowers to grow, and you'll never lose your tulips to hungry deer again.
• Compost takes about two weeks to integrate and stabilize in the soil. Do keep this in mind before planting.
• If you have trouble with insects, natural repellents are garlic, onions, chives and chrysanthemums. Plant these in your garden and you'll have little need for pesticides which are, incidentally, very bad for bees and other pollinating insects.

....

I have been told that some levity would be appreciated in these posts. In light of the approaching trouble, I agree with the sentiment. So... yes. These are some jokes I've collected around town.

[He clears his throat and shuffles through his planner for his notes.]

What is the most musical part of a turkey?

...The drumsticks.


Why was the broom late for work?

...He overswept.


Which bird has the worst manners?

...The mockingbird.


Well, I hope that brightened your day a bit. Thank you, and have a lovely day.


[ooc: These two are still to blame.]

Comments

video;

[peacefullywreathed]

[Really. ... Really. Solomon is torn between actually laughing at the man's earnestness, and being appalled. It shows on his face with the amusement combined disbelief.]

I'm sorry, who did you say gave you those jokes?

[Solomon also has no idea there is, in fact, a text attachment, and in case Klaus hasn't seen him on video before, he has a series of small faint scars around his eyes, which don't focus on anything in particular.]

video;

[purered]

[Yes. Really. There is not an insincere bone in all of Klaus's body.]

A few Kedan I spoke to. ...Namely the seven year old niece of the gentleman who I buy flowers from. And two of her friends.

...I thought they were rather clever jokes.

video;

[peacefullywreathed]

Oh, yes, certainly. ... For a seven-year-old.

[A deliberate pause, and Solomon lifts his eyebrows.]

Are you, by chance, a seven-year-old? Never can tell these days, you know.

video;

[purered]

[Klaus is about to recommend he look into getting his eyes checked. You can see it in the way there's a flicker of concern on his face before he remembers sarcasm is a thing. There is a deep, rumbling sigh of exasperation.]

They overheard me talking about this to the shop owner and were very keen to give me their input. I was not in a position where I could refuse.

[In other words, someone has a soft spot when it comes to kids.]

[video]

[pushtheboundaries]

What is a robot's favorite type of music?


Metal.

[video]

[purered]

Is it really? I suppose that-

[Give him a minute.]



[Maybe another minute.]


[Theeeeere's the chuckle.]

[video]

[pushtheboundaries]

There you go. Should I go on?

[video]

[purered]

By all means, please do.

video;

[wintershepherd]

[ Jack is having a good laugh over the puns. ]

You're really hoping this trend takes root, aren't you?

video;

[purered]

Well, Mr Shudder and Mr Cormac thought it best I keep track of the weather, and I didn't want these to get too dull. I thought -

...

Ah.

I see what was done there.

[Klaus, fortunately, looks away when he laughs because boy howdy that is an unfortunate smile.]

Re: video;

[wintershepherd]

[ It takes more than that to put off a spirit, and he appreciates the candor more anyway. ]

Sorry, I couldn't let that one germinate.

video;

[purered]

You're quite good at these. My own talents seem to have yet to bloom however.

video;

[michaeljangelo]

What'll make these jokes 100 times funnier is if you end them by saying, "Wokka wokka wokka."

[Trust Mike, he knows this from his learnings.]

[His secret wish is that someone here will catch the reference...]

video;

[purered]

....Wokka.... wokka... .....wokka...?

[Klaus is wondering if Mike is high right now.]

[video ongoing...]

[michaeljangelo]

Yeah, you know, like...Wokka wokka wokka!

[Here Mike shifts his arms in a jaunty Vaudevillian gesture.]

[video ongoing...]

[purered]

[The look you're getting right now Mikey. Just. The look.]

Are you... quite well...?

[Private Radio Transmission]

[bigdamnhiro]

[Ohhhhhhkay wtf. Fine. This is fine. Yes, the weather's very hot, he's noticed. This comes by radio shortly after the console transmission.]

Uh, Mr. Von Reinherz right? I'm Hiro - I'm the person Stork left most of his stuff to, over at the hotel. Anton said you'd offered to help move things.

[Private Radio Transmission]

[purered]

Ah, yes. It's nice to meet you, Hiro. You have my condolences in regard to your friend.

I would be glad to help you move anything you require. When would you like this done?

[bigdamnhiro]

Tomorrow or the next day. As soon as possible, basically.

[He rubs the back of his neck.]

A lot of the stuff's already been moved, it's just there's this one...really big thing...that's gonna have to be loaded onto a cart or something. And then a few other miscellaneous items.

[Video]

[irishthor]

[Okay, so it's obvious he's unironically serious about this, so Shay kinda has to say something to his roommate about all this...

Clearing his throat, he flicks the feed on.]

Astute observations as ever, sir. [A pause.] I'd like to have a wee word with you, Master von Reinherz. It's nothing serious, whenever you have a spare moment.

[Video]

[purered]

Of course. I'll be heading back to the hotel soon - is that agreeable with you, Mr Cormac?

[Video]

[irishthor]

Perfectly. Thank you.

Audio

[sadisticmoose]

[There is just audiable groaning coming from the other side. Like one would normally hear when punning.]

Audio

[purered]

...Do you need a doctor, sir?

Audio

[sadisticmoose]

Only if one specialises in bloody awful puns.