Skulduggery Pleasant (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
skeletonenigma) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tushanshu2016-01-01 01:46 pm
skeletonenigma) wrote in tushanshu2016-01-01 01:46 pm
[console] video; RELUCTANTLY. SO RELUCTANTLY.
[As the old year ends and the new year begins - or whatever the closest equivalent is for the kedan, but definitely sometime in the middle of the night when the least amount of people are likely to be sitting in front of a console - Skulduggery appears on screen.
The first thing you'll notice is that he's wearing a suit.
It's a tacky red Christmas sweater suit, covered in snowmen and Christmas trees.
On top of this startling sight, Skulduggery's wearing a knit scarf with reindeer on it, nestled neatly but visibly underneath a different knit scarf with mistletoe on it. In place of the usual 1940s private eye hat sitting on top of his head, there's a knit bobble hat with reindeer antlers attached to each side. He's broken into a small cafe to use their public console, and there's a small group of about four kedan children just visible over his left shoulder singing Joy to the World. It's a halting rendition; these children only learned the words last week. But they're happily humming over the parts they don't remember, and having the time of their lives.]
Hello, Keeliai. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.
[This is clearly a bid to fulfill the condition of a piece of blackmail during a time when there won't be many people around to witness it. Unfortunately for Skulduggery, messages left on the console network can be saved and replayed by anyone at any time, and his message is unlikely to be buried before morning.
So he might as well add to it.]
Erskine Ravel and Solomon Wreath, by the way, are both planning to overthrow Keeliai's current government.
[Because who else would sic unwanted music on Skul 24/7. Who else.]
The first thing you'll notice is that he's wearing a suit.
It's a tacky red Christmas sweater suit, covered in snowmen and Christmas trees.
On top of this startling sight, Skulduggery's wearing a knit scarf with reindeer on it, nestled neatly but visibly underneath a different knit scarf with mistletoe on it. In place of the usual 1940s private eye hat sitting on top of his head, there's a knit bobble hat with reindeer antlers attached to each side. He's broken into a small cafe to use their public console, and there's a small group of about four kedan children just visible over his left shoulder singing Joy to the World. It's a halting rendition; these children only learned the words last week. But they're happily humming over the parts they don't remember, and having the time of their lives.]
Hello, Keeliai. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.
[This is clearly a bid to fulfill the condition of a piece of blackmail during a time when there won't be many people around to witness it. Unfortunately for Skulduggery, messages left on the console network can be saved and replayed by anyone at any time, and his message is unlikely to be buried before morning.
So he might as well add to it.]
Erskine Ravel and Solomon Wreath, by the way, are both planning to overthrow Keeliai's current government.
[Because who else would sic unwanted music on Skul 24/7. Who else.]
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You'd likely have some difficulty maintaining governance over anything else from Tu Vishan alone, but regardless, please try to keep the governmental overthrow to a minimum. Both of you.
[And a bit louder:]
Happy birthday, Skulduggery, and happy new year as well.
[And she's out of the room again. Did not even look up from her book long enough to witness the fashion monstrosity. She'll see it later.]
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Given that we're on the back of a transient turtle -
[ - and then Raine passes through the room and wow, Wreath, Skulduggery hates you even more.]
Out of a sense of morbid curiosity, who did you get to make you this suit?
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I know people. Find your own.
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I have my own. They're not the sort of people who can be blackmailed into making something this atrocious.
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Blackmail? Hardly. They were delighted by the opportunity.
[Or rather, she was. Once again he's used the talents of his teenage seamstress.]
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(But yes okay maybe he does. A little.
It's been a really long time since he's seen that smile, okay.)]
Or bribed. Or convinced. Or persuaded. The list goes on. Isn't having terrible endless music follow me around old hat by this point?
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'By this point'? This is only the second time. It'll take at least four more before it gets boring.
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Skulduggery shakes his head sadly.] I thought you were more creative than this.
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[He's the very picture of innocence, as long as your image of innocence includes a living skeleton.]
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